It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World Page #8

- Blood.

- It certainly is.

Come back here, you blimey...

You want to play dirty, huh? Okay!

Foul! Foul!

You're not much good...

...without that horrible

mother-in-law of yours, are you?

Ow!

Come on. Fight!

You thought you had me, didn't you?

I'll kill you. I swear!

No, stop, please! No, please.

- Hello. Hello there.

- Don't shut the motor off!

I'm not shutting anything off!

Hello, anybody! Can anybody hear me?

- I can hear you!

- I don't care if you hear me!

Look, I wanna be...

- I don't know whether we're on the air.

- Mayday. Call mayday!

Mayday! Mayday, we're up here!

Can you hear us? Help!

- Benjy, say something.

- Help! Ah!

Hello? Billie Sue?

- Billie Sue, where are you?

- I'm at the bus station.

I only called because

Mommy said I absolutely...

Now, sweetie, what are you doing

in the bus station?

I'm waiting for the bus.

Your wife's on the other phone.

Ginger?

I've got Billie Sue on the other line.

Billie Sue, wait one minute, will you?

- Ginger?

- I'm here.

Can you hear Billie Sue?

She's crying.

Billie Sue!

She's in the bus station

and she's crying,

but she's waiting for you to tell her.

- Billie Sue!

- Are you listening?

Billie?

- Are you listening to your mother?

- Your mother is speaking.

- Listen to your mother, sweetie.

- Billie Sue!

Billie Sue! Listen to your mother!

Everything that's happened

to my daughter and me today...

...only happened for one reason:

Because you were too stupid...

...to look where you were going,

and wrecked our car!

Oh, yeah?

You either get out of that truck

or I'm going to throw you out.

Don't get upset.

You're not going to do anything.

Drive on, you big, stupid idiot.

Mommy, don't worry.

Your baby's coming to save you!

Oh! Mr. Pike! Mr. Pike, please!

- Let me go! Get away from me!

- That isn't nice a bit!

Mother!

Help me!

That's what I'm here for.

That's why you had me, to save you.

Help me! Ah!

Emmeline! Ah!

Yeah, yeah.

It's practically burned through.

Just a couple blows

with the sledgehammer and we're out.

Ah!

Eh...

Hey! Wait a minute!

I can't cross here!

You said the main road.

This is Niagara Falls.

All right, look. You're a little boy.

If you want to be a big boy,

which way to the main road?

Don't!

It's no! The answer is no.

He won't back any increase in pensions.

He won't even talk about it.

There won't be any increase in pensions.

Do you know why?

Because they got a solid majority...

...of Republicans and Democrats

who've agreed...

...that if anything

is said about pensions,

they'll actually reduce your pension!

Why? Because they know

that you personally...

...were more responsible than anybody

else for closing down the houses.

Could I do anything?

Would he listen to me?

Ha! All right.

So you're an honest cop...

...and you've spent a lifetime

being an honest cop...

...and you've got that,

and that's all you've got!

It's no good saying I'm sorry.

I'm too angry and sick at my stomach

to be sorry.

You're not listening

to what I'm saying.

That's the trouble with this family.

- Melville, I smell something burning.

- Ah...

- Oh!

- Whoa!

We're on fire! Come over here.

Come on. This way.

Go down. Now. Go.

Hurry up!

Put it out!

I don't know how! Get something!

- The extinguishers.

- Get one!

- What'll I do?

- Use it!

Not on me! On the fire!

It's too deep!

This is a car, not a canoe!

Come on! It's easy!

If I don't get out of here...

Why? Why?

All right! Here I come!

It's too deep!

It's too deep, you little rat fink!

Why didn't you tell me it was...

What do I...

Don't stand there!

Get somebody! Don't...

This is no place for a convertible!

I'll get you.

I'm bleeding, Emmeline!

Look! I'm bleeding!

Mama!

What did they do to my Mama?

Ow! Ooh!

Benjy!

It's your father's fault.

- The whole thing is your father's fault.

- Mommy.

It's your father's fault.

What's the matter, Chief?

Something wrong?

- You know as well as I do...

- Listen and stop yelling!

Stop it, Billie.

Billie, you're not listening.

Now stop it. Stop it, Monica!

It's only two pieces of small dynamite.

And they're 70 feet away

in the other room.

This is a strong counter.

We can't possibly get hurt from there.

Please, go and stop it.

Stamp on it or something.

- You know I hate explosions.

- It's perfectly all right.

I just want to blow a small hole

in the wall, then we'll be out of here.

Something's happened to the fuse.

- What could possibly...

- Hold it. Sh!

Listen.

The fuse has gone out.

I can't hear it anymore.

- Stay down. Don't get up.

- I just want to take a look, okay?

Huh! Now I see.

It's the fire extinguisher stuff.

The fire extinguisher stuff got

on the fuse and put it out.

Melville, don't go in there.

You'll be killed.

- You'll be blown to bits.

- Monica, for heaven's sake.

I just want to take a look!

Why do you always imagine

I can't do things for myself?

Don't you think I got any sense at all?

Why can't you have

a little confidence in me?

Sh! Sh! Sh!

- I'll never be bad again!

- Whoever said you could fly?

What do ya want from me?

How long I been flying?

- Keep it going!

- Can't you talk to that radio?

Hello, anybody on the ground!

On the ground, anybody!

Can you hear us?

- Stand back!

- Everybody, stand back.

Stand back, folks. Folks, stand back.

This is Rancho Conejo Tower.

Do you hear me?

- We don't know who they are.

- This is Rancho Conejo Tower.

Aircraft calling Rancho Conejo Tower,

this is Rancho Conejo Tower.

I got 'em!

I got 'em!

Hello, down there on the ground.

This is us in the air. We're in trouble!

An awful jam. Listen. Hello?

I think I lost them.

Wait a minute.

You're not using the set the right way.

You press your switch in to transmit.

When it's released, you're on receive.

Can you understand me?

This is Rancho Conejo Tower.

- Where are you and who are you? Over.

- I know how to work it, Benjy!

I know how to work it.

Hello, down on the ground.

This is us in the air.

We're in this fella's plane.

He knocked himself out...

...because he drank a whole case

of bourbon and hit his head.

What do we do?

The switch, let go of the switch!

If you can,

give us your position.

Who's flying the plane? Over.

Whaddya mean, "Who's flying the plane?"

Nobody's flying the plane!

Sir? Tower here. Emergency.

Tell him it's a full emergency.

We'll try and talk 'em down.

Full emergency.

We'll try and talk 'em down.

It's a Twin Beech.

I saw one here this morning.

Who's got a Twin Beech?

It's that Col. Wilberforce.

He was at maintenance.

If he's still there, get him over here.

Now listen. Don't talk, just listen.

We're getting things under control,

so you can take it easy.

We know what kind of a plane you're in.

We're making necessary preparations

to talk you down.

Rancho Conejo over.

Rancho Conejo tower, listen,

we can't land this thing!

We're in real trouble. Over!

You'll be perfectly all right

as long as you follow instructions.

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