Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time' Page #8

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There's always that little hair

stuck on the wall, too.

And you wanna get rid of it

but you don't wanna touch it.

I don't know how it got up that

high in the first place.

Maybe it's got a life of its own.

So you gotta aim the shower head at the hair...

That never works.

You gotta get a pool of water from

under the shower and over to the hair.

Get it down a foot at a time like this.

The hair is hanging on.

But... we have to fight these battles.

We're all alone in the bathroom.

Whatever goes wrong you have to handle it.

Did you ever go to a big party,

go into the bathroom,

flush the toilet, the water starts coming up...

This is the most frightening

moment in the life of a human being.

You'll do anything to stop this.

You'll loose your mind,

start talking to the toilet:

"No, please, don't do this to me!"

"No, come on,

you know this is not my responsibility."

"I didn't make this happen."

"I'll get you the blue thing,

the man in the boat,

just let me off the hook this one time."

Thank you very much.

You've been a wonderful audience.

Thank you for coming.

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