Jayne Mansfield's Car Page #5

about how when I signed up,

I became a medic 'cause you were

a medic in World War I

and... and...

and how I didn't mind

getting shot because...

'cause I figured that you was

finally, you know, proud of me

and how I admired you more

than anybody else in the world,

even President Roosevelt.

And you never wrote me back.

I mean, you never said

one word about that letter,

not to this day.

I never got a letter like that.

You're lying, Pops.

Donna told me

she saw you reading that letter.

Your sister must be

mixed up or something.

Your letter must have got lost,

lost in the mail.

You know,

I used to think

that you were seven feet tall.

I spent my whole childhood

just trying to be

just... just like you.

God damn, I'm glad

I didn't succeed.

Hmm.

Yeah.

You turned out real good.

MAN:
I came

I saw

He said

He fled...

"'Forward, the Light Brigade!

Charge for the guns!' he said:

Into the valley of Death

Rode the six hundred."

"Cannons to the right of them,

Cannons to the left of them,

Cannons in front of them

Volley'd and thunder'd;

Storm'd at with shot and shell,

Boldly..."

I'm glad you came

and loosened up a little.

Me too.

I actually had fun.

"Cossack and Russian

Reel'd from the sabre-stroke

Shatter'd and sunder'd."

"Then they rode back,

but not the six hundred."

CONNELL:
Man, I gotta

tell you something,

but you can't tell a soul,

especially my grandmother.

MICKEY:
All right, man.

CONNELL:
I got a problem, man.

What is it?

I mean, I really got a problem

right now.

All right.

I got this in the mail today,

thought you should check it out.

Well, sh*t, man.

What are you gonna do?

What do you think I'm gonna do?

Yeah.

Come in.

May I?

Oh, Mr. Caldwell.

Yeah.

I just

wanted to see

how you were feeling.

A great deal better, thank you.

Well, that's...

that's good.

Good to hear.

Yeah.

Good night.

Good night, Mr. Caldwell.

Uh...

I got a question for you.

Yes?

How did y'all meet...

you and Naomi?

Well...

I was taking my dog Molly

for a walk in Hyde Park

one morning...

a border terrier,

a wonderful dog.

And my wife had died

a year previously.

Molly had become

my constant companion,

always trying

to lift my spirits.

I noticed...

a very attractive woman

standing by the bronze statue

of St. George

slaying the dragon.

And she had a camera,

obviously a tourist.

And she spotted me

and she asked me

in a very attractive

Southern American accent

if I'd care to take her picture.

Of course

I said I'd be delighted.

So she gave me the camera.

And I was expecting her

to stand in front of the statue

and smile.

I'd take a snapshot of her,

I'd give her the camera back

and we'd go our separate ways,

but not a bit of it.

Not a bit of it.

No, instead she absolutely

astonished me

by climbing on the back

of the horse,

sitting astride it

behind St. George

as quickly...

and as nimbly as a monkey.

Sounds like her, yeah.

I was laughing so much,

I had difficulty in taking

the picture properly.

Anyway...

that's how I met

Naomi.

I just always wondered about it.

Always wondered.

Yeah.

Hey, kid. What's up?

Just going outside

for a smoke. You?

Just having my cereal.

You're up early.

Not really.

I ain't been to bed yet.

How come?

Connell and me

were up all night talking.

Connell got drafted.

Sh*t.

Does Dorothy know yet?

No, he ain't told her yet.

Man.

Poor thing.

She loves that kid to death.

It's weird, Daddy.

How can government just come and

tell you what to do like that?

He was gonna go to California,

get in the music scene.

- It's f***ed up.

- I know, it ain't right.

I mean, that's why I'm telling

you you gotta get in college.

That's why I'm against it,

you know?

So a kid like Connell

that has a dream

gets a chance to live it.

But, you know,

there is something cool

about it though...

Connell being a soldier.

No, son.

There's nothing cool about it.

JIMBO:
Well, looky there.

Here we go.

Nobody else is going to church.

Why do we have to?

'Cause we always go to church.

Because we love the Lord.

Well, we went to church

yesterday.

No, we didn't, God damn it.

We went to a funeral.

It's different.

Hello.

Hello. Good morning.

And then the hydrogen atom,

and good things are gone...

- Hi.

- What are you doing?

Getting the car on?

I'm just fiddling

around in here.

What are you doing?

Oh.

It's hot.

- SKIP:
Yeah.

- Very hot.

So when are you gonna get naked

and recite something to me

in your accent, hmm?

Come on, tit for tat.

No is not

an acceptable response.

- Listen, uh...

- Hmm?

Yes?

- Hop in.

- Okay.

Yeah.

Kingsley,

you heard of Jayne Mansfield?

- Jayne Mansfield?

- Yeah.

Yeah, the film star,

blonde with those...

Titties. That's right.

That's right.

Well, she was killed

a couple of years back

in a car wreck in Louisiana.

And a friend of mine

just called from town.

They have the very car

she was killed in

out at the discount store.

And they're selling tickets.

And it's a big deal.

And I darn near forgot

it was today.

Would you like to come with me?

Come on. All right?

- Oh.

- Let's go.

All right.

How grotesque.

It's a good spot.

I come out here

to do my thinking.

I used to bring

Patty Overton out here

and just wear her ass out.

That was before the war.

She married

a Primitive Baptist preacher.

She was hare-lipped

and you needed Grandpa's

bifocals to see her titties,

but, you know,

she had a $900 ass

and, God damn, she could take it

right up to the gills

without so much as a hiccup.

Oh, I think she sounds

like a lovely girl.

Yeah.

Right, enough

beating about the bush.

Let's get on with it, fly boy.

I think a little

Tennessee Williams

would be appropriate.

Do you know

"A Streetcar Named Desire"?

You hear that?

No. I don't.

Birds?

Silence.

That's what was hard

to get used to.

It still is sometimes.

It's kind of like floating

on a peaceful lake

with a tornado in your head

or something.

I never did want to see wrecks.

I didn't want to know

what somebody's last thought was

before they died.

I never wanted to see dead faces

looking at nothing.

I just wanted to fly.

When I was a kid,

I read books on it.

Once in a blue moon

one would fly over

and I'd watch it

till it disappeared.

So that's how come

I joined in 1940.

We weren't even in the war

at that point.

I just wanted to fly up there

in the quiet and the still.

I was a navy pilot.

How about that?

It wasn't quiet and still

though.

It was loud and crazy

and scary.

But you went up

every time you were supposed to,

did what you were

supposed to do.

And I went up with three minds.

One mind was always thinking,

"One way or the other,

I'm gonna get back.

I'm gonna make it back."

And then another mind

was always thinking,

"This is probably gonna be

the last day of my life."

And then your third mind

was right down the middle

and didn't think about anything.

It wouldn't

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