It's a Disaster Page #6

- Gracias.

Wait. What did you

just say?

- Gracias.

- No, you said you remember...

Singing in the shower here

to "Louie Louie" once.

- Yeah.

- When?

- What?

- When did you take a shower here?

It was a long time ago.

No, I'm sorry. Let me

rephrase the question, Lexi.

Why did you take a shower here?

Pete? You want to help Lexi

out with this question?

Okay, guys, we cannot turn

on each other right now.

That's exactly what

the enemy wants.

I'm in agreement.

What's everybody doing... is that a radio?

Have you tried it?

EMMA:
Not yet. Why not?

'cause I just found out...

That my husband

is f***ing my best friend.

Best friend?

Okay, let's put a pin in

that for now, why don't we,

And find out if this works

and if we're gonna live or d...

(RADIO CLICKS ON, STATIC)

Oh, thank god it works.

(STATIC CONTINUES)

(STATIC)

WOMAN:

One, seven, nine, one,

One, eight, eight, two...

It's like lost.

Shh!

...Emergency broadcast system.

Please stay in your homes

as first responders...

Address the areas within

the initial blast zone.

This is not... this is real.

(CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)

...United states air force,

five, five, zero.

Please stay in your homes

and take proper precautions.

Depending on your distance to the

blast radius and toxicity levels...

(GASPS, INHALES)

First responders...

Tracy, you're a first responder.

Shouldn't you go?... Four to five days.

I... (SCOFFS)

I'm not on call today.

We need to get

the f*** outta here.

What part of "stay in your

homes" do you not understand?

This isn't my home.

We can take up the semantics of

possessive pronouns next week.

First of all, we don't even know

if that signal was from our side.

Four to five days. Do you

know how long that is?

Yes.

If we stay in here

for four to five days,

We are giving everyone

else a head start...

To go out and form motorcycle

gangs, loot and pillage.

All the good canned goods

and shotguns.

We're gonna go out. All we're gonna find

is refried beans and motor scooters.

I liked motor scooters.

Oh, shut up.

HEDY:
Hey!

Can I have some scotch?

Ab... absolutely, Hedy.

Help yourself.

Hedy.

(CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)

Hedy, Hedy, Hedy.

Okay, we need to make a plan.

A plan?

Yeah, yeah.

Me and you... that's all

that matters right now.

Tracy could be an asset

'cause she's a doctor.

And maybe Buck knows

how to work a rifle.

But I don't know if that's just some

mental association I'm making...

Because his name is Buck.

Do have a rifle? No, no.

We're gonna get one.

There's a guns-and-ammo store down

at Duvall Street right by the toby.

Oh, yeah. I love that place. I know.

I know. It's great.

Right now, we need to make a break for

the car and hightail it outta here.

My uncle has that cabin in...

I'm gonna...

I'm gonna go get a drink.

I'm gonna go get a drink.

That's my plan.

Drink plenty of water. Get as much

water as you can, babe. All right?

(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)

Oh, God.

Hey. Look who's

up and at 'em.

I'm just closing up the

vents so we don't die.

You know, I actually

used to work...

At an air-conditioning

place in high school.

And get this. The guy who ran

the place was named A.C.

(CHUCKLING)

A.C. Ran and A.C. Shop.

Do you think that when we die,

We have to wear the clothes we

died in for all of eternity?

No way. I bet we get those

kickin' white robes...

Like you see

in the old cartoons.

I look awful in white.

Maybe Emma would let me

borrow some sweats.

I bet you get

a sweet-ass harp too.

(SIRENS CONTINUE, LOUDER)

Hmm.

(LAUGHS)

Do you have any idea

how many human beings...

Are estimated to have

lived and died on earth...

Throughout all of time?

I have absolutely no idea.

106 billion.

Wow.

Yeah. So what you're saying

is that when we die,

We're going to a place

where 106 billion people...

Are sitting around

playing the harp.

That would be really

f***ing annoying.

Well, maybe heaven is what

you make it in your mind.

No.

( COUNTRY ROCK)

- Can I come in?

- No.

I wanna talk about this.

I don't.

Please, can I come in? No.

It didn't mean

anything, Emmers.

It happened after we'd already decided

to go through with the divorce.

- I thought it was over.

- It is over.

And it doesn't make it okay.

(HELICOPTER WHIRRING

IN DISTANCE)

(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)

(GLASS RATTLING)

SHANE:
I can't see anything.

It's probably helicopters.

Yeah, but are they

ours or theirs?

We still don't even

know who "they" is.

They "are"?

(SCOFFS) They "is."

They are.

F*** this.

I'm gonna get outta here.

No, no, no! Shane!

- You guys, don't even try to stop me.

- No! No!

I got him! I wanna see

what's out there.

Curiosity

killed the cat, Shane!

And in this case, the cat died a slow and

painful death from radiation poisoning.

(KNOCKING)

WOMAN:
Hello?

- Gordon and jenny.

- Jenny and Gordon.

Oh!

(GASPS) Oh, sh*t.

They look terrible.

I like jenny's jacket though.

Hey, jenny!

I like your jacket!

Thanks. Hey, uh,

could you guys let us in?

What's going on out there?

It's bad.

It's real bad.

Can you be more specific?

(EXHALES) I've seen things.

Could you maybe name one thing?

(COUGHING) Look, Gordon

isn't doing so well.

Do you think you could

let us in, please?

Um, actually we can't...

'cause we already

duct-taped the door.

Well, can't you

just re-tape it?

But if we let you guys in,

you'll infect us all, so...

I'm a doctor. I don't

make this sh*t up.

(COUGHING) We're not

gonna last out here.

Well, maybe you should learn

to show up to things on time.

- Huh?

- Is that what this is about?

Every brunch, jenny.

Every brunch.

It's just really inconsiderate.

We really tried to make it here on time.

No, you didn't.

You didn't think

about punctuality...

Or how it affects

other people's lives.

Some people make dishes

that are hot...

And meant to be served...

At the designated

eating time agreed upon.

You're still mad about that

thing with Claudio, aren't you?

Let's not rehash

old wounds, jenny.

You've got much bigger

problems now.

It was new year's eve, Tracy.

It just happened.

Who... who is Claudio?

(THUD, GROAN)

Open the door, Tracy. Tracy!

Okay, bye now.

That was some cold sh*t, Tracy.

Yeah.

Was it? I thought

it was kind of harsh.

No. It's us or them.

And judging by their rapid

cellular deterioration,

The toxicity level must be

pretty dense and fast acting.

But radiation usually

takes weeks to...

It's not radiation.

The emergency broadcast

said V.X.

As in V.X. Nerve gas.

As in...

The most toxic chemical weapon

ever synthesized.

(CRUNCHING)

That's not good, is it?

No. It's not good.

SHANE:
Holy sh*t.

That's the stuff from Iraq.

Well, babe, what

does this mean for us?

It means we're

all gonna be dead...

In, like, three hours.

What'd I miss?

(JETS ROARING OVERHEAD)

( ROCK, MUFFLED)

Jesus, how many times have

we been in this position?

Terrorist attack?

We don't know it's terrorists.

Yeah, well, I'll take

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes