It's a Wonderful Afterlife Page #4

You can't change your mind.

It's not fair on all of us.

But if I go she will have

no father or mother.

Her younger brother

can't help get her married.

You should have thought of that

before you put air con in me.

Be quiet, she said sorry.

Can't you understand?

No mother wants to die

without seeing her daughter married.

LOUD SQUELCHES:

Eurgh!

I don't think we can wait

for someone that desperate

to come along.

MUFFLED:

You two shut up!

Only a mother can know

what another mother feels.

We should help her.

That's right.

I'm sorry, Linda.

I'm really happy for you.

It's just that...

this week would have been

my wedding

had it all worked out with Tej.

And now you'll be having

the big Indian wedding

that my mother

always dreamed of for me.

And I'll never find another man

who'll love me.

Shh.

Don't be crazy, Roops.

Of course you will.

I was fine about it.

But when that police guy brought

him up, it brought it all back.

He was right.

I was dumped.

I didn't do anything wrong.

That's just it.

You didn't do anything wrong.

He just turned out to be

a spineless git

who let his family dictate

who he should marry.

No, let's face it.

I wasn't good enough.

And they thought he could do better.

And my poor mum still keeps

trying to get me hooked up,

even though people don't want to go

near me because I'm tainted goods.

Shh. No, it's not true.

GASPS:

What?

I made five ladoos.

There are only four.

Roopi, did you eat something?

No, Mum.

Oh, Mum, Mrs Goldman came by

to pick something up.

KEBAB WOMAN:
And the note.

Throw the note away.

PANICKED CHATTER

Oh.

What?

ALL GASP:

Oh, no.

SIREN WAILS:

I don't believe it.

I just don't believe it.

A third granny killed in her home.

And this one isn't even Indian.

What the hell is going on here,

Smythe?

We're analysing the Indian sweet.

This is another link

that points to the neighbours.

They were close to her.

Why would they kill her?

Leave that to me, Murthy. I need you

to focus on the Sethi daughter,

since you seem to be well in there.

What?

Murthy here has

a special relationship

with one of my suspects, Chief.

Good.

Let's use that.

You're going undercover.

Looks like you've got yourself

a girlfriend to take care of.

RABBI PRAYING:

SHOVELS DIGGING:

Who are you people?

Call this funeral attire?

It's a long story.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please return to the prayer hall

for the conclusion of the service.

All right, man?

I wish you long life.

These folks can't see me, can they?

No.

Then what am I?

A spirit.

I'm a spirit.

MILO WHIMPERS:

And Milo, too? How did we die?

Ask Mrs Sethi.

I thought they couldn't hear me.

Only she can.

Why's that?

Better ask her yourself.

Story's getting longer.

Poor Ari.

Who'll look after my son now?

I will.

You really can hear me.

Yes.

I'm sorry.

For what?

You ate a poisoned ladoo I made.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to kill you.

But she meant to kill all of us.

ALL AGREE:

She killed all of you?

ALL:
Mm-hm.

And me?

And Milo, too?

My goodness.

What's got into you, love?

You know how hard I've tried

to find a suitable match for Roopi?

No mother could have done

more than you.

They were all horrible to her.

And I couldn't take it any more.

But you shouldn't be here.

You were always so nice to Roopi.

Well, I always said

your cooking was so good

it was going to kill me one day.

The poisoned ladoo was for me.

I was supposed to eat it and die

so they could all be reincarnated.

Oh, that's right. You said when

we die we'll be reincarnated.

Maybe Abe and I will come back

as birds flying

through the sky together.

We always wanted to travel but

he died a month after he retired.

No-one is flying anywhere

until she's dead.

And she won't kill herself

until her jumbo daughter is married.

Is this true, love?

I just need to know that Roopi

is happily married.

And Jazz?

He's a boy, it's different.

He's happy with his music.

But his sister's not happy.

I don't want her

to live this life alone.

Once she has someone

then I can move on with all of you.

Wait a minute. This is wonderful.

This is our chance to do a good

deed. Roopi is a lovely girl.

If we can help her,

it'll help us come back as something

better in our next life.

I'm sure we've all done things

we're not proud of.

She's done us a favour.

She's given us another chance.

I still don't see why we have

to help her when she killed us.

I for one can't bear to see

Roopi cry like that again.

Trust me, you need good deeds fast.

You want to come back

new and improved, don't you?

Maybe you'll come back and have

one happy marriage for life.

OK, OK, if finding moto a husband

is the only way we get out of here

then I'm in.

Mazel tov.

BHANGRA MUSIC:

# Oh baby

# Don't break my heart

# Don't break my heart

Cos I've been waiting

# You're listening

Don't break my heart

# Oh baby

# Don't break my heart

# Don't break my heart

Cos I've been waiting

# For a long, long time

# Baby girl

# Baby girl

# Baby

# You're listening

Don't break my heart

# If you want to look

you want to know them... #

OK, try to find out

what kind of man she likes.

Don't beat about the bush,

just ask her.

Use guilt. You're her mother,

it's your right.

Beti, I'm just saying if

you were wanting to get married...

Mum!

If we're going to go on walks

together it's a marriage-free zone.

Ask me about work.

Where I want to travel.

Who I'm voting for.

Anything except for marriage

all the time.

Of course I'd like to meet someone.

I'm not as beautiful as Linda.

And that's why we're doomed.

You know, there's nothing

wrong with being single.

A lot of women are happy that way

their whole lives.

HORRIFIED GASPS:

MUFFLED SOUNDS:

GASPS:

Now we are truly in purgatory.

Chupa. Mrs Sethi,

you're worse than my wife.

It is your duty

to find her a husband now.

We should go to a marriage bureau,

it's the fastest way.

That didn't do much for

our daughter.

I'm not going to interfere.

I have told her.

Mum, who are you talking to?

I'm sorry, beti.

I'm listening to you.

Mum, I don't mean

to have a go at you.

I just don't understand why you

can't let this marriage thing go.

You've got to stop.

You'll make yourself crazy.

There is only one reason

I did what I did.

Hmm?

I mean do what I do.

Roopi.

I want you to know the same

happiness I shared with your father.

The way he looked after me.

Then how he we both felt when I held

you in my arms for the first time.

And then your brother.

I don't want you to miss out

on this joy.

You'll grow another heart

with every child.

And there isn't anything

you wouldn't do for them.

Mum, if you really want to know,

there's nothing I want more

than to have a baby.

I dream about it all the time.

But my fear is that

I'll never meet that right person

and I'll end up settling

for someone.

Because if I don't...

I may never meet anyone

who'll want me.

Chup...

don't even think like that.

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