J.D.'s Revenge

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'You're crazy.

You're such an idiot.'

'You said

you was gonna leave Elija.'

Ha! Fool!

'You said

you was comin' with me!'

'You're such an idiot.

You're such a fool.'

'I give you money.'

'You could never give me

enough money.'

'I give you more money

than Elija gives you!'

If you don't stop, I'm gonna tell Elija

that baby isn't his.

And he'll kick you out in the street.

- And if you do, I'll kill you.

- You wouldn't do anything.

You ain't gonna tell nothin'!

You ain't gonna tell nothin'!

Betty Jo! Oh, God!

Murderer!

Murderer!

Murderer!

Ready. Hup 1, hup 2!

Come on, come on!

All right!

- Oh, yay!

- Not bad. Not bad.

Hey, come on! Now, break!

Cut it out, man! Cut it out!

I'll kick your ass, Alex!

You used your knees on me, man!

- Yeah, cos you elbowed me, man!

- You crazy! I didn't do nothin'!

Come on,

ain't nobody out here gettin' paid!

Y'all cuttin' in on my weekend time!

Come on. Cool it, man.

I know you ain't gettin' paid, man,

cos if you is, I want my $5.

Come on, man.

Come on.

Huddle up!

You guys kick off!

You looked pretty good

out there, baby.

Yeah, I took it easy on them.

Listen, baby, I'm late for work.

These guys here

will take me home, right?

- Sure.

- All right.

- Hey, good game, man.

- Yeah!

And y'all be careful

drivin' my baby home, now.

Bye.

All right, OK. Now, erm...

Let's go over this part one more time

to make sure you got it, OK?

- Yeah, OK.

- OK, good.

What is the next step after a case

is argued before a Court of Appeals?

It's reviewed by a board then sent on

to the next highest court in the district...

- Ike. Ike.

- What's wrong?

Honey, you wear these things

night and day without socks and they stink.

Baby, those are $30 superstar shoes.

That may be so,

but would you mind putting them outside?

If I put 'em outside,

somebody might steal 'em.

Ha-ha! They won't be able

to get close enough.

Oh, that's cold, Christella.

If somebody makes off

with my track shoes, it's on you, hear?

I will take all the responsibility.

You heard that, shoes.

It's on her.

Honey, er...

Hey, let's knock it off for tonight, baby.

Yeah, I've had enough law.

I have a very good idea.

I think a night out on the town

will do you a whole lot of good.

No, I can't do it, baby.

We did promise Phyllis and Tony

we'd celebrate their first anniversary.

Yeah, yeah, but...

Now, listen, it's just one night.

It's been ages

since we've been anywhere.

It'll throw me off, baby.

Come on, Ike, how often

do you celebrate a first anniversary?

Hmm?

Why do I let you get me

into stuff like this, huh?

Oh, I guess it's, er...

cos you love me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

- What's the matter with you, Tony?

- I'm fine, man, I'm fine.

You better close your mouth, kid!

God, I could never do anything like that.

Could you, Christella?

At least not in front of an audience.

No, man. I got it. I got it.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

Besides, you ain't drinking

nothing but beer.

Man, when are you gonna learn

it's medically proven

that good gin cleanses your soul out?

Listen, man, ain't nothing wrong

with my soul.

Oh, ain't nothing wrong with his soul.

Sara Divine!

Just follow me inside!

Now, gentlemen, step right up now.

Here it is, so catch this show.

The best show on Bourbon Street

here at the 500 Club.

No cover charge.

See the whole show.

The best show on Bourbon Street.

Sara Divine, the hip hypnotist.

- Let's go.

- Catch this show. It's the best show.

Just relax, fellas.

All right, ladies and gentlemen,

just a few seconds of seriousness.

I wanna explain exactly what's gonna

be happening with these boys.

Number one,

while they're under hypnosis,

they will do nothing

they consider morally wrong.

For instance, they wouldn't

shoot anybody or hurt anybody.

They are not able to respond

to something they feel is morally wrong.

They merely imagine whatever I tell them

in a bigger, bigger way.

One thing is very, very important.

No drinking, no talking,

no clinking of glasses.

You'll notice no one's allowed

to serve a drink while I put them under,

because they must concentrate

on the sound of my voice.

Then when they are under,

then we can have fun and enjoy ourselves.

So, I would appreciate

complete silence. Thank you.

OK, boys, you'll hear only

the sound of my voice.

You'll put your hands on your legs.

You will choose a spotlight

and you will stare at that spotlight.

At the count of ten,

you will be in a deep sleep.

You'll hear only the sound of my voice.

Ready?

One.

Your eyelids are getting heavy.

Two. Your eyelids are getting

heavier and heavier.

Three. Your eyelids are about to close.

They feel very, very heavy.

Four, five.

Your eyes are closed.

You're very relaxed, you're very relaxed.

Six, seven.

You hear only the sound of my voice.

Only the sound of my voice.

You are very relaxed.

You cannot open your eyes.

You will concentrate only

on the sound of my voice.

Nine, ten.

You are completely asleep.

You are completely asleep.

You hear only the sound of my voice.

All right, boys, at the count of three,

you will raise your right hand very tight.

You will spread the muscles

in your fingers in your right hand.

You will not be able to bring them down.

Ready? One, two, three.

Right hands into the air.

Fingers stiff.

There's no way.

Try to put your hands down. You cannot.

You cannot.

Fingers stiff and spread.

You cannot put your hands down.

You're relaxed and hear only

the sound of my voice.

So innocent in their sleep. Aren't they

beautiful? Look at these gentlemen.

OK, let's have some fun.

Oh-oh!

OK, guys, arms down.

You're in a hot place,

a very hot place.

You're in the Sahara Desert,

and you're hotter

than you've ever been in your life.

It's 105 degrees,

and you're hot, very hot.

It's 110 degrees.

It's 115 degrees, and you're hot.

Very, very hot. 120.

Freeze!

You believe this guy?

Hey, what are you,

a stripper in drag?

Lovely, lovely.

OK, darling,

put the three-pieces away,

because you're all in a cold place,

a very cold place.

You're inside a big, giant refrigerator,

and you are colder

than you have ever been in your lives.

It's cold.

You've never been colder in your life.

Now let's have a big hand

for these talented gentlemen!

All right, Ike!

That was all right!

- Are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Put these in your bag.

Just go ahead and put 'em in your bag.

- How was it?

- It was fine.

I just saw a lot of colors

and stuff like that.

Let's go somewhere

where we can dance.

- That sounds all right.

- Let's get out of here.

- OK.

- Go ahead, baby, I'll catch up.

- Hurry up. Don't forget anything, OK?

- I got it, I got everything.

God!

Ike?

Hey, Ike.

What is it?

It's, uh...

It's all right.

- Come on, baby, we better sit down.

- Well, what's wrong?

Nothing. I got a little headache,

that's all.

Maybe a little too much beer.

- I think we'd better go home.

- I said it's just a headache.

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