Jayne Mansfield's Car Page #2

Mama's name is gonna say

"Bedford" on her grave.

Yeah.

Do you have any medicine,

Carroll?

Yeah, buddy.

I got some medicine.

Are you all right, Father?

Yes, yes, I'm all right.

Please stop asking me

if I'm all right.

- Bloody fool.

- Good damn it, Neal.

One of these days

your luck is gonna run out.

Hey, girls,

before my luck runs out,

why don't y'all hand me

one of those beers back there?

- There you go, Daddy.

- Thank you, baby.

That's just what you need.

Y'all got another one?

Well, this looks like

it will do fine.

Now everybody stay here

and I'll go and register.

- Hello.

- Hi. Can I help you?

Yes, yes.

Uh, I have a reservation.

The name's Bedford.

DISPATCH:
We got an accident

on 271, one vehicle.

Looks like there's

one fatality...

one more car...

Let's go see that wreck before

we head to the house, all right?

Grandpa, I got to sh*t

pretty bad.

You can sh*t after a while.

MAN:
It don't look good, does it?

Well, looky here.

There's Jim Caldwell.

I reckon that son of a b*tch

shows up

at every wreck there is.

OFFICER:
Rich folks ain't never

got nothing else to do.

- OFFICER #2:
Hey, Jim.

- Hey.

- OFFICER:
Jim.

- Hey, Peyton, what happened?

Hey, Jim. I guess he just

didn't make that curve,

hit that concrete mile marker,

I figure...

- Yeah.

- ...as far as I can tell.

Yeah, he's dead all right.

Nothing we can do till

the coroner gets here,

but he's over at the steakhouse.

All right, let's take a look.

PEYTON:

They're down there now

trying to figure ways

prize him out.

- PEYTON:
Jim, watch your step.

- DEPUTY:
Look right here.

You think you can get in there?

MAN #2:

Come on, Jim.

Let me take a look.

Yeah, you see, if you could just

go to the other side

and we could wedge his foot out.

If he was a smaller man.

Move over a minute.

Move over.

Let me in there.

O Lord.

Yep.

Broke his neck, looks like.

Probably didn't know

what was going on.

Deader than Woodrow Wilson.

Grandpa, I gotta go.

I'm serious.

Well, go sh*t in the woods.

They're all around here.

All right? I'm trying to

figure this wreck out here.

He might have been headed

to get some p*ssy or something,

maybe looked up at the trees

for just a second too long.

Yeah.

There was a soul in this

Volkswagen a little while ago

thinking about something.

Now there ain't nothing more

than a voice-thrower's dummy

laying there.

Now it's trying to figure out...

...why he didn't make it.

CARROLL:
I want you to enroll

in college next semester.

MICKEY:
I don't want

to go to college, Dad.

It's a waste of time.

You gotta get that

student deferment, son.

They're drafting guys

left and right your age.

- Hello.

- Carroll.

Hey, Donna, what's up?

When did you get in?

DONNA:
Now come on

over here and eat.

Daddy's having a cookout.

No, Daddy don't want me

out there.

DONNA:

Don't be stupid.

- I got arrested.

- Are you shitting me?

- Yeah.

- Oh my God.

I'll tell you about it when I...

DONNA:
Come on.

- Okay.

- All right.

- Okay, yeah.

- All right.

- I'll see you later.

- Bye.

That was your Aunt Donna.

They just got in.

Neal wants us to come out to

the house and eat with them.

Do I have to go?

Yeah, you do.

Skip. Hey.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, come on, Skip.

- God damn.

- Get up, buddy.

Why don't they just get all

of it while they're in there?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

How are you doing, buddy?

- Oh, hi, man.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm all right.

- All right, all right.

We're heading over to the house

to get something to eat, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay, so get yourself good.

- All right.

- Okay.

Yeah, looks like we're gonna set

another sales record

- this year.

- DONNA:
All right.

Of course we set sales records

every year.

DONNA:

Bye.

It looked like

we weren't last year,

and then in that fourth quarter

we just started moving

Cadillacs off that lot, man.

- I'm telling you...

- Phillip Bedford just called.

- What did he want?

- He just wanted to let us know

they're here. They're staying

at the Pines Motel.

They're coming over

to eat with us.

I don't believe my goddamn ears.

You invited them bastards

over to our house?

NEAL:
Damn, Donna,

what's the matter with you?

They took your mama

away from you.

Ls this your goddamn

business, Neal?

What's going on?

JIMBO:
Donna invited them

English people over here.

Now she's gonna call them back

and un-invite them.

DONNA:
Like hell I will.

This isn't just about you,

Jimbo.

Mama's dead.

She's got another family

and we gotta deal with that.

The world don't revolve

around you.

VICKY:
Oh, I guess it's too busy

revolving around you,

ain't it, Donna?

Oh, go make a doily, Vicky.

I wish Donna hadn't

shot off her mouth,

but now we're stuck with it.

Hard to believe

I'm fixing to meet that man

face to face.

I'm furious with you, Phillip.

You put me

in an impossible situation.

We're actually going to go

to this man's house?

I'm sorry, Father.

She took me by surprise.

She was very insistent and I

thought it very rude to say no.

You know how much

I detest excuses.

I wasn't making an excuse.

What if he attacks me?

Oh, please.

Naomi told me

some terrible stories

about his mood swings,

temper... violent temper.

Hello. I've come to compare

notes on the bug situation.

I found the most enormous bug

racing around the loo.

You must come and see it.

We've been invited

to the Caldwell ranch, Camilla,

for a cookout.

I wonder if I've brought

the proper clothes.

What does one wear to a cookout?

It is so dreadfully hot.

I feel as though

I'm swimming in treacle.

Are we just gonna have to

sit here all day?

APRIL:
Yeah, can we go

swimming or something?

DONNA:

Well, why don't y'all wait

for Uncle Carroll and Mickey

to get here?

Uncle Carroll always loves

to swim with y'all.

- Hey, y'all.

- Hey, baby.

Hey.

They're here.

Fantastic.

It's like "Gone with the Wind."

Hi, everybody.

Are you Phillip?

Yes, yes. Donna?

That's right.

And this is my brother Skip.

God damn, he's

a good-looking son of a b*tch.

You have any trouble

finding the place?

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Your directions were impeccable.

Well, y'all come on in,

meet everybody.

Hi, guys.

Come on.

This is my brother Jim, Junior...

everybody calls him Jimbo...

his wife Vicky,

my husband Neal,

our daughters Autumn and April.

And, let's see, Jimbo's son Alan

is somewhere around here.

My son too... me and Jimbo.

Yep, came right out of me.

Well, I suppose it's my turn.

My name is Phillip.

This is my father Kingsley

and my sister Camilla.

Where'd Daddy go?

This is Daddy...

well, Jim, Senior.

Daddy, this is Kingsley...

I mean, Mr. Bedford.

Mm-hmm.

How do you do, Mr. Caldwell?

Fine. Just fine.

KINGSLEY:
Well...

you have a lovely house.

DONNA:

Oh, hi, guys.

This is my brother Carroll

and his son Mickey.

- JIM:
Yeah. Yeah.

- How are y'all doing?

A good picture

of you in the paper...

a nice, big picture, front page.

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