It's Kind of a Funny Story Page #13

CRAIG:

My parents, I think. And my sister.

Knowing how bad it would mess them up.

BOBBY:

I don’t get you, Craig. Young. Smart.

Talented. A family loves you. I don’t

get it. What I wouldn’t give to be

you. Just for a day. I would do so

much. Just to feel like... you know...

there was a future worth living for.

Like out there was actually a betterlife than in here. I would do so much.

Just live. Like it meant something...

Bobby shoots, misses.

BOBBY:

Screw it. Let’s get outta here.

Bobby heads for the exit. Craig watches him for a beat, thenfollows.

INT. THREE NORTH - NURSES STATION - LATER

Dressed in their normal attire, Craig and Bobby stroll downthe hall towards the nurse’s station. Bobby hands Smitty thefolded doctors’ scrubs.

BOBBY:

Hey, Smitty, I found these somewhere.

Bobby keeps walking, while Smitty examines the scrubs inconfusion. He looks to Craig for an explanation, but Craigshrugs, continues on.

INT. DINING ROOM - DAY

Craig eats his lunch with the other patients. He seems to be

enjoying his meal for the first time in Three North.

Noelle strolls by Craig, drops a note next to his tray. He

smiles, reads...

INSERT:
“See you in one hour. Don’t forget.”

He looks around for her, but she’s gone. He folds the note

and continues eating.

INT. EAST CORRIDOR - DAY

After lunch, Craig approaches his room, but stops upon seeingBecca and the Professor staring inside from the hall.

CRAIG:

What’s going on?

PROFESSOR:

Look.

She gestures into the room, where Muqtada is out of bed, andslowly approaching the door.

CRAIG:

Hey, Muqtada, coming out for a walk?

Muqtada stops.

BECCA:

Shhh. You’re disturbing his progress.

MUQTADA:

(still inside the room)

What is there to do?

CRAIG:

Um, lots of stuff. You like to draw?

Muqtada shakes his head.

CRAIG:

Ping-pong?

MUQTADA:

Ping... What?

BECCA:

How about music?

MUQTADA:

Yes.

CRAIG:

Great, okay-

MUQTADA:

--Only Egypt music.

Solomon flops up to them in his sandals and too-big pants.

SOLOMON:

Excuse me if you please I am trying torest.

CRAIG:

Hey, Sol, have you met Muqtada?

Solomon reaches across the door threshold and shakes hands

with Muqtada.

SOLOMON:

If you could please keep it down.

Solomon stalks off down the hall.

PROFESSOR:

He has sensitive hearing.

MUQTADAThis I think is enough for one day.

Craig watches Muqtada go back to bed, climb under the covers.

INT. TV ROOM - DAY

Craig draws a series of brain maps, while his Gatesapplication remains untouched at the edge of the table. He

appears focused, at peace.

After a few moments, Craig hears a familiar voice.

NIA (O.S.)

Hey Craig.

Craig’s attention jerks to the door, where Nia strolls in.

His mood suddenly shifts from peaceful to anxious. He selfconsciously

covers his art.

CRAIG:

Hey... this is a surprise.

NIA:

Aaron and I broke up.

CRAIG:

Oh... I’m sorry.

Nia sits down next to him. She’s wearing a little beigecamouflage skirt, and Craig is suddenly hypnotized by herthighs, which we slowly ZOOM IN on.

NIA:

Are you okay?

Craig shifts uncomfortably in his seat, trying to conceal hisboner.

CRAIG:

Oh, yeah... Um, sorry.

NIA:

You must be really loaded.

CRAIG:

Yeah. I’m a little zonked.

She puts her hand on his knee. He looks down at his lap.

NIA:

You know, I’ve been thinking non-stopabout you since we talked Monday.

CRAIG:

Oh, I’ve been thinking about you, too.

Jimmy walks by, shoots Craig a big smile.

JIMMY:

I woke up and my bed was on fire!

