It's a Gift Page #3

Could have hit me in the back if

he had to throw it. And clams too.

I hate clams.

Well, I suppose we'll soon be living

next door to the wealthy Bissonettes.

It begins to look like it.

Of course, no amount of money could

compensate for the loss of a dear one.

Oh, no, of course not, my dear. But

after all, it's only human to plan.

Oh, I hope to make life much more

comfortable for us all... when it comes.

Oh, Mr. Bissonette.

- Ah, good morning, Miss Dunk.

- What have you in the way of steaks?

- Nothing in the way. Can get right to them.

- I'll take two pounds round steak.

- Off the rump?

- Yes.

Uh-huh.

Two round off the rump.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Sure thing.

Whew!

Boo.

Get Blood Poison out of here!

Take him away! Amuse him somewhere.

Eating all the profits.

I won't make a nickel

on this steak.

It's so hard for me to

wear black. Yes, I know.

Black is very trying for some. Why

don't you go to Schmankendorf's?

They specialize in such lovely

things for older women. Pardon me.

Get him outta there!

Don't pull it! Don't pull it!

You... What'd you pull it for,

you big lunk? Get him outta there.

Get him off there.

Get him off.

Aah, what are you doing?

Why did you let him

turn the molasses on for?

I told him I wouldn't do it

if I was him.

You told him you wouldn't

do it if you was him.

Get him outta here! Get

him out! Get him out!

What are you doing

to my child? Oh!

Oh! What do you mean by running

molasses all over and ruining his shoes?

Give me my baby. You'll never

see me in this store again.

Come on, darling.

Not only lost her trade,

but lost all of our molasses.

I hate you.

Get out!

Whew! That's the spreadinest

stuff I ever saw in my life.

Hello, John.

Get down here.

Come on up.

No, come here.

What's the matter?

Your father was at our office and he

paid the rest on that orange ranch.

He did?

Every cent of it.

Oh, Mother will just murder him.

They shouldn't have taken the money.

He forced them to

on that contract.

Oh, John, that's awful. Couldn't

somebody try to talk him out of it?

The boss tried hard enough,

but it didn't do any good.

The only real money

you'll ever have,

and you threw it away before you

got your hands on a penny of it.

What are you lying there for? I'm tired.

Why don't you go to bed? I thought I'd

lie down and take a little nap first.

I don't see how you got

the bank to lend you money...

on the strength of your getting

anything from Uncle Bean's estate.

Probably stopped in at the

saloon on the way there.

No, I didn't. Tonight, I...

Never a thought of me or the

children. No insurance. Nothing.

What if something should happen to you? Your

Uncle Bean wasn't much older than you are.

Yes, two months

and four years.

Just let thatJohn Durston

try to get into my place again.

Are you listening to me?

Wake up!

Wake up and go to sleep.

I've given you the best years

of my life. Yes, you have, dear.

And now I suppose I'll have to

spend the rest of them...

depending on that grocery store

for a bare existence.

I sold the grocery store.

What?

I'm now in the orange business. Oh! Oh.

As I was saying...

Are you listening to me?

Uh, yes, dear.

Yes, dear. Yes, dear.

For 20 years, I've struggled to

make a home for you and the children.

That's right, dear.

Slaving day in and day out

to make both ends meet.

Yes, you have.

Sometimes I don't know

which way to turn.

Uh, turn over on

your right side, dear.

Sleeping on your left side

is bad for the heart.

Goodness gracious.

Oh, it's the telephone. Shall

I answer the telephone, dear?

Naturally.

Yeah... naturally.

Naturally.

Oh, what are you doing now?

Nothing, dear. Nothing.

I can't think

of the number.

Oh! Hello.

No.

No, this is not

the maternity hospital.

Oh.

Think we oughta take

that telephone out.

Who was it?

Uh, somebody called up, wanted to know

if this was the maternity hospital.

What did you tell them?

Uh, I-I told 'em no,

it wasn't the maternity hospital.

Funny thing they should call you

up here at this hour of the night...

from the maternity hospital.

They didn't call me up, dear,

from the maternity hospital.

They wanted to know if this

was the maternity hospital.

Oh. Now you change it.

No, I didn't change it, dear.

L- I told you.

They, uh... They asked me if this

was the maternity hospital...

Oh, don't make it any worse.

They asked me...

I don't know how you expect

anybody to get any sleep,

hopping in and out of bed

all night,

tinkering 'round the house...

waiting up

for telephone calls.

You have absolutely

no consideration...

for anybody but yourself.

I have to get up

in the morning,

get breakfast

for you and the children.

I have no maid, you know.

Probably never shall have one.

Oh.

Harold, will you please keep quiet

and let me get some sleep!

Coming... Uh, come...

Uh, yes, yes, dear. Yes.

Hey, make a little less noise

down there, will you?

Sweet repose.

As a special favor, please stop playing

with those sleigh bells, will you?

Ow.

What a night!

This is not a night for love.

Is this 1726 Prill Avenue?

No.

Is there a Prill Avenue in

this neighborhood? I don't know.

Do you know a man

by the name of LaFong?

Carl LaFong.

Capital "L," small "A,"

capital "F," small "O,"

small "N," small "G."

LaFong.

Carl LaFong.

No, I don't know

Carl LaFong.

Capital "L," small "A,"

capital "F," small "O,"

small "N," small "G."

And if I did know Carl LaFong,

I wouldn't admit it.

Well, he's a railroad man, and he

leaves home very early in the morning.

Well, he's a chump.

I hear he's interested

in an annuity policy.

Oh, isn't that wonderful?

Yes. Yes, it is.

The public are buying them

like hotcakes.

All companies are going to discontinue this

form of policy after the 23rd of this month.

That's rather unfortunate.

Yes, it will be.

Maybe you would be interested

in such a policy. I would not.

What's your age?

None of your business.

I would say you are a man about

50. Yeah, you would say that.

Let me see.

Fifty, fifty, fifty.

Ah, here we are.

Here we have it.

Now, you can, by paying only

five dollars a week,

retire when you are 90

on a comfortable income.

I can retire when I'm 90?

That's right. You got the idea...

Look out!

Don't sit down there.

Or you can change to a regular paid-up

policy, and at death your beneficiaries...

Harold! If you and your friend

wish to exchange ribald stories,

please take it downstairs.

My friend!

And should you live

to be 100, we... Oh!

I suppose if I live to be 200,

I'll get a velocipede.

If you wish to visit with Mr. Bissonette,

come around some morning. Say about 10:00.

I never wanna see him again. Then

why did you invite him up here?

I invite...

I'd like to... Oh!

If I could only retire now.

Right on the proboscis too.

Who's doing that?

Shades of Bacchus!

Even a worm will turn.

Stop!

Here's your ice pick.

Don't give him those grapes! Oh!

Look what you've done to my floor. It wasn't

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