It's Complicated Page #8

rocking the boat at home.

Well, you're rocking my boat

now. And I don't like it!

- Honey, don't let one night...

- You don't understand.

I'm not... I'm not even blaming

you. I fully participated in this.

But I just don't

want to do it anymore.

The last thing

in the whole world

I should be right now

is your mistress.

Sitting around at 9:00 at

night, wearing heels and perfume

and blowing all

the candles out

and wrapping

everything in Saran Wrap

because your wife

canceled her plans.

It was just...

It was... humiliating.

You lit candles?

Shut up.

Look, I've had a pretty good

life these past 10 years.

I have figured it out.

I no longer feel alone or

divorced. I just feel normal.

You know how long it took me

to get that balance back?

- No.

- No.

Well, I'm going in

the wrong direction here.

You know,

the worst part is,

it feels like

it used to feel.

All the little

untruths that...

Hard to catch,

but they mount up.

Janey, come on.

It was one mistake.

No, it's...

Everything okay out here?

- Kids are getting hungry.

JANE:
Yeah.

We're done.

We were just...

Oh, Jane, it's none

of my beeswax, so...

(SOFTLY)

Please don't tell me.

What's up?

- Nothing, punky.

LAUREN:
Yeah?

So we're gonna see you

tomorrow night for sure, right?

JAKE:
Absolutely.

What did you see

and what do you know?

- Nothing. Really.

- Harley!

Okay, he checked in,

then you arrived.

Then you met at the elevator,

possible kiss there.

Then the doctor went up

and the doctor came down.

Then there was a thumbs-up,

but that's it.

I have no idea what

happened in between.

Have you told Lauren?

No, and I won't.

Hey, Mom. Dad's leaving.

Looking good.

Oh, sorry. Wow.

Yes, it's so good.

- Mom, it looks beautiful.

- Thank you.

LAUREN:
Yes, it does.

Hey, Dad,

thanks for picking me up.

Yeah. Bye.

JANE:

...overdone it a little?

GABBY:
Just a little bit!

(ALL CHATTERING)

(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)

Yeah.

(INAUDIBLE)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Hey.

Hey.

You look fantastic.

I'm feeling

a little fantastic.

This is for you.

Really? Thank you!

Come on in.

Wow. That's so...

Mmm. Will you

hold that for a sec?

Oh, my God!

Mmm. Mmm.

Could be the best cake I

ever made. You want a piece?

It's beyond.

I think I'm good.

Okay. Can't believe you

brought me a gift. So nice!

An appointment book.

I sort of assumed

you didn't have one.

Because I never

remember our...

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Oh!

- I took the liberty of marking

our next two appointments

with Post-it notes.

And I wrote the...

Wrote it in red.

Mmm-hmm.

And highlighted them

in neon yellow.

- Thank you.

- Because I thought that was a...

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I'm not.

Wow. That cake is good.

(LAUGHING)

I get it!

JANE:
So, let me

ask you a question.

Please don't think that I'm

weird or out of line or anything.

But do you by any

chance poke smot?

Do I... Do I what?

I mean, do you smoke pot?

Oh.

I haven't asked

anyone that question

since I was 22.

Mmm, no, I don't.

But I have. Uh, but I don't think

I've had any since my kids were born,

so not like in 27 years.

Oh, my God!

Our kids are the same age.

And I haven't had any since

my kids were born either.

Except for tonight.

I had one hit from this!

(CHATTERING

O VER POLICE RADIO)

You might not wanna

hold that up quite so...

I actually know him.

Blueberry scone and a latte.

Oh. Hi.

Hi.

Oh, my God.

That was horrifying.

I instantly saw myself

in a mug shot.

My heart is...

leaping out of my...

Wow. That's the most

insane dashboard I ever saw.

It's like we're in a

cockpit. Spectacular!

Adam, what kind

of car is this?

Uh, Jane.

Hi.

Did you get this high

from one hit?

Yes! I don't know what they've

done to pot in the last 30 years,

but it rocks!

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(GUESTS CHATTERING)

Just don't take too much,

because it's really strong.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

I haven't had fun in

almost three years, Jane.

Bring it on.

Who's got the reefer?

(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)

No one. Keep walking, please.

(GIGGLING)

How are you feeling?

- Totally fine.

- Me, too.

(GASPS)

Hi!

Oh! I love your dress!

Hey, Harls.

Harls? Uh-oh.

Adam, this is my

oldest, Lauren.

Hi.

And her fianc Harley.

Right.

We're on a date.

(BOTH SNICKERING)

(ROCK SONG PLAYING)

MAN:
(SINGING)

The one good thing

In my life

Has gone away

I don't know why

She's gone away

I don't know where

Somewhere I can't

follow her

You got to come

meet them.

I need to go.

- Hey, nice to meet you. Bye.

- Nice meeting you.

We're gonna

get some drinks.

It was really nice

to meet you.

ADAM:
Bye.

Adorable.

Thanks.

By the way,

how great is this party?

- It's great!

- Let's be the last to leave.

- (LAUGHING) Okay.

- Oh!

Hey, there's

your ex-husband.

Uh-oh, and he's headed

right toward us.

Oh, what?

Not a great time to

be feeling groovy.

Ooh, why so intense,

big fella?

(LAUGHING) Hi.

- Hello, Jane.

- Hi.

Hey!

Adam.

Good to see you again.

Hi.

Adam, this is Agness,

Jake's wife.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Ah! That's... That's

such an odd sentence

for me to say since that

was me for most of my life.

I mean, seriously.

How weird is that?

Both of us married

to the same man!

Hey. What are

you gonna do?

Yeah. Why go there?

Because there...

it's fascinating!

I mean,

if you think about it,

it sort of links us

in a sort of cosmic,

crazy way.

Doesn't it, Agness?

I mean, of all the men

on the planet,

we both said

"I do" to this guy!

Oh, wow!

Yeah, 25 years apart.

I know you are having,

like, an aha moment,

but I think I'm gonna get a

refill. Adam, good meeting you.

Great meeting you.

Ah, ha-ha.

(LAUGHING)

Thank you.

She has a really

scary tattoo.

Janey, could I talk

to you for a quick sec?

He always needs me

for a quick sec.

Uh, are you okay?

Oh, I'm very okay.

What's going on?

You're acting insane.

I'm stoned.

What?

You smoked that joint

I gave you?

Yeah. You told me to.

It was amazing.

Well, you weren't supposed

to smoke it with him,

you were supposed

to smoke it with me!

Ooh, somebody's jealous.

Well, yes, of course. Why

shouldn't I be? You're my...

What? What am I, Jake?

You're my

ex-wife, lover...

Hmm.

...oldest friend,

girlfriend.

Okay, you are hilarious.

And because of that, even though

I kind of hate youllove you,

I'm gonna let you

have some of this.

You love me?

I mean, I heard "hate"

had top billing, but...

Oh, my God. Are you smoking

weed in the guest bathroom?

Yes, we are.

And we'd appreciate it if you

would not tell anybody about this.

No, never.

Just add it to the list.

- Care for a toke?

- No.

I don't smoke marijuana.

- Me neither.

- Okay, one hit.

- Okay.

- All right.

(LAUGHING) Oh, my God!

Is that what I look like?

Oh, man!

(COUGHING)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(EXCLAIMING)

I love this. Turn it up.

(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)

They must be hammered.

Something like that.

(COUGHING)

Sweetest divorced couple

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