It's Kind of a Funny Story

EXT. BROOKLYN STREET - NIGHT

CRAIG GILNER (16, handsome, but awkward) glides on his biketoward the Brooklyn Bridge. He is the only one on thestreets. A rhythmic beating heart is the only sound we hear.

BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM

The heartbeat increases in pace as Craig nears the bridge.

EXT. BROOKLYN BRIDGE PEDESTRIAN PATH

We float behind Craig as he approaches the bridge’s firsttower. Craig is still the only person there.

BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM

He arrives at the tower, steps off his bike, and looks outover the East River.

BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM

He climbs up onto a steel girder. Walks to the edge, overthe speeding traffic below, then out over the water.

BADOOMBADOOMBADOOMBADOOM

SILENCE...

LYNN (O.S.)

Craig!?

Craig looks behind him to find his mother (LYNN, early 40s),

father (GEORGE, mid 40s), and little sister (ALYSSA, 8) allstanding by his bike.

LYNN:

What were you planning to do with yourbike, honey?!

CRAIG:

I don’t care about my bike! I’m

killing myself!

GEORGE:

But we spent a lot of money on thatbike, Sport! We only ask that you takecare of it!

ALYSSA:

Think of me, Craig! I might want thatbike when I grow up!

CRAIG:

I’m sorry, I just didn’t think-

LYNN:

That’s right, honey, you weren’tthinking of us when you decided to dothis, were you?

GEORGE:

Pretty selfish, I’d say. Have youthought about how this might affectyour sister?

ALYSSA:

I’ll be traumatized for life.

Craig stares at his family for a beat.

CRAIG:

I’m sorry, I--

A CAR HORN BLARES and Craig flinches, blinded by the oncomingheadlights. He loses his footing on the thin metal plank.

He SLIPS AND FALLS as his family watches in horror.

CRAIG’S POV:
hurling down toward the water below. At the

moment before impact, the frame FREEZES a few feet above thewater-

CRAIG (V.O.)

This is the moment where I usually wakeup in a sweaty panic.

ANGLE ON CRAIG’S anguished face frozen in time.

CRAIG (V.O.)

But for some reason... this time was

different-

The POV frame resumes action and Craig plunges into thewater.

TITLE:
“IT’S KIND OF A FUNNY STORY”

EXT. ARGENON HOSPITAL - DAWN

Craig locks his bike to a rack in front of an illuminatedemergency room sign. He turns towards the hospital.

Overhead the sky is illuminated by a pre-dawn glow.

SUPER:
“SUNDAY: DAY 1”

INT. EMERGENCY ROOM

Craig wanders into the bright, fluorescent-lit room,

approaches the NURSE at the registration desk.

CRAIG:

Hi... I want to kill myself.

Unphased, the nurse hands him a clipboard.

NURSE:

Fill this out, please.

INT. EMERGENCY ROOM WAITING AREA - NOT MUCH LATER

Craig waits near an ear-infected KID, when his attention

shifts to the sliding doors. A man, dressed in blue doctor’sscrubs, saunters in with a cup of coffee, takes a seat(unusually close) next to Craig. He is BOBBY (late 30s, semi-

balding).

Craig does his best to ignore him, until...

BOBBY:

Hey.

Craig turns to him. Upon closer inspection, he appears a bittoo disheveled to be a doctor or nurse. He looks at Craigwith an unhinged intensity.

BOBBY:

You gotta cigarette?

CRAIG:

Uh... no. Sorry.

BOBBY:

What’s wrong with you?

CRAIG:

I just don’t smoke.

BOBBY:

No, I mean why are you in the E.R. atfive o’clock on a Sunday morning?

CRAIG:

(hesitant)

Well, um, there’s been a lot going onin my head lately.

BOBBY:

Go on.

CRAIG:

Okay, well, um... I don’t really knowhow to describe it. Like there’s a

girl...

BOBBY:

Yes.

CRAIG:

And, you know, this summer schoolapplication I’ve been nervous about.

BOBBY:

Summer school.

