It's Tough to Be Famous Page #6

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attends the banquet.

'Makes a flowery speech

about, uh, brotherly love.'

'And the importance

of aviation.'

And his great esteem for Brazil.

- And all that sort of muck.

- 'Great! Marvelous!'

Now, of course, Sutter

will go along with him.

And he'll write him

a speech of welcome

that'll have them crying

into their coffee.

Joe, you're a genius.

Well, yes and no.

Come on, kid.

Toss some duds into a suitcase

and let's get started.

- We've gotta move.

- Why do I have to do...

Honey, be a good boy.

Do what they say.

- Won't you, please.

- Well, alright.

Hurry up. Make it snappy.

We've only got a few minutes

to catch that plane.

[indistinct chattering]

We've only got a few minutes.

I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll

help you. Now let me see here.

Oh, ties. Take plenty of ties.

That's a nice red one.

Now let's see about the shirts.

That's... oh, there's... no..

You should always have many

shirts 'cause you never know

when you'll be

invited someplace...

There's not many things

I can do for myself

but this is gonna be

one of them.

- Make it snappy, will you?

- Yes, I will.

Stupid, idiotic,

wild goose chases...

- Honey, where are your pajamas?

- Oh, I'll get 'em.

- There aren't any socks either.

- 'I'll get those too.'

'There they are.

Brazilian fliers!'

Fly to California for a banquet.

I'll tell them I'll take their

job and there's nothing they...

Honey, what about the studs

for your dress shirts?

For Pete's sake!

I'll get 'em.

Come on, Scotty.

Hurry up, will you?

(Janet)

'We're all ready.'

Good. Let's get down

to your car.

If we miss that plane

we're sunk.

[indistinct chattering]

Now let me carry your bag.

- The bag.

- It's alright.

- Write to me every day.

- You bet.

If we miss that plane

we're sunk.

- Alright!

- How long is he gone?

A week at the most.

Hurry up.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

- Come on!

- Goodbye, honey.

Be sure to gargle if you

start to get a sore throat.

Phone me at the office

this afternoon.

- Very important.

- Yeah.

Goodbye, Scotty.

Phew!

(Ada)

'What's the matter, honey?

Somebody dead?'

Mr. McClenahan

gets home this morning.

In time for breakfast.

Make corn muffin,

crisp bacon and scrambled egg.

And make the coffee the way

he likes it. Nice and strong.

And, Ada..

Use the new dishes

and the new yellow tablecloth.

'Hustle along, Ada.'

[laughing]

I never saw a woman so excited

just 'cause her own husband's

coming home.

[indistinct chattering]

Hey, give me the biggest and

the best box of candy you got.

- Five dollars.

- Thank you.

- Hello, Scotty.

- Hello.

[cash register dinging]

(male #1)

'Hello, Scotty.'

(Scotty)

'Hello.'

[chattering continues]

You got a Chapin's magazine?

[cash register dinging]

You got change coming, sir.

You think I'm silly to be

so in love with my husband?

Well, Miss Janet, my sister

was crazy about her husband.

He's a Pullman porter.

And she found out

that he had another wife

and family in St. Louis.

Well, I guess

I'll be alright.

I don't think Scott's

ever been to St. Louis.

Yes.

[Ada laughing]

[paper rustling]

[doorknob rattling]

Gosh, honey,

I'm glad to see you.

What is it, darling?

Why did you write that,

that thing about me?

Why did I what?

That drooling, mushy,

slopping Chapin's magazine.

I won't be able

to show my face in public.

People will throw eggs at me

and I don't blame 'em.

Oh, gee, darling.

This is disgusting.

- I don't see how anyone can...

- Neither do I.

And you of all people.

Good grief, Janet,

can't I trust anybody?

Not even my own wife?

Scotty, I didn't write

this article.

Well, whose name is that

on it, Napoleon's?

Well, I'll tell you the truth.

I did give Chapin

a couple of pages

of, well, intimate details

about your likes and dislikes...

Well, what the..

Why did you do

a stupid thing like that?

Because he asked me to.

He said that an article

about you in his magazine

would help your career.

Does it help a man's career when

his wife makes an ass of him?

To have her name to an article

that pictures him as a moron?

Chapin promised me faithfully

that my name wouldn't appear

in connection with this.

Well, I mean that...

Oh, so you and Chapin have been

conniving behind my back.

No, Scotty.

You'd give him all the details

and not tell me till afterwards.

Is that it?

Well, isn't it?

Oh, listen, sweetheart.

[piano music]

I did it because I love you.

Because I honestly thought

it'd help your career.

- And Chapin was so...

- Chapin! Chapin! Chapin!

If he told you to poison me,

you'd do it, huh?

You don't care

what you say to me.

I gave you credit for having

a little common sense.

We can't all be

as brilliant as you.

Where are you going?

To see Chapin and knock the

living daylights out of him.

Scott! You're just fixing to get

yourself into a rotten mess.

Make a Roman holiday

for the newspapers.

- Leave me alone!

- Will you be sensible?

I don't care. This is something

he's not getting away with.

I don't give a hang

what you do.

I'm so sick and tired of this

rotten bickering and quarreling.

The only logical thing for me is

to go away and let you cool off.

- No, you won't.

- I'll go if I want to.

And have every newspaper

screaming that we busted up?

The way things are going around

here that isn't such a bad idea.

[slamming]

[door slams shut]

Mmm mm.

[indistinct chattering]

Alright, goodbye.

There's the man.

Hello, Scotty. How are you?

How do you do, sir?

Something for you, sir?

Yes, gimme a couple

of dozen roses. Something nice.

- How about those roses?

- That'll be fine.

Janet?

Janet honey?

Janet?

Ain't no use you standing there

yelling for her.

She's done packed and left.

- Are you kidding?

- Do I look like I'm kiddin'?

Where'd she go? What'd she say?

She done told me to tell you

she packed and left

so I done told you.

And if you want your breakfast

it's in the kitchen.

'Cause I'm leavin' too.

[slow-paced music]

[music continues]

[clock ticking]

[music continues]

But we've got to get

a hold of him right away.

I know. After he phoned you, he

never showed up at your place?

- No!

- Wait a minute.

Have you located

Mr. McClenahan yet?

No, I called several times.

No one answers.

Alright, keep on trying.

There you are.

Good morning, sir.

Welcome back to the office.

Thanks.

Mr. Boynton wants

to see you immediately.

Hello, Scotty!

Well, how is

the conquering hero?

I ought to punch you

right in the nose.

Gentlemen, gentlemen! This is

no time for personal animosity.

We're in a serious predicament.

- Well, what have I done now?

- Oh, nothing.

I mean, this

Ole Olafson business.

I suppose I ought to know

what you're talking about

but I don't.

Ole Olafson. The third mate

of the daily's Stram Steamer.

- Don't you read the papers?

- Only the sports section.

Ole Olafson jumped overboard

during a storm at sea

and rescued the ship's dog

from drowning.

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