It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World Page #5
We don't do charters.
Nobody here can take you.
- That belongs to Mr. Tyler Fitzgerald.
He isn't going anywhere today.
- Is he here? Can we see him?
- Mr. Fitzgerald's in the billiard room.
- He's asleep. Nobody can talk to him.
- Can we ask him a question?
No, you can't.
Hello? Wait a minute!
Come on, Benjy.
That must be Mr. Fitzgerald over there!
- You can't disturb Mr. Fitzgerald!
- We just want to talk to him.
- Let him rest, please.
- Hello.
- Sh!
- Don't shush me!
We're trying to talk to him.
Wake up, won't you please?
I think he's got a cold.
Mr. Fitzgerald, listen. Please, sir.
We hate to disturb your sleep,
but it's an emergency.
You've no right to crash in here.
That's a head cold.
Mr. Fitzgerald,
you know where Rosita Beach is?
- Only you can get us there.
- It's a matter of life and death.
Right, a matter of life and death.
- It's our grandmother. She's dying.
- Who's dying?
Our grandmother is dying
and she's sent for us.
She's in Rosita Beach.
She's dying and we're up here.
She'd like us with her when she goes.
Otherwise, she won't go.
- She'll go.
- Sir, they forced their way in here.
No, we didn't. Let me introduce myself.
I'm Dingy Bell. This is Benjy Benjamin.
- How do you do?
- Don't start with that!
Sir, we'd like you to help us out
by taking us down...
- What's the matter?
- Wait just a minute.
I can't see!
Something's happened to my eyes.
I can't see!
You can't see? He can't see.
- Must be an eye cold.
- George, I can't see.
- One minute, Mr. Fitzgerald.
- I can't see! George!
George!
Mr. Fitzgerald!
We want to make sure
he doesn't get loose.
I'll kill that dirty rotten bum...
...if I get my hands on him.
What's the matter?
How come I'm tied up like this?
Just sit there.
Everything will be all right.
Yeah. Friends are coming
to take care of you.
What friends?
What are you talking about?
Get this stuff off me. Turn me loose.
Take it easy. You've been sick.
Who's been sick?
And where's that bum with the glasses?
Now just sit still,
because the doctor is going...
What doctor? I don't know no doctor.
What are you guys, crazy or something?
I'm warning you.
Get this stuff off me, you understand?
- Get this stuff off me!
I'm warning you!
I'm going to have to hit you again.
Ow!
My arm! You broke my arm!
You keep this up
and I'm going to get sore.
Okay. That's the way you want it,
that's the way you're going to get it.
- I'll kill you!
- Whoo!
- Help! He's ruining our place!
- Come on, Ray!
- You better get out of here, mister!
- Leave us alone!
- Uh-huh. There you are.
- What are we going to do?
Dr. Zillman! Dr. Zillman!
Help! Put me down!
Put me down immediately!
- That's the way you want it?
- Help! Help!
- Are you all right?
- I'm fine.
You're getting out of line. I'm not
kidding. I've had all I can take.
Irwin, we'll have to kill him.
- Ready?
- Ready.
- Set?
- Set.
Charge!
He's going nuts! He's really nuts!
- Go away!
- You'd better get out of here!
I mean it, I don't want to...
What'll we do?
Go away!
Go, baby, go!
Ah, yeah!
Don't stop! Go!
Whoo!
He's got to be home.
He never gets up this early.
Why doesn't he answer?
I hope you won't mind my asking,
but what sort of chap...
...is this brother-in-law of yours?
He's a nut. Why?
I hope he's nothing like
my brother-in-law. Peculiar chap.
Secretary of a golf club
out near Pangbourne.
So what about him?
I was thinking that if Reggie,
my brother-in-law...
If Reggie got hold of information
like this information...
the last time...
...anyone would ever see or hear
of dear old Reggie.
I doubt very much whether old Reggie
will be waiting for us in Santa Rosita.
Cheers.
Tyler! Tyler's probably
still in the shower.
Tyler! There he is! Tyler!
- Tyler!
- You promised!
Hey! I'll wake him up. Tyler!
- Tyler!
- Huh? Huh?!
Wake up! Come on now!
- Get out of here!
- Wait!
Ah!
Mr. Fitzgerald!
You think I'll sit still
while some un-American foreigner...
...makes accusations about
my own flesh and blood?
We'll see about that. Stop this car!
- Really, madam.
- Mother, this is awful!
- So we'll see!
- Mother, what are you doing?
You don't trust your brother-in-law?
Let me tell you something.
If my boy is out, then everybody is out.
So we'll see.
We don't even own the car
and you have no right to do what you do.
Rights? You talk to me about rights?
Mother...
You address me on the subject of rights?
Trouble? Having any trouble?
Yes! And we don't need
any help from you.
Well!
- Mother, please.
- Ah!
With all due respect, this is too much.
Give Mr. Hawthorne the keys
or we'll never get there.
Too bad.
Madam, I must say I find your attitude
somewhat less than helpful.
And what's all this got to do with you,
if you don't mind telling me?
If we have quite decided
to withdraw from this affair...
...you might be expected to hand me back
my keys so that I could press on.
You keep out of this!
Are we calling Sylvester or not?
No!
We are not. And I'll tell you why.
Because your son, Sylvester...
...is an irresponsible, unreliable,
big loudmouth, no-good bum...
...who, if he isn't a crook,
it's only because...
...he hasn't got the brains or ambition
even to become a crook.
Good show!
If you want to come, you can.
If you don't want to, you don't have to.
But you've got to give us those keys or
you'll force us to take them from you!
Here, here.
Give us those keys.
Give us those keys.
I don't care where you have them.
I'll get them.
- How dare you.
- Give us those keys.
- You take one more step towards me...
- I'll take another step.
I'm warning you.
You're gonna be sorry!
- Give me the keys.
- You're gonna get it, but good!
- Ah!
- Oof!
- Emmeline!
- Emmeline, stay in the car!
Grab her!
Russell, don't! Mother!
- Put me down!
- Must be stuck.
Russell, you wouldn't.
You couldn't! You shouldn't!
Let me go! Let me get out of here!
I got 'em! Here they are.
We really didn't want to do it.
But that was the only way. Upsy-daisy.
Don't hit him. Ow!
Madam, please! Please!
I'm willing to say I'm sorry,
but you forced us.
- Do us a favor and get back in the car.
- Get away from me! Don't you touch me!
- We had to do it. You saw it, honey.
- Russell, let me go.
Just wait.
You can't manhandle a decent woman.
You're going to jail!
You'll be arrested for assault.
I'm going to sue for everything you've
got. Take your hands off my daughter!
I say, if we are going,
we really must get cracking.
Russell, how could you?
- You know we had to...
- Mr. Finch!
Please don't go. We'll be right
with you. See, she made us do it.
and be reasonable.
- Please get back in the car.
- Not me!
We are wasting so much time.
Give me the keys.
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"It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/it's_a_mad,_mad,_mad,_mad_world_11049>.
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