It's Tough to Be Famous Page #5

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Welcome home and welcome

into the firm.

[audience laughing]

Why din't you shake

hands with him?

Oh, uh, Mr. Boynton... thanks.

I feel like a horse's neck.

Let's get outta here.

But we haven't

seen the feature.

- Oh, come on.

- Don't be so self-conscious.

I don't care.

There's Scotty now.

[indistinct chattering]

[sighs]

[knocking]

(Scotty)

'Come on in.'

Well, my boy,

how're you doing now?

(Scotty)

'Swell. Only I have

nothing to do'.

I sit around all day in this

swell office... dandy office.

Title, secretary.

Nice salary, all the trimmings,

but... no work.

[Boynton laughing]

Don't you be impatient.

You've only been here a month.

We're giving you

a little time to get adjusted.

I'll never get adjusted sitting

around, trying to stay awake.

[Boynton laughing]

Nobody told you

to sit around here.

Our executives don't have

to keep office hours.

Run away and play. We'll

call you when we need you.

Listen, why did you hire me?

Why do you pay me 80,000 a year?

You're a very valuable

member of this organization.

Yeah.

I've got some big customers

for you to impress tomorrow.

Do me a favor

and go home, will you?

- No, I don't wanna...

- Come on, run along.

See you early tomorrow morning.

- Alright.

- Uh, about noon.

- So long.

- Fine.

Thank you very much,

Mrs. McClenahan.

Oh, not at all.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

- Hiya, commander.

- Hello.

- Good evening, sir.

- Hello.

- 'Hello, honey.'

- Hello, Janet.

Who are those fellows?

What sort of a day did

my captain of industry have?

Yeah, you didn't

answer my question.

What were those

photographers doing here?

Oh, oh.

Papa's got a grouch.

Come on. I've got just

the medicine for you.

Good, I'll need it.

This root punch

is stupendous.

I've put everything in it

but my bath salts.

[chuckles]

- Toodle-do!

- Hey, hey.

Are you sure you didn't

put the bath salts in here?

[Janet laughing]

Ah.

[clicking tongue]

Homelife of

the tired businessman.

- Isn't this scrumptious?

- Mmm.

- You know?

- Huh?

I have a sudden urge

to be kissed.

Mmm.

I've to take that up

with the board of directors.

Oh-h.

[mimicking Janet]

Oh-h.

[phone ringing]

Now what pest?

Ada'll get rid of 'em.

[ringing continues]

Hello?

I'll see if he's in.

Mr. Chapin callin'.

Scotty?

The Brazilian fliers reach

Roosevelt field at nine tonight

and you've gotta go

out there and welcome them.

Why do I have to welcome them?

I know nothing about flying.

I couldn't even

find Brazil on the map.

Oh, I can't help that, old man.

Well, this is a big thing!

You'd insult many influential

people by not showing up.

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

I never get to see you anymore.

Can't they let you alone

for just one evening?

Alright, I'll pick you up

at about eight thirty.

- Oh, isn't that a shame.

- Stinkin' operation.

It's worse than slavery.

It comes in night and day

letters, telegrams, reporters.

Can't even call

your soul your own.

Banquets for this,

luncheons for that.

Receptions for

something else.

I wish to Pete

I had never..

Welcome Brazilian fliers.

Stand out there

on an ice-cold field

grinning like a Cheshire cat

while a lot of photographers..

Speaking of photographers,

you haven't yet told me

what these fellows

were doing here.

Well, they just came

to take some pictures.

I didn't think they

came to move the piano.

- Were they from a paper?

- Yes.

- Which one?

- The Express.

Dear, don't you think

you've had plenty?

Who'd they photograph,

you or Ada?

Your wit is brilliant, darling.

They came to take

some photographs.

- What are they?

- You think that's alright, huh?

Of course not, but I don't see

any reason to get all boiled up.

Well, I do.

It makes me mad to have my home

spread over the tabloids

for the edification and

amusement of many yaps.

Good grief, aren't we

to have any privacy?

What are we, human beings

or goldfish living in a bowl?

- Scotty, will you stop yelling?

- I'm not yelling!

What'd you let these

men in here for?

Because Mr. Chapin asked me to.

- That's no reason.

- The best reason in the world.

He's your manager and he

handles all your publicity.

Naturally, when he

called up and said...

What the..

- Why didn't you ask me?

- Certainly because, because I..

[crying]

Janet, will you please

be reasonable?

I didn't mean

to bawl you out.

[rattling doorknob]

Janet? Janet, honey,

open the door.

[knocking]

Darling, please open the door.

I'm sorry. I apologize.

I didn't do anything,

but I apologize.

Janet?

[dialing]

Hello?

I want to speak to Mr. Chapin.

McClenahan!

Hello, Chapin?

Listen here, you can take your

Brazilian fliers and you know

what you can do with them.

I'm staying home tonight.

Yeah, I'll tell you why,

you big lug.

'Cause you almost

broke up my home

and I'm staying here

to patch it up, see.

Yeah.

Oh, gee!

[doorbell buzzing]

Don't answer it, honey.

[buzzing continues]

[buzzing continues]

- Do you love me?

- You know I do.

[chuckling]

[buzzing continues]

Shall I answer that bell?

- Oh, what y'all want here?

- Is Mr. McClenahan at home?

I don't think

he lives here no more.

I'm a reporter.

I know he don't

live here no more.

- I'll take care of him, Ada.

- Pushin' into houses like that.

He just ain't got no manners.

- I'm from The Star, commander.

- Oh, is that so?

My paper wants your views

about the Brazilian fliers.

Oh, it does, eh?

Well, look,

you tell your paper

that I don't know or care

anything about Brazil.

Huh?

You see, I got sick once

eating Brazil nuts.

And since then I can't stand

anything that comes from Brazil.

Are you joking?

No, no. I'm walking a tight rope

on roller skates.

But you're gonna

welcome the fliers

at Roosevelt field tonight,

aren't you?

Oh, sure, of course.

I'm dressing my grandmother up

in pink tights

and taking her

along with me... piggyback.

But I gotta get a story

for my paper..

[door bangs shut]

[sighs]

This is really serious.

Of course, I've already

wired apologies

to the Brazilian ambassador,

the Brazilian fliers

the state department,

the mayor and the governor.

Signed with Scott's name.

Look, don't you think this is

all a tempest in a teapot?

Oh, Scotty, please.

What if I did get

a little cockeyed

and excited and make some insane

remarks to some reporters.

What possible harm

can there be in...

The Brazilian Navy,

merchant ships, aeroplanes

all use gyroscopes.

'Either they buy them

from my firm now'

'or they're

potential customers.'

Gee, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

Your, your pathetic

attempt at humor

is liable to cost this firm

500,000 dollars.

'It means a loss of our... '

Oh, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, S.J. I've got it.

We can undo this thing. Sav

everybody that he's offended.

'And win back all the goodwill

that he's lost.'

How?

The Brazilian fliers

land tonight in Los Angeles

for a big banquet.

Scotty hops into a plane,

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