CRAIG:

Yeah, it’s like this super prestigious-

BOBBY:

--Why would you want to spend yoursummer in school?

Craig stares at Bobby for a beat.

BOBBY:

You should be at Coney Island birddogging chicks on the beach.

CRAIG:

Are you a doctor?

BOBBY:

What do you think?

CRAIG:

You don’t really seem like a doctor.

BOBBY:

Ever heard of Doogie Howser?

Craig stares at Bobby, trying to make sense of the question.

BOBBY:

(standing up)

I hope they fix whatever’s wrong with

you.

CRAIG:

Thanks.

Bobby stalks off, disappears around a corner.

INT. E.R. DOCTOR’S OFFICE - LATER

DR. ISAIAH MAHMOUD, an E.R. resident (Indian, early 30s)

takes Craig’s blood pressure.

DR. MAHMOUD

How long have you been feeling

suicidal?

CRAIG:

I don’t know... I’ve been depressedfor about a year now. Thought about ita few times, but never like this.

Never so... real.

DR. MAHMOUD

Did anything specific happen today thatmight have triggered these feelings?

Slight PUSH IN on Craig...

CRAIG (V.O.)

Sometimes I wish I had an easy answerfor why I’m depressed. My father beat

me. Or I was sexually abused. But

none of that stuff has ever happened to

me... It was just a normal Saturday.

INT. AARON’S BEDROOM - EARLIER THAT DAY

Craig and his friends lounge around the room, listening toAaron’s record collection. There is: AARON (not particularlygood-looking, but supremely self-confident), his girlfriendNIA (an ultra-hip, tightly-clad cutie), RONNY (a 1990s hip-

hop throwback), and SCUGGS (jew-fro).

Ronny coughs, exhaling smoke, and passes a joint to Aaron,

who cuddles next to Nia on the bed. Everyone talksanimatedly, except for Craig, who stares at Nia, longingly.

RONNY:

He practically had to strip search meto find it. It's like, dude, you're asecurity guard at a rock concert. Whyare you taking your job so seriously?

NIA:

He probably just wanted some free weed.

AARON:

How much did they get?

RONNY:

An eighth. But it was worth it. APW

was the bomb.

AARON:

It was pretty jokes... But oh-eight wasoff the hook.

CRAIG:

I need to go.

AARON:

What-- you’re leaving? I didn’t even

play Saucerful of Secrets yet.

CRAIG:

Yeah, I just...

SCUGGS:

Don’t bug Craig. He’s in the Craig

zone.

RONNY:

Yeah, he’s Craig-ing out!

They all laugh. Craig forces a chuckle.

EXT. BROOKLYN BRIDGE - DAY

Craig rides his bike over the bridge, stops to answer hisphone.

CRAIG:

Hey...

INT. AARON’S BEDROOM - DAY

Nia playfully pushes Aaron off her.

NIA:

Hey Craig. I forgot to ask you tocover for me tonight, in case myparents call or whatever.

CRAIG:

Oh... You’re staying over Aaron’s?

NIA:

I told them there was some school sleep

over. They’re a little suspicious, sothey might call.

CRAIG:

No problem.

Craig hangs up, looks out over the East River.

INT. CRAIG’S DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Craig’s family sits around the table for dinner.

GEORGE:

Hey there, Craigers. How’s the

Franklin Gates application coming

along?

Craig stares at his dad for a beat, then VOMITS on the table.

ALYSSA:

Gross.

Craig’s parents look to him, concerned.

CRAIG:

(to Lynn)

I’m sorry.

LYNN:

(with Dr. Mahmoud’s voice)

Craig? Anything you can think of thatmay have set you off?

INT. ARGENON HOSPITAL - E.R. DOCTOR’S OFFICE - PRESENT

Dr. Mahmoud waits for an answer.

CRAIG:

Um... no. Nothing unusual.

DR. MAHMOUD

Are you taking any medication?

CRAIG:

Zoloft. But I stopped.

DR. MAHMOUD

Did your doctor take you off the

medication?

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