It Should Happen to You

The field is all at the gate...

...headed straightaway

for this feature race.

The track fast, weather clear,

six furlongs out of the chute.

The flag is up.

We may get a start any moment.

Battling Fur at a little fraction.

And there they go.

Channel Boy breaks on top,

Picassio's away at second...

...Harper's Ferry third.

That's all you gotta do, girlie?

- What?

- Feeding pigeons, for crying out loud.

- Why?

- Why not?

- What?

- What a park.

- Would you care for a peanut?

- Would I what for?

Peanut? Care for?

- I bothering you?

- No.

okay. So why you wanna bother me?

Who's?

What a park.

You said it. A person can't

even open their mouth in it.

Hey, how about you shut up? We're

trying to play a serious game here.

Look, girlie, I don't mind

a pickup once in a while...

...only I like to do the picking, see?

How'd you like to watch

some of your language?

- Who are you?

- Nobody, that's who.

So, what are you trying

to make a big stink?

- Who, me?

- Sure, you. Not who.

Comes in, walking in barefooty,

sits down on the top of me...

- Top of?

- ... starts throwing around peanuts...

...gets all them dusty birds over.

Top it off, she tries to pick me up,

as if I ain't got enough troubles now.

Listen, how'd you like

a good smack in your face?

- Why don't you try it.

- ecause it's too hot's why.

What a park.

- How'd you like that?

- Not bad. A real interesting shot.

Is there a water fountain

around here?

Yeah. Come on, I'll show you.

My whole throat's dry

from getting so mad.

No, no. Probably from

the peanuts, no doubt.

- Have one?

- Thanks.

What'd you say about a shot?

Movie shot, grabbed it

while you were screeching.

- What's the idea?

- It's my business. Documentaries.

- What's that?

- Well, I make movies.

only they're about real things.

People, places, things.

This one I'm working on now

is about Central Park.

Well, I'm glad you think

I'm a real thing.

Decidedly.

Have a drink. on me.

What are you doing,

following me around?

Let's go, sunshine.

What a park!

- You think he'll be all right?

- I doubt it.

- okay, son?

- I'm thirsty.

Come on, Michael.

- Ma, can I have a dime?

- No, Michael.

I'm losing my patience with you.

I wanna get a bottle of soda.

I'm thirsty.

No, Michael.

Youve had enough to drink.

No. I'm losing my patience with you.

Wait till your father hears

about this day.

Are you a New Yorker?

only since about less than two years.

Are you?

Ten years, still not used to it.

I'm from Westfield, New Jersey.

The one thing I can't understand

about New York...

...is why everybody here's

so unfriendly.

Ive wondered too.

Where are you from?

inghamton. Upstate New York.

- Pete Sheppard. How do you do?

- Thank you.

- Well, do you have a name?

- of course.

Well?

- Yeah?

- Gladys Glover.

- Glad to know you, Gladys.

- Thank you.

- Gladys Glover, huh?

- It's not much of a name.

- Why do you say that?

- ecause nobody ever heard of it.

And I guess nobody ever will.

- You mind that?

- of course.

You're on the young side

when that seems so important.

- After a while, you won't care so much.

- Sure, because then it'll be too late.

What's your line?

Well, since this morning

about 11:
30, nothing.

I got canned on account

of three-quarters of an inch.

- Around the hips.

- Well, think of that.

I had this good job

modeling girdles.

- You know what they are?

- Well, sure.

This designer and the boss

got into a whole hassle...

...on account of a couple of wrinkles.

ack and forth. ack and forth.

I was in the middle.

So the designer says the girdle's

the right size, I'm the wrong size.

So the boss says, " I'll bet you $50."

So Mr. ostrander took the bet.

He's a designer.

They got out a tape measure.

Just my luck. This morning,

three-quarters of an inch too much.

So it wouldve been all right,

except on account of losing the $50.

The boss tells me to go get my time.

I wouldn't get discouraged.

Sometimes you lose a job

just to get a better one.

I don't know.

I just wanna think it over.

I mean, the whole thing over.

That's why I came here to the park.

I always think

I can think better in the park.

That's why I took my shoes off.

I always think better with my shoes off.

You ever notice that?

on or off, I have trouble.

ut what I have to think about...

...is if I should stay in New York in

the first place, or else go back home.

I mean, you take New York.

You never meet anybody to talk to...

...unless it's somebody

you happen to know...

...or somebody fresh or looking

for something they're not entitled to.

It's an extremely unfriendly

community.

If you only knew how long it took me

to save up the $1000.

- What $1000?

- That I saved up.

The reason I came to New York was

to try and make a name for myself.

And I haven't even

gotten started on it.

I'm getting nowhere.

You know what I mean?

Some people,

when they get to that point...

...where they realize

that they're getting nowhere...

...they just kill themselves.

ut I don't feel like it.

Well, that is a fairly drastic step.

The only other thing

is to go back home.

Do the same thing

as everybody else.

Go back to work in the shoe factory.

Marry the first man that asks.

or the second.

And then...

...goodbye " name for yourself. "

Goodbye dreams.

In fact, goodbye, Charlie.

If you'll forgive me, Gladys...

...I'd better get back

to being gainfully employed.

- Thanks for the peanuts.

- You're more than welcome.

Say, if you'd care to give me

your address...

...I could drop you a postcard and

show you this picture when it's done.

I'd give my right arm

to see myself in the movies.

Just give me your right address.

-262 West 61 st.

- Yeah? Fine.

Room nine.

Well, so long, Gladys.

I saw that in a French movie last week.

Ive been meaning to try it ever since.

Good luck to you, Gladys. I sure

hope you make a name for yourself.

- If that's what you want, you'll get it.

- How?

It's just a theory of mine that not only

where there's a will, there's a way...

...but where there's a way,

there's a will. See?

- So long.

- Thanks.

- Yes?

- What?

Someone?

I want to see Mr. Pfeiffer, please.

- Who?

- Mr. Horace Pfeiffer.

- Isn't this his place?

- This is the Horace Pfeiffer Company.

ut there is no Mr. Pfeiffer.

- Excuse me.

- Just what was this in reference to?

To...

About the sign on Columbus Circle.

Yes?

It says it's for rent.

Yes?

Well, so who do I see in reference to it

if there's no Mr. Pfeiffer like you say?

Well, one moment.

Well, that's Mr. Entrikin.

Walk down the hall and turn left,

on the floor below.

No, no. I don't want

the average space.

Give me the exact footage

on each location.

Come.

What was that? All right, go ahead.

Good morning. Have a chair.

Thank you.

Go ahead.

You.

It's about the sign space you have

for rent over there in Columbus Circle.

How many? All right.

oh, yes, the double bulletin board.

I don't know what you call it.

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