It's Tough to Be Famous Page #2

---

in Times Square.

3,000 a week, that's

more money than I ever heard of.

Read the next one.

Read 'em and weep, boy.

"Make no statement

to press until I meet you"

"with detailed arrangement.

Joseph Craig Chapin."

What's that

supposed to mean?

Beats me, who's

Joseph Craig Chapin.

I don't know, he must be a big

boat to carry those three names.

I wonder if he's the guy

that owns Chapin's magazine.

Maybe it's a misprint

for Charlie Chaplin.

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Captain Fisher's

compliments, sir.

The Admiral is

just coming aboard.

'Alright thanks.

I'll be right up.'

Boy, we've got

a knock on it now.

Scotty, you wanna hear

any more of these?

Oh, I won't have time to, kid.

We've got to step on it.

Hmm, look at this thing.

Uh, Scotty, before you go..

Wonder if you'd mind writing

your name on these pajamas.

Are you feeling alright?

Sure, I just thought that..

Oh, well don't do it then

if you don't want to.

Oh, I just assumed, but why

spoil a good pair of pajamas?

- Oh, forget it.

- Oh, wait a minute.

I'll do it.

Only I think

you're a bug house.

Now, where's the pen?

Here we are.

And, Scotty...

the date too.

Here you are.

Much obliged.

[knocking on door]

Come in, come in,

come in..

Sir, you're wanted

on deck immediately.

Alright, alright,

I'm coming.

Say, have you got

a handkerchief?

[ships honking]

Commander McClenahan.

Admiral Blaine,

Commander McClenahan.

- Commander McClenahan.

- Admiral.

Commander, it's my privilege

to extend to you

the sincere congratulations

of the Navy

for valorous conduct

at a time of extreme peril.

Thank you.

I..I wouldn't be here now,

if it weren't for the divers

and their wonderful work.

And I only did what anybody else

would have done in my place.

[sniffing]

Got a handkerchief?

(male #1)

'All to the deck.'

Say, Commander..

Will you do your speech again

for the news video-cameraman?

The sound equipment

went wrong then.

We didn't get it.

It'll only take a second.

Admiral, will you step down.

We've got to do that speech.

Are you ready, boys?

Okay for sound.

Turn 'em over.

'Alright, Admiral.'

Commander, it is my privilege

to extend to you

the sincere congratulations

of the Navy

for your valorous conduct

at a time of extreme peril.

Thank you.

I-I wouldn't be here now,

if it weren't for the divers

and their wonderful work.

I-I only did what anyone else

would have done in my place.

'Scotty, Scotty look this way.

A nice big smile.'

'Right into the cameras now.'

'That's fine, thank you.'

Let's go, Commander.

Hey, wait a minute.

- Where're you taking me?

- Where the tug is waiting.

How's this for

giving me a chance

to get into a more

comfortable uniform?

It's okay with me, Scotty.

[honking]

[indistinct chattering]

Gentlemen, Commander McClenahan.

- Congratulations, Commander.

- Delighted to meet you.

- Indeed a privilege.

- Honored.

You must have had quite

a sea sailin', Commander.

Well, not really.

[people cheering]

Have you any plans for

the future, Commander?

No, not exactly.

When they accept my resignation

from the Navy..

I suppose I'll be

looking for a job.

- You're resigning?

- Yes.

Are you doing it because you'll

feel free to make comments?

Perhaps you've got ideas about

submarines and safety devices.

No, I've nothing to say.

We just had a bad break.

Pool excursion boat

rammed into us.

What were your thoughts?

Did your life flash before you?

No.

Are you expecting any

motion picture offers?

For Pete's sake, no.

You'll have to hurry,

we're almost ready to dock.

- Your mother'll be down there?

- I hope so.

Expecting anyone else?

Commander, we better go forward.

[people cheering]

[cheering continues]

Scotty! I'm his mother.

I'm so proud of you.

I don't know what to do.

Mom, mom, please calm down.

- Hello, Janet.

- Hello, Scott.

You poor boy,

isn't this awful?

I wish those divers

hadn't gotten down there.

Thanks, Scotty,

I got it.

Sorry, ladies.

[clamoring]

Well, my boy, welcome.

Glad to see you.

- Take good care of him.

- Certainly.

- You got my message?

- I don't know.

- I'm Chapin.

- Well, what of it.

I transfer radiographs

aboard ships.

- Joseph Craig Chapin.

- Yeah, man with three names.

Yes. We have your program

all planned out.

It's a little bit crowded,

but it'll run like clockwork.

What program are you

talking about?

Will you do it again?

Cameras weren't set up.

The scene where you

greeted your mother.

- Will you go to hell?

- Come on, my boy.

- Get inside, get inside.

- Where you taking me?

Nevermind,

leave that to us.

My boy, we've got to get going.

Move right along.

That's right.

- Who are you?

- I'm your manager.

I don't need a manager.

I need a handkerchief.

Scotty, please kiss

little Mary Jane.

Do something,

I don't understand.

I got a button

from Scotty.

[indistinct clamoring]

Why?

The people need to get

a better look at you.

Alright, let's go.

Come on, hurry up now.

[band music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

'A man who joins the elustrous

ranks of great national heroes'

'along with Washington,

Lincoln and Lindberg.'

We have welcomed many heroes

to this great city

but none of them more

deserving of our praises

or stands closer

to our hearts

than this fine clean upstanding

young American..

Commander Scott McClenahan.

(cameraman)

'Commander, shake hands

again please.'

'For the camera.'

- How you standing it?

- Pretty tired.

You look all in.

Can I do anything for you?

No, thanks.

Oh, unless you've got

a handkerchief.

[blowing nose]

[indistinct chattering]

[whistling]

Why do I've to sign

all of these?

'Cause they're replies to

letters people have written.

A lot of goofs writing to

someone they don't know.

If you're going to take that

attitude towards your public

- you'll soon regret it.

- Why should I regret it?

I told you I don't want

anything from them.

All I want's a job,

an engineering job.

Say, old man,

who hired you anyway?

- Why, Mr. Chapin, hired me.

- Certainly.

You don't expect me to take care

of your mail alone.

What I want and what I expect

don't amount to anything.

Strangers push and shove me

in and out of cars

and run my life for me.

Are you confident to take care

of your own business?

Well, I've done it and stayed

out of lunatic asylum so far.

Sutter, hand me

the evening papers.

I'll show you

how confident you are.

What happened when you

disregarded my advice

about talking to reporters

without first seeing me.

Ah, here we are.

"Hero of S89 accuses

excursion boat captain.

"His eyes alight with anger,

Commander McClenahan

lashed out in wrath against

the pool excursion boat..."

I never said anything like that.

That's terrible.

- Let me see that.

- There it is.

'Wait a minute,

here's another one.'

"No criticism, says Scotty

quitting Navy.

"Scotty denied he will bring

inefficiency charges

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes