It's a Disaster Page #2

Oh.

Yeah.

Hey. Are we gonna talk about

this, or are you just gonna...

You need something?

No, I'm okay.

I can't get a signal in there.

Hmm.

You getting a signal? Hmm?

On your phone?

Mmm.

Well, feel free to use my

computer in the living room.

Oh, I don't want to

interrupt brunch. Mmm.

I got nothing.

Very considerate.

Um, well, the reception

back here is pretty spotty.

You might want to try

the front porch. Okay.

I can drink this out there? Yeah.

Of course you can. Why would you...

Weird.

Emma, we need

to talk about this.

So Glenn agrees with me.

About what?

That it's better to just

rip the band-aid off.

What did you tell him? I

didn't tell him anything.

I just asked him

a hypothetical question.

Well, he's not stupid, Pete. He's

gonna know what you're asking for.

We just met the guy. How is he gonna

have any idea what I'm asking for?

And how... how do we know

he's not stupid?

(SIGHS) We had an agreement.

Yeah, well, agreements change.

No, they don't.

That's why they're agreements.

This is awkward.

Well, deal with it.

Yeah. I'll deal with it.

(CHILDREN CHATTERING,

LAUGHING)

(BEEPING) Damn. I bet

this game is so good too.

I got nothing.

Me neither.

I'm with AT&T. How about you?

I have no idea.

But I will ask this young lady to

use her phone. Mom, slow down.

No, I'm not at home. No,

I'm not watching the news.

Excuse me, miss?

Miss?

Hey, can I, uh, borrow

your phone real quick?

I'm currently on the phone.

Oh, okay. I'll wait.

What's his name?

Could you not...

(SIREN WAILING)

What's his name?

Mom? No, I didn't...

he's cute.

(SIREN CONTINUES)

Would you not...

Come on. He loves it.

One of them, kinda.

I...

Hey. Hey.

Sh*t!

(SCOFFS)

Oh, can I... miss?

All right, well, see ya.

Oh, god.

I'm so allergic to dogs.

Next to the place

where I get my pedicure...

Is this vintage store

that opened up.

I know you guys think I have the worst

fashion sense ever, but I did find...

- I like vintage.

- I found this really awesome bag.

Except for the mothballs. I think

you'd... I think you'd really like it.

- You usually get the bags that I buy.

- An evening bag or a bag bag?

A bag bag. Do you want to

come upstairs and see it?

Yeah.

(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)

I'll... I'll just be right back.

(SIRENS CONTINUES)

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

( ROCK)

Mmm! Good carrots.

You want to see

my glockenspiel?

Oh, you're, uh, referring to

the musical instrument? Yes.

(CHUCKLES) What else

would I be referring to?

No, I don't...

uh, 'cause... yeah.

Tracy had mentioned that, uh, you

and Buck, uh, perform. Oh, yeah.

We perform all right.

If you behave yourself at brunch

today, maybe we'll let you tap it.

(CHUCKLES)

Do you bump?

(TYPING)

Hmm? Excuse me?

Bump. It's an App.

Oh, yeah. Oh, the thing with

the... the information sharing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You want to try it?

Yeah. I'm not sure what,

uh... how that works.

Uh...

This one?

Okay.

Okay.

Uh, all right. I don't think

you have to actually hit it.

Hmm. I'm not getting

any signal at all.

No connection. Awkward.

All right... ohh! Ohh!

(CLATTERS ON FLOOR)

I said you don't have to...

(LAUGHS)

What is goin' on here?

Are you guys bumping?

We were bumping.

Glennzo, are you bumping my wife

behind my back? What's going on here?

Their screens aren't even protected.

That is gross. Oh, Glenn.

Ooh, is that humus? Yes. Vegan, yes.

Uh, where's Hedy and Tracy?

They are upstairs in the bedroom

eating each other out.

(LAUGHS)

You ever seen Black Swan, Glenn?

(GIGGLES)

I told you it's so big. It's super big.

But there's so many flaps.

- The flaps just get in the way.

- I know what you mean.

(LAUGHING)

- You're like...

Did I say something funny?

Why? What happened?

Uh... uh, Lexi

had made a joke,

Uh, that,

Uh, you and Hedy were

upstairs in the bedroom...

Having a lesbian relationship.

LEXI:
Yeah!

(LAUGHING)

It sounds so gross

when he says it.

- Lesbian. Oh, that one.

- Why? It would be hot.

- So, uh, Glenn, what do you do?

- He is a teacher.

- Yes.

- Oh, my god. Me too.

Tracy didn't tell you that? I, uh...

she's a teacher. I didn't... not yet.

What grade do you teach? Uh, fourth.

History. And you?

Um, 12th.

Mostly A.P. Chemistry.

But now this semester, they're letting me

do a little bit of conceptional physics.

Sorry.

GLENN:
Oh, boy.

What are you...

an animal?

So what school are you at?

- St. Andrew's elementary.

- Is that the one by the mall?

GLENN:
Yes. She

loves the mall.

Oh, it's fun.

I love the mall.

EMMA:
It's a good school.

What school do you...

- I'm at M.L.K. Downtown. - Oh, I thought they

closed that down after the shooting. No?

Because some of us teachers got together

and we rallied and we got a charter.

So... and it actually made me a bit

of an administrator on campus.

- You didn't tell me that.

- But it's an un...

They're unpaid.

Unpaid administrators.

If it was about the money, I would have taken

the job at the national science foundation.

- Right? Am I right?

- Right. Right, yeah.

Yeah.

I'm right.

Emma, I'm sorry to do this,

but this isn't working.

- Are you still cool with me using your

computer? - Yeah. Go for it, totally.

No, come on.

What? What?

Do you have to do that right now?

Babe, I'm dying here right now.

Okay? I mean,

you remember the guy...

Who found the declaration of independence

for five dollars at a garage sale?

You're not the guy who found the

declaration of independence.

I'm about to though. And I don't

know what's going on, all right?

Shane, as long as you're

disrupting the brunch,

I would like to vote we go in there

and check out the score in the game.

No. We have it on the dvr.

Just watch it when we get home.

It's not like watching the game live.

Hey, guys. Guys, seriously.

SHANE:
I don't care. I think

the men would all agree that, uh,

We'd love to go in there and

check on the score of the game.

BUCK:
I would second that.

Glennzo?

- Score of what game?

- The U.T. Game.

- Hook 'em, horns.

- GLENN:
Oh, right. Right.

- No, that's the devil sign.

(LAUGHING)

- You guys go watch the f***ing game already.

- Yes, please.

Great idea. Yeah. Sure. Let's eat.

Have fun, honey.

Lexi, I'm not gonna resist a lady's offer.

(CHUCKLES)

Come on.

No.

Great.

Glenn, you'd better go. It's

gonna get all vaginal in here.

Okay. All right. New word, please.

She can't say the v-word.

No, I can say it. I

know it's... (LAUGHS)

I can say it. I just...

you can go.

Is it okay? Um, is it okay to go?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay. I just

wanted to...

(STATIC) Bye, Glenn.

He's so cute.

He just asked for

your permission to get up.

He's so cute. I'm gonna

introduce him to my father.

(LAUGHS)

Okay. Wait.

I want to know

what happened to brad.

It turned out

he was f***ing crazy.

- What?

- Right.

He didn't seem crazy.

What do you mean right? How can

every guy you ever date...

Turn out to be crazy? They just do.

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