It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World Page #3

I think they're arguing about something.

And a Crockett County unit

has got them under observation.

We give shares to everybody

and for everything.

Now, there are eight of us.

There's eight shares for that.

Then there were four vehicles.

If we give four shares for that,

that's 12 shares already.

There were five of us

who went down to the wreck.

We give five shares for that.

That makes it 17, right?

Now, 17 shares and then we add...

...the same number of shares

as people in each vehicle.

Three for your group, two for yours,

two for us, and one for you.

That adds up to 25 shares.

25 into 350,000 is $14,000 per share.

Figured like that would mean...

...you'd get three shares for being

three people, one for the car...

...one share for going down

and looking at the wreck...

...and three for being

three more people in the car.

A total of eight shares,

giving you $112,000.

That should cover everything,

including the emancipation of women.

Let's see now.

I got one share for being one person...

...one share for going down the hill,

one share for the truck...

...one share for being a person

in the truck.

But no matter how you figure it out, I

still don't get as much as anybody else.

Let me explain it once more.

Their group, they, those three of them,

they get $112,000, right?

Those over there, them,

they get $97,000.

We, us, we get $84,000.

And you, by yourself,

you get $56,000...

...alone.

- That's tax-free money.

- What do you mean, tax-free?

If we go down to this park

and we uncover the money...

I'm sure he's not going

to declare anything.

I know he's not going

to declare anything.

- I'm not going to declare...

- What are you talking about, declare it?

I mean, it's like non-taxable income.

It's like a gift.

If we find the money,

we still have to report the taxes.

Otherwise, it's like stealing

from the government.

You explain it to him, please.

Who me?

If we find the money,

there may not be taxes to pay on it...

...because we found it.

- What he was trying to say is...

- Everybody has to pay taxes.

Even businessmen that rob,

steal and cheat people every day...

...even they have to pay taxes.

I give up. Anybody got a better,

fairer plan, go ahead.

There were eight of us there,

so that simply means eight shares.

- Three for us, two for you...

- This is hopeless.

We'll get no place if we continue

listening to this old bag.

Lady, you trying to split us up

so every man's for himself?

And every woman for himself?

One more funny remark from you...

- Let's get out of here.

- Please, don't argue anymore.

We figured it 17 different ways.

Every time we figured it,

it was no good.

No matter how we figured it,

somebody didn't like it.

Now there's only one way to figure it.

And that is, every man...

...including the old bag, for himself!

- Good luck and may the best man win!

- Right!

Except you, lady.

May you just drop dead!

All right. We all agree on that.

Let's be sensible about this thing.

There's money in this for all of us.

There's enough for you.

There's enough for you...

...for me...

...and for you...

...and there's enough for...

Melville, my shoe!

Get in the car!

2-1-5-8, 2-1-6-2, four cars under

observation are passing this checkpoint.

Lead car is Plymouth station wagon.

Next, the Ford van, the Volkswagen...

...and the Chrysler Imperial

convertible, all doing about 50.

Yep, they're on their way.

All traveling

in the same direction?

Right. According to my boys...

...they're all

on reckless driving charges already.

None of those people must suspect

that anybody's interested in them.

Now, Sheriff,

will you get on to Capt. Hardesty...

...and see how many helicopters

he can let us have?

I'll see what we can do

and I'll call you back.

Now, where have I always told you

that the Smiler hid the dough?

- I know.

- Where?

- Right there.

- That's right, yeah.

If these merrymakers

decide to go for it...

...they'll go to the crossroads

and turn south.

But why did Smiler head east

when he made his break...

...if the money is down here somewhere?

Oh!

Aloysius, the guy is just being clever.

You can't...

5 will get you 10...

...they turn south at the crossroads.

- You got yourself a bet.

"Mount Shasta National Forest."

Are we near...

That's on the top!

Look down near the bottom.

- Are we near Oregon?

- That's 700 miles from here.

Don't pass it!

You'll lose your license.

We've got the Imperial

and we're running last?

I can't pass them on the curves.

Go on. Go ahead. Look, there's a space!

You waiting for an engraved invitation?

Get over!

Get over to the side

where you belong!

I said it before and I'll say it again.

I didn't want to move to California.

- Did you find it yet?

- I can't find it anywhere.

Take the wheel. Give me the map.

Take the wheel! Give me the map.

It must be here.

Right over here. Valley Center!

It's right here.

There's an airfield not far...

Get it off your face!

- Get it off me!

- Don't go in there!

Swing over! Watch out!

- Take it off.

- Get it off!

I've had enough.

- They're going to hire airplanes.

- Never mind. Go!

- But they'll be there hours before...

- I said never mind. Let's go!

Nobody's getting me up in the air.

I wanted to be reasonable,

give them reasonable shares.

No. They wanted every man for himself.

I'm going to show them

what kind of man they're dealing with.

It's stalled, Benjy.

We got dust in the carburetor.

When the people who own this see this,

I sure hate to think...

Never mind.

Here's the bike.

Get to the nearest phone

and hire the best car you can find.

But this is a girl's bike.

This is for a little girl.

I've got to get this stuff back

so I can lock up the van.

We'll put everything away.

Will you get going? Hurry.

Okay.

I got to admit...

...I feel kind of silly.

You know what I mean?

Will you take us or won't you?

For $250, I guess I will.

You take care of the plane.

We'll leave our car here till tomorrow.

- I'll give you a check.

- Check?

Traveler's check from

the Bank of America. Don't worry.

- Oh, boy.

- Hey!

Are you a pilot?

Is there a plane around?

Right both times.

Where's an airplane? I don't see any.

There's only one. We've chartered it.

- So you and your friend...

- Did you make a deal with them?

- Right.

- Where can we charter another plane?

- Nearest place is North Valley.

- Where's that?

Other side of Valley Center,

about 12 miles, 15 miles.

- Excuse us.

- Filibuster, filibuster.

You can stick around

and watch us take off.

Listen, dentist. I hate dentists.

I hate you so much, I'm not able to tell

you how much in front of your wife.

Vice versa.

Come on over here! Come on!

Good morning.

- Good morning.

- Had an accident?

- Anyone hurt?

- No, but we've got to get to a phone.

Can you give us a lift?

Of course, I should be

absolutely delighted.

Upsy-daisy. I'm afraid you

caught me on the hub there.

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