Nia looks at him, makes a face.

NIA:

What’s wrong with that guy?

CRAIG:

He’s schizophrenic.

NIA:

Weird... Anyway...

(laying on the flirt)

It’s like you told me all this stuffabout you and you’re really... I don’tknow... mature. Not like everyone elsewith their stupid little problems.

You’re like, really screwed up.

CRAIG:

I’m a mess.

NIA:

But in a good way. In the way thatgives you experience.

CRAIG:

So you and Aaron broke up?

Nia nods, biting her lip, and we FREEZE on her irresistibleexpression.

CRAIG (V.O.)

Okay, so I know I should be thinkingabout Noelle and how I’m supposed to bemeeting her in twenty minutes...

ECUs ON various parts of Nia’s face: eyes, ears, lips...

CRAIG (V.O.)

But when you’ve got a really gorgeousgirl in front of you, and you’ve beenobsessing over her for two years, andshe’s biting her lip and talking low-

and you’re hard- what are you gonna do?

Back to Craig as the frame resumes action.

CRAIG:

You wanta see my room?

INT. CRAIG’S THREE NORTH BEDROOM

Craig leads Nia into his room, where by some miracle, Muqtadaseems to be gone. He places his artwork on the nightstand,

covers it with the blank Gates application.

NIA:

You haven't finished that yet?

CRAIG:

What? Oh...

But before he can respond, Nia advances toward him. A brief

pause. They look each other over and then go at it liketeenagers, falling back onto Muqtada’s bed. Nia straddles

over Craig.

As they kiss, Craig reaches up Nia’s shirt. She moans.

Craig awkwardly moves his hand from one breast to the other.

NIA:

Me and Aaron never did anything likethis.

CRAIG (V.O.)

Don’t mention Aaron... Lalalalalalala.

NIA:

This was totally on my checklist.

Aaron suddenly appears, lying in bed next to Craig and Nia,

swirling a snifter of Cognac. He wears a smoking jacket.

AARON:

Are you seriously squeezing my

girlfriend’s tit? Go easy, bro.

CRAIG:

(closing his eyes)

Lalalalalalalalala.....

NIA:

What are you doing?

A toilet FLUSHES off-screen.

NIA:

Is there someone in here?

CRAIG:

I’m gonna be sick.

MUQTADA (O.S.)

Sex!

Craig and Nia jerk their heads toward the front door, whereMuqtada is standing by the bathroom.

MUQTADASex in my bed!

BLAH! Craig vomits on the floor.

NIA:

That is disgusting.

Nia pops out of bed, buttoning her shirt.

CRAIG:

Sorry.

MUQTADAChildren make sex in my bed!

NIA:

Craig, who is this?

MUQTADAYou terrible girl corrupt my friend!

CRAIG:

This is my roommate, Muqtada.

MUQTADADon’t talk to her! She try and makesex in my bed!

NIA:

Easy, Mookie, nobody was having sex.

Craig breathes and sweats heavily.

MUQTADAWoman is temptress! I know. Get out!

NIA:

What’s wrong with you?

CRAIG:

He’s going through a hard time.

NIA:

No, YOU! What’s wrong with you?

CRAIG:

I’m also going through a hard time.

NIA:

Get some sleep, Craig. I’ll call youtomorrow.

CRAIG:

Nia wait!

Craig tries to stop Nia, but gets tangled up with Muqtada.

CRAIG:

Nia!

INT. THREE NORTH - EAST CORRIDOR

Craig rushes out of the room, sees Nia at the opposite end.

CRAIG:

Wait, Nia!

(desperate)

I love you!

Nia looks back to Craig.

NIA:

Just get better, Craig.

At this point, Craig notices Noelle standing nearby, a pencilsketch in her hand. His words echo in his head as he sees

how upset she looks.

CRAIG:

No, I mean--

Nia continues down the hall as Noelle crumples her sketch,

flings it at Craig, then takes off in the opposite direction.

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