Jack the Bear

Frankenstein! Frankenstein!

Frankenstein! Frankenstein!

Bring him down to the village,

and let's make it home.

I thought I knew all about monsters.

I used to watch them late at night

on Dad's TVshow.

After we moved to Oakland, he stopped

doing kids'shows, because he was different now.

Everything was different.

Now he was Al Gory,

monster of ceremonies at Midnight Shriek

Oh, Al?

What?

Oh, it's you again

So, anyway, before we dig in

to our second feature...

I have to pay a visit

to my aging mother

She would've

wanted me to have this

It was on real late,

way past my bedtime.

Dad didn't let me stay up to see it, so I used

to wait for Mrs. Sampson to fall asleep...

Hold it Hold it

I think that was a good one

and sneak

into his bedroom to watch.

But then I'd get scared,

alone in his room at night...

and I wouldn't know why.

I didn't know yet what

I was going to learn that year:

That monsters are real.

Whoa

We had

sort ofjust picked up and left Syracuse...

crossing the country,

finding a house...

the three of us taking care

of all the grown-up stuff together.

Here I'll get that

- Who is it?

- I got that

Come on, Dylan

I guess it

could've been strange being in a new place.

Can your dad

come out and play?

But it didn't take long for Dad to become

a celebrity among the kids on our block.

When's the monster

coming out?

There's no such thing as monsters

You all know that, don't you?

Monsters exist

only in ourselves

They live in the darkest chambers

of our hearts

They never actually

come out into the world...

unless, of course, a metal light appears

in the sky, but when's the last time you saw that?

So why don't we try and be adults

about this and run along home, okay?

- Hey, what's that?

- Mr. Leary!

- What?

- Look Look

- Look.

- There it is.

He was always

a madman for playing with kids.

Mom used to say that was because

he was reallyjust a kid himself.

Mr. Leary, what's this strange power

you have over our children?

I'm the perfect monster

And the house we found

in Oakland was perfect for playing anything...

especially the flashlight game.

Come on, Dylan In the closet

But it was different now,

the way he played with us.

It was like he had to do it.

After the heartbreak had happened,

sometimes I wondered...

if Dad didn't need our games

more than we did.

Okay. Right. That's right.

This is gonna be your bass note, okay?

Ready?

Where's "C"? Right Great

Great Now again

Sorry, Mom

Right

Very, very nice, Jackie.

- Hey, Jackie

- Hey

Mom?

Mom died last winter.

Dylan, don't wake Dad

Dylan and I were

still learning things you need to know...

when you move to a new house.

Like in our case:

Don't play in the backyard.

If you get caught

in there, they eat you

Out front, there was a whole

neighborhood to get to know.

Split the difference, okay?

Put the ball right there, okay?

Like Mr. Festinger, who always

yelled at his son Edward for being retarded.

Edward!

Edward, what did I tell you

about your eyes and the ball?

Never take your eyes off the ball

All right You almost caught it

You almost caught that one Come on Let's go

And Dexter, who lived next door.

My mom might be sleeping

His parents were really his grandparents...

because his real parents had split

from each other and from him...

and probably from everything.

Guess what We got company

Let's go to my room

Of course,

his grandparents weren't doing much better.

Did I tell you

he was a fighting Seabee?

No one else on our street would

let their kids play at the Mitchell's.

Come on Let's go

Them that are over there

That's them over there

See? Over there

Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em

Hey, Zombie That's right

I'm talkin' to you

The next time your dog

defecates on my lawn, he's dead, pal

Goddamn son of a...

And then there was Norman the Zombie...

who mangled one ofhis legs

in a terrible accident as a teenager...

when he crashed his T-Bird

into an ice cream truck.

He'd fixed up the car

and kept it on blocks in his driveway...

washing it every day.

You know, inside that cane

is a sword

- I've seen it

- And he attacked Mr Festinger one night with a tree branch

Hit him

right over the head with it

He also blinded his own dog

with a rock

You ever look at it?

Looks like a dead marble

- Oh, God!

- He's coming for us

Get down. Get down, Dig!

Get down. Dig! Dig!

Dig, he's comin'!

Is Norman gonna get us?

He's not gonna get us

He killed his parents You ever

seen 'em over there in a long time?

- I've never seen 'em

- You used to, walkin'around behind the curtains.

I'm not going to go look

That's for sure

Maybe we should.

- I'll get it.

- No. I wanna do it myself.

- Well, don't fall

- Okay, kids Get to bed

- See? I can reach it.

- Don't give Ms Sampson a heart attack

- What's up, Jackie Bear?

- Uh, nothin'

We're gonna have a lot of fun

at the studio tomorrow

But as for now, it's off to work

Buyin'a new car doesn't have to give you

a headache, not if you go to East Bay Dodge.

Ah My old friend,

Psycho Ward Cleaver

Put that thing down, Psycho,

and we'll go for a test drive

You know, Psycho, this

beautiful Dodge Challenger is loaded

- Air-conditioning Power

steering Blood bucket seats - Ooh!

Michael, wait up Michael

Quiet Quiet

Shh, shh-shh

- What do we do now?

- Let's go

- We got it?

- Come on

What are you doing? What

are you doing? What are you doing?

- Norman is gonna kill you

- Spray anywhere

Jackie, wake up

We gotta go downstairs

He said

he'd cut his foot investigating a noise...

outside his house.

I couldn't figure out

why he didn't tell Dad the rest.

He must not have too many good friends

if he had to come to us

in his time of need

He has a sword in that cane

Really?

Yeah And he attacked Mr Festinger

one night with a tree branch

Really?

Wonder why

he didn't use his sword

I guess that's when it all started.

I just didn't realize till later

that the trouble wasn't only with Norman.

Uh-oh Me spill

Who let this brat

into my crypt?

Spaghetti Bolognese? Now, how do you

expect me to clean up this mess?

This oughta do the trick

Don't move, Dylan

Hang in there Okay Cut

Camera one, lock it off

All right You can move now

- Peggy, take his clothes off.

- Come here

- Hi, Peggy

- Here you go, Jack Hang onto that

One day you're gonna like the girls doin'this.

Jack, don't you wanna be in the commercial?

No way

I have friends that watch this show

- Give me the clothes, Peggy Put 'em right here

- Yep

- John, can I see you for a second?

- Now, Gordon?

- John, can I see you for a second?

- Now, Gordon?

Right now

Do you mind?

All right

Well, let's take five

What? What?

You canceling the show?

No, no I love the show

I love the commercials I love everything

- You gonna give me more bread?

- Look.

I've been fightin'as hard as I can for you,

but they're pinnin'me to the mat.

It seems they have a problem with

your Psycho Ward Cleaver character

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