It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World Page #10
What are you doing?
- I said stop!
- Are you crazy?
- We'll get killed!
- Pull over!
Don't you know what I mean?
I said stop that car!
When I get my hands on you, Russell,
I will kill you!
Are you crazy?
Ah!
I've never seen anything
like this bunch.
He ran right into them,
ran them right off the road.
- You guys, come on out of there!
- Fellow's absolutely beside himself.
- What are you trying to do?
- Let's go!
- What did you do to my mother?
- We wouldn't do any...
Move! Move!
- What did you do to my mother?
- I didn't do anything! Let me explain.
Look here.
She called me. She phoned me.
What she told me was so horrible,
I thought she'd gone nuts!
- It was true, wasn't it?
- It's not true.
Whoever told you was a liar.
It's not true.
- It is true!
- Now, look here!
Are you English? Just answer me!
Yes. As a matter of fact, I am.
Don't you like the English?
There was an Englishman.
She said that you and this Englishman...
I'll kill you!
What did you do to my Mama?
- Emmeline!
- Mama!
Why couldn't you listen?
Why couldn't you shut up...
...when I was trying
to tell you to listen?
That chap's run absolutely amok!
Few minutes, we'll have 'em in position.
In a couple of minutes,
we'll have you in position.
- You're doing a great job, Colonel.
- Thank you.
Why not just shoot 'em down?
None of these people must suspect...
...that they have ever been
under observation.
Now, none of them have ever seen me.
None of them know me...
...so I'll be moving in alone.
The minute I move in,
I'll give you the word.
And when you pass the word...
...I don't want to have another
policeman within miles of me.
- Right?
- Right.
I, uh...
I won't like it
if I see another policeman.
I give you my word.
I wanted to stop for you.
My wife and he wanted to stop for you.
Tell him how my mother-in-law
made us drive by him.
Anything you have to say
about your mother-in-law...
...you don't have to explain to me.
You know what I mean?
If she were a star
of a real crummy horror movie...
...I'd believe it.
Yeah!
That's him!
If I catch you, I'll kill you!
I tell you, I'll kill you!
You dirty robber!
Someone you know?
I'll drive. All set?
All set, Chief.
Culpeper, all set?
Yes, sir.
Airport just reported
and they're starting an approach now.
Right.
What's the matter, Chief?
You forgotten something?
No. I don't think
I've forgotten a thing.
Now, men, about the brakes...
You've got to know about the brakes.
I'll tell you
in just a minute. Just hold it a second.
What the hell is with this wire?
Just hold it a second.
What was that?
Men, look.
Be calm. This is it.
Just one minute more, it'll be all over.
I mean, it'll all be over.
I mean, courage, men.
We're all with you every second.
We're pulling for you
as hard as we can.
Now it's just hold onto
your nerves, men,
and not get excited
or do anything foolish.
But just keep calm.
That's all we'll do.
Keep calm. Calm, men!
Not that calm, you idiot!
Pull up!
Now, don't worry. Just keep calm.
What's this?
What's this that's coming?
- That's good. That's cement.
- What? Wait a minute! Hold it!
What are you doing, Benjy?
- What, are you trying to scare me?
- No!
Well, you did.
It's just a couple of sticks
of dynamite, that's all.
How much noise could it make?
Boom. It's all over.
Get it over right! Get it over!
Left rudder!
Too low! Pull up.
No! Left rudder!
No! Pull it up!
Help!
Help!
I'm the Colonel, you know!
Help!
Help! Get me down!
We're not going to land
and we'll never make it.
What do you mean, we'll never make it?
Don't freeze.
Benjy, don't freeze.
This one's going to work.
- Damn it, come to!
- You hit me.
Listen, wait a minute.
We're down!
- We're on the ground.
- Hooray!
It's just a noise, that's all.
It's way over there.
Put on the brakes.
Okay. Where are they?
Benjy! Here comes a restaurant!
We've landed! Come on.
Come on. Hurry. Now, hurry up.
- Come on, let's go.
- What about him?
Never mind him.
An ambulance will come.
Let's get out of here.
Cab!
Cab!
We're in an awful hurry.
Do you know where the State Park is?
Sure. What happened?
Emergency landing. Come on, hurry.
Quick, let's go. Come on.
Come on, Benjy.
Oh! Excuse me.
Excuse us. Here's your bag.
You see, the lock didn't work.
Go.
That's all.
The owners will pay for everything.
Next door, he'll pay for everything.
It's okay.
You people. You!
Come back here. Come back!
You vandals!
The cops in this town
are morons, retarded.
I'm dealing with moronic people.
'Cause he's in a bad humor,
that fat Nazi.
What, I gotta suffer 'cause of him?
Get away from me.
What's the matter?
Can't you see I'm on the phone?
Gimme two minutes!
Now, listen, Sy...
Will you take us
to Santa Rosita State Park?
What's the matter?
What happened to you? Initiation?
We had an accident. Hurry up!
Benjamin and Bell stopped
at a gardener supply place
and bought picks and shovels.
Hold it, Chief.
Here's a report on the Crumps.
Their cab turned onto 101 moving south
toward your present position.
Wait. The other taxi's
also turning onto 101...
...and they're moving north.
They're both coming your way.
Understood.
Stand by.
- They ought to be here any minute.
- Uh-huh.
Look.
It's the two idiots, the little one and
the one with the marbles in his mouth.
- It's that hokey dentist.
- Yeah.
Pass that cab.
- What's the rush?
- Whaddaya mean "rush"?
No rush. We're just in a hurry.
Culpeper.
Now.
Give the order to pull away.
- Come on. Hurry up.
- Shouldn't I wait around?
No. Here's $5.
- What's with the pick and shovel?
- Mind your own business. Come on.
Hey! Hey!
- Think anybody is here?
- Didn't see any cars.
Wait a minute!
- Let's talk this over.
- I got nothing to talk about.
Wait a minute.
Think anybody else has been here?
- How should I know?
- Wait!
If you think we're the first ones here,
why not make a deal?
The four of us?
Nobody knows where to look,
so we'll look together.
We'll find it before the others.
Incidentally, where are all the others?
How come you two just got here?
You had the plane.
Yeah... What happened to you?
They're up to something funny,
you hear?
Did you see the blonde I brought,
covered in paint with her dress ripped?
What's that all about?
Yeah. And what about
the picks and shovels?
You run back to headquarters.
Wait till you hear from me.
Let me come, Chief.
I'd like to,
Thanks for everything.
Lots of luck, Chief.
Benjy! Did you see anything, pal?
No, but there must be
something somewhere.
Yeah... Hey! Hey!
- See anything?
- Not a thing.
Are you sure he didn't say
something you've forgotten?
He said it's buried under a big W
and that we'd see it.
- It's gotta be here.
- I tell you what we do.
You go how we came.
We'll go how you came.
We might have missed something.
Hold it.
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"It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 22 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/it's_a_mad,_mad,_mad,_mad_world_11049>.
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