It's Tough to Be Famous

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1

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music ends]

[jazz music on radio]

'I mailed it yesterday.'

He'll never complain again

if my love isn't too sure.

[music stops]

- That's strange.

- Maybe the tube burned out.

Oh, that old thing is always

costing us..

(man on radio)

'Sorry, ladies and gentlemen,

We will have to go'

'off air immediately.'

Due to distress signals

from the Atlantic coast.

Please stand by.

[tapping]

[indistinct chattering]

15 miles northeast

of rock island. Alright.

The S 89. What's the name

of the excursion boat?

'The Pilgrim'

from Boston, alright.

Lt. Commander Blake and

Lt. Sanford knocked off

the super structure

and rescued. I got that.

How many men left

aboard the sub?

12 and 1 officer.

Alright.

A fleet of destroyer's starting

to the rescue now. That's swell.

Joe, you stick at the Navy yard.

Let me have it as you get it.

Hey Harry, Dave.

Where are all you..

[siren wailing]

[engine's droning]

What do you

think chief?

How could anybody think with 80

feet of water on their brain?

And I had a date with

a swell broad tonight.

You better call and

tell her you'll be trifle late.

- Nuts, I broke.

- Oh-oh, there she goes.

(male #1)

Hey, what's the idea?

(male #2)

Nobody put a

quarter in the meter.

(male #3)

The next dance will be

a moonlight special.

[horn blows]

(male #4)

Equipment ready, sir.

[siren wailing]

Mr. McClenahan.

- What is it Stevens?

- Take a look at that, sir.

Hmm.

Just enough oxygen

to last half an hour.

This ain't

no picnic, sir.

No Stevens, this certainly

is no picnic.

[engine droning]

[siren wailing]

[continues droning]

Any of you men

who'd wanna try going out

through the torpedo tube.

Go ahead.

We're only in

about 80 feet of water

so... they're fighting

chances to make it.

I don't have

to tell you what the water

and sudden change

of pressure may do to you.

All I'd say is,

worth a try.

Anyway, it's better than staying

down here and choking to death.

Well, anybody wanna try it?

I'll try it, sir.

'Go for put a lung on.

Get number four tube ready.'

- I'm ready to take my chances.

- Me too.

[hissing]

- Good luck, kid.

- Thank you, sir.

Write us when

you get there.

[hissing]

Well, who's next?

[siren wailing]

[indistinct yelling]

[wailing continues]

So long kid,

don't wait for the stop signals.

Mr. McClenahan,

I'll have a hot cup of coffee

waiting for

you when you come up.

And you guys lay off

the-the compass alcohol.

It'll be safe now

that you're gone.

- Who's next after Vent?

- I'll try, sir.

- He should.

- Alright, get ready.

[hissing]

[indistinct yelling]

(male #5)

Easy there.

[engines droning]

(male #6)

Okay. Lower away.

Aye. Aye.

Come on.

Hurry up, put that

lung on, will you?

- Mr. McClenahan.

- Yeah?

After I go out, who's gonna

pull that lever for you?

It looks like I'm elected

to stay here, Steve.

Come on, hurry up will you?

Listen sir, this ain't right.

Now, wait a minute.

Stevens, I gave you an order.

Get into that torpedo tube.

Excuse me, sir.

But I ain't gonna do it.

What's the matter? Are you

afraid that change of pressure...

I ain't afraid of nothing.

But I ain't gonna let

you kill yourself, saving me.

I'm your commanding officer.

I ordered you...

Orders, discipline, all that

don't count for nothing now.

It's just plain common sense.

One of us has got

to stay here and die.

Now, you're

a fine young fellow.

With your whole life

ahead of you.

And I'm just an old guy that's

just as good as finished now.

It's my job to stay

with the ship.

You got a mother, haven't you?

And she loves you, don't she?

'What do you think... '

Are You gonna to get in

that torpedo tube?

'No Scotty, you are.'

My old carcass

ain't worth saving.

You got everything

in the world to live for.

You know, I'm right.

You know it.

Maybe so.

Gimme that lung.

[hissing]

[panting]

[continues panting]

[clanging]

[clanging continues]

[clanging]

[continues panting]

[people cheering]

[blowing retreat]

Come on, kid.

Come on, rise and shine.

Get out of there.

What's the matter with you?

- What time is it?

- Time to get dressed.

Unless you want to meet

the Admiral in your pajamas.

I bet he wears a night shirt.

I couldn't say.

You'll have to ask his wife.

After I salute the Admiral,

can I go on back to bed?

'Fat chance.

You're a hero.'

- Didn't anyone tell you?

- Quit ridin' me, will you?

I'm still sick as a dog

from that oxygen pump.

That's tough kid. But they'll

never lay off of, of you now.

From now on,

you're America's sweetheart.

Here's your new rubber, Scotty.

- 'What is this?'

- Ship tailor whipped it

in a couple of hours

with your new insignia.

You knew you've been promoted,

didn't you?

'Promoted?'

Three Grades, that's all.

Just Three grades.

Commander McClenahan.

Came through officially

about an hour ago.

[blowing retreat]

Why should they wanna

promote me?

I resigned from

the navy a week ago.

Just waiting to hear if they

accepted my resignation or not.

All I know is

you got promoted.

You're a hero

and you belong to the ages.

Why all this ballyhoo about me?

I didn't do anything.

Divers had to haul me up.

They're the heroes.

I'd say listen kid,

what does the public know

about the technical job

of raising a submarine?

They're not interested in bow

hunt divers who eat with knives.

What they want is romance.

That's you.

- Oh, Blueberries.

- Sure, that's what they want.

You, an ex football hero.

Laying down his life

for his pals.

Trapped in a watery grave.

Raised from the dead.

Say, listen, you're every

mother's dream, kiddy.

Every school teacher's fallin'

asleep nights, thinkin'

of running her

hands through your hair.

Oh, will you pipe down

before my insides

start doing back flips instead

of just plain flat one's.

[knocking on door]

See who it is, will you?

For Commander McClenahan, sir.

Wow!

- Some radiogram, Scotty.

- Radiogram? Ho-ho.

Handsome.

Come on, open him up for me,

will you? Read it.

- What's it say? Hurry up.

- You must be a big shot now.

Look at the flock

of these radiograms.

"Janet and I will meet you

at pier, so proud and happy."

"Dearest love, Mother."

Well, mom's are best.

She's spinning like a top.

That the Janet that came down to

Minneapolis to see you graduate.

Yeah.

I bet she's doing

some spinning too.

Go on, read some more.

What's the next one say?

Here's something tasty.

"I've just named my new born son

Scott McClenahan Goldfarm."

"Signed, Moses Goldfarm."

That's certainly

a big load off my mind.

Oh, boy.

Come on. What's the

next one say? Hurry up.

I'm hurrying,

I can't wait to see myself.

Old butter fingers.

"Can offer you 16 weeks in

Waterville at 3,000 a week."

Great leaping tuna, Scotty.

3000 a week?

- Why, you'll be a millionaire.

- What do you think I am?

- A trained seal?

- Aren't you going to accept it?

Say for $ 3,000 a week,

they could exhibit me naked

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