It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World Page #11

You go the way we came...

That's right. Okay, let's go.

They're looking for something

buried under a big W.

I heard one of them,

the stutterer, say it.

Yeah, I heard. But what?

Hey!

Did you see anything?

- No. Did you?

- Nothing.

That guy hid it so good,

he couldn't find it himself.

I think...

Who's he?

- I don't know.

- But he had a shovel.

Maybe he's a prospector.

- What are you talking...

- We're wasting time.

Harder. We gotta look harder!

Let's look harder. Come on, let's go.

Who's he?

I don't know,

but he hasn't got a shovel.

- He's here, I tell ya.

- Yes, sir. That's his car.

- I'll get that phony.

- Somebody must've come in those cabs.

- Come on, let's get moving!

- Come on, let's get moving!

- They must be here.

- They'd better be. Come on, Emmeline.

- Don't just sit there!

- Don't just sit there!

Yes, I am.

Then sit!

Mrs. Finch,

aren't you the teeniest bit curious?

No. I'm not even curious,

just disgusted.

I say, that really is a pity.

Do forgive me, I must go.

Psst!

You wouldn't know a big W

if you saw one!

- I know a...

- Shut up!

I don't care what you say,

I don't think they're here yet.

They're here somewhere.

That means they haven't found it.

That's all he said? "Under a big W"?

Actually, I joined the party after that.

Yes, sir, that's what he said.

It's under a big W.

- Let's look...

- Will you shut up and follow me?

- Who's that?

- I don't know!

- From this morning?

- Yes.

- Who's he?

- I don't know.

- Who's he?

- I don't know!

Mama, how many people

are mixed up in this?

Mama, who are they? Cabbies?

Mama, this thing's like a convention.

Is anything wrong, ma'am?

I didn't mean to startle you.

Who are you? Are you with the others,

the ones that are looking?

- I am, in a way. Aren't you?

- No.

I mean, I didn't want anything

to do with it right from the start.

And you know what?

I know where it is. I'm the only one,

and I wasn't even looking.

You know where it is?

Yes! What should I do?

Ugh!

Come on out, everyone!

This is ridiculous.

- I absolutely agree.

- Come on out.

We all know we're all here.

Nobody's fooling anyone.

So we all know. So what?

Don't talk to my mama

in that tone of voice!

- You hear?

- Shut up!

Listen, we ain't the only ones here.

I seen four or five others.

Those two cab drivers.

- They came with us and that dentist.

- You want to start?

- Yes, I want to...

- Why are we wasting time?

We're all here.

Even if somebody finds the money,

nobody gets away with it...

...unless everybody gets a share.

Let's all get sensible

and get this organized.

Did you all hear what Mama said?

- Come on, Mama.

- Now, wait a minute.

Did any of you see a guy with glasses...

...with a sneery expression on his face?

This guy was ugly.

I mean, like, real ugly.

If you help dig it up,

you can have half and I'll have half.

Is that okay? I mean, is that fair?

If I have half of the money...

...I can go away somewhere

where nobody can find me.

Not Russell or my mother

or Sylvester, anybody.

You don't know what that'd mean.

If I had enough money...

...I might be able to live

in a convent or something.

- In a convent?

- Uh-huh.

We all know we're all here.

It seems intelligent to me

that we should all share...

...in one equal share apiece, right?

Right. Mel was right.

We all know that. Lookit...

- Oh, no.

- Oh, yeah. Mm-hm.

It's him, all right. Yeah!

You got this wrong.

I came to apologize.

Forgive and forget! I'm your friend.

He's so neurotic.

Can't you do something?

I'll get you.

- He's very neurotic. I'm your friend!

- When I get my hands on you...

Why, that's it.

Sure. Look!

It's the big W, I tell you!

It's the big W!

Look at this.

Look at it!

I'm sorry, Mrs. Finch.

I'm afraid it's too late.

I think they've found it.

Right here all the time!

He wasn't kidding!

- He was telling the truth!

- Folks, isn't this great?

Congratulations. Well done.

Listen, I think the big boy

should get an extra share.

After all, it was he who found it.

Yes! I insist he gets an extra share.

That's right.

He deserves an extra share.

- Well, I...

- Let's start digging.

Suppose somebody comes along.

What do we tell him?

We're here with

an anthropological expedition.

- Nah.

- We don't tell them anything!

We tell them to scram

or we beat their brains in.

It was a nice dream.

Lasted almost five minutes.

Now, don't bug me, I said.

Faster.

Come on, dig, dig.

Faster, faster.

Faster. Dig. That's it, dig.

Faster.

There's not enough room.

You two, out.

Let us do it.

Wait. There's not enough room.

You're bugging me.

- "Bugging"?

- Cut out, cut out.

What's this "cut out" talk?

- Out, baby. Out!

- Don't call me baby.

- Quit arguing!

- Will ya come on?

- What's that?

- What was that?

- That's it.

- Sounded like a chest.

I wonder what's in it.

Bring it up here!

There it is!

- It's a satchel.

- Hold it up!

- It's a satchel!

- I got it.

Open it up.

Come on!

Bingo!

I say, chaps,

shouldn't we find a spot of cover?

There's nobody around.

Come on. Count it out.

- What are we waiting for?

- Now wait a second!

Everybody's going to get something, so

no arguments. We all get equal shares!

He's right.

That's the only way to do it.

Shares for everybody.

Now, how many are we?

One, two...

...three, four, five,

six, seven, eight...

...9, 10, 11, 12, 13...

...14, 15.

15 of us. That means 15 equal shares.

You dirty double-crosser.

You cut yourself in for twice!

You can't get away with that!

Get him!

Grab him!

Get him!

You only cheated yourself

because now you're out.

Listen!

You can't cut me out now, you hear?

Not after what I've been through!

All right. Okay.

I'm warning you, if I don't get a share,

I'm going straight to the police.

- The police?

- What makes you think the police...

That money had to come from somewhere.

We know where it's from,

that poor man that died on the mountain.

You wasn't even there, so shut up.

Okay, you asked for it.

I'm going straight to the police.

You think they'd be interested,

Mr. Meyer?

Are you kidding? Isn't it obvious?

How do you think money gets...

How did you know my name?

You know this crook?

I've never met him, Mr. Pike,

but I've come to feel that I know him.

How did you know my name?

I've never met you.

Yeah, who are you?

Didn't he come with you?

He didn't come with us.

We thought he came with you.

No.

If he didn't come with us,

then who are you?

I'm Capt. Culpeper...

...of the Santa Rosita

Police Department.

- Will you come to the point?

- Yeah, I'm coming to it.

Point is, I have enough stuff

in my private files...

...stuff relating to civic building...

...road contracts,

harbor and cannery projects...

...enough stuff to put you,

the D.A., myself...

...and a two-thirds majority behind bars

for the next 20 years.

And I give you my word, that's

exactly where everybody's going...

...unless things start happening now.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes