Joe's Apartment Page #2

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If Joe gets greased, we're next.

I won't stand for it!

Let's teach them toe-heads some respect!

Roaches to the rescue!

I love the smell of this old couch.

-Double time! Double time!

-Hang on!

Hurry! These goons will bust Joe's skull!

He knows it, too.

-Feel him shaking?

-Spring is in the air.

-Stay cool, Joe.

-Take it easy, Joe.

Don't worry, Joe. We got your back.

Who....

Where is he?

-Troops! Antennas up!

-Sir, yes, sir!

Bombs away!

Give me a kiss, a**hole.

God, they talk?

That's right!

I'm about to kick your ass, too!

Disgusting little....

Your mama's cooking sucks!

I wouldn't even touch it.

I think he got me! He got me!

I'm heading up to that big Dumpster

in the sky.

You missed!

Over here, fruitcake.

Let's go!

It's a roach clip. Get it?

Now you're in trouble!

Ought to stomp your freaking head!

Slip on something more comfortable.

Hiya, Hansel and Gretel,

lay off our buddy Joe.

-Okay. Just let us go, please!

-Are you listening?

Because if you ain't, you'll get a roach

in every meal you'll ever have...

for the rest of your freaking life!

-You got that?

-Yeah!

We know where you live!

We live where you live.

-What a fall!

-Leaving so soon?

-The party's just started!

-See you.

Hate to be you!

-A spare!

-You was robbed!

You was great, Ralphie.

What a couple of pansies.

Joe, are you all right?

Get back!

-Joe.

-Buddy!

-That ain't no way to treat your friends.

-My friends?

Sure! We like the way you run things here,

so we wanted to keep you around.

You can talk.

Talk? We can sing!

Garbage

Garbage

Garbage

Sorry.

The garbage in the moonlight

Gives off a lovely smell

Sipping sewage with my baby

In our little roach motel

Please, don 't tell

On an ocean trip on a garbage ship

With a cockroach I adore

We 'll take a taste of the medical waste

That washes up on shore

Oh, sweetheart, say you love me

And crawl underneath my rug

You're one in a thousand billion, baby

Oh, won 't you be my bug?

Oh, won 't you be my bug?

Please, be my bug

God, what a nightmare.

I'm up. I'm up already.

-What's that?

-I'm trying to get some shuteye here.

Morning. My name's Ralph Roach.

This is my associate, Rodney Roach.

What's happening, Joe?

Another hot and muggy, Joe?

-What are you doing on my breakfast?

-Little nosh, that's all.

-How's it hanging today?

-Word up.

How do you like the Knicks?

How many of you are there?

This apartment? Not a lot.

About 20,000, 30,000, 40,000.

Mostly family, you know.

-And you can talk?

-Sure.

We just don't talk much.

Not to people, anyhow.

No point. People smush first,

and ask questions later.

But not you, brother. You're different.

Oh, yeah?

Joe, Joe!

Let's be friends.

We just saved your life, remember?

Besides, Joe...

if those two friends of yours come back,

we might come in useful.

So, how about

a live-and-let-live philosophy here?

"Slobs of a feather swarm together."

-Makes sense to me.

-That's fair.

-What's yours is ours.

-Stereo rights?

Just warn us before you flush.

I got to get out of here.

-Where are you going?

-None of your business.

-Mind if we hang out with you?

-Yes!

-Come on!

-Don't be that way, Joey!

Can't we? Please?

-You won't even notice us.

-We'll be good.

What's up his butt?

We ought to keep an eye on him,

in case he needs our help.

-Right as usual, Ralph.

-Excellent idea, Ralph.

Ritardo's!

Come on in. The cheese is fine.

You're fired!

Here are your enlargements, sir.

You're fired!

You're fired!

-You're fired!

-You're fired!

Poor Joe. Having trouble keeping a job.

We're doing our best to help.

Guess we got to keep on trying.

-Love this guy! Breakfast?

-Don't mind if I do.

-Don't panic or nothing.

-What do you mean?

Well, it appears to me...

that one of our most dreaded

natural enemies somehow got in!

Oh, my God!

Joe, wake up! A cat!

Don't let it get me!

How's everybody doing tonight?

Thank you! Good-looking crowd.

Anybody here from New Jersey?

What exit?

He's dying out there.

Some pretty cool cats from there:

Sinatra, Bruce.

Say, nice set of whiskers, sir.

Poor Ralphie. I can't look!

It's Cousin Tiny from Texas!

Howdy, cousins! Just buzzing through!

Let's have ourselves a little rodeo!

It's chicken-pickin ', finger-lickin ' good

I got my honey in a sunny neighborhood

It's a wrassling, hassling, dazzling show

Grab a lady and do-si-do

A little bitty kitty-cat rodeo

Scrape it, Clyde!

Now you ought to bring your daughter

'cause it's hotter

When he's shaking and a-baking

and breaking it in

He's a-gripping, he's a-slipping

Come on, mister, bring your sister

Bring her to the rodeo

Go, Joe!

-Go, Joe!

-Attaboy, Joe!

-Look at those claws digging into his face!

-That's got to hurt!

Good arm, Joe! Good arm!

You saved my life!

No human being has ever saved the life

of a cockroach.

This is a breakthrough

in "interspecio" diplomacy!

Yeah? Well, stop following me

to work already!

-For God's sake!

-You got it, Joe.

-Forget about it.

-Don't worry.

We don't follow you to work no more.

Yeah, right. I've heard that before.

Give me a "J"! Give me an "O"! An "E"!

-What's that spell?

-Joe!

-What's that spell?

-Joe!

Dear Mom, the job situation

has been a little tricky.

But I know I'm going to land

something soon.

Congratulate me.

This is the first of my works to use paint!

I call this piece lnstant Minority.

I did the whole block.

But people are black or white or brown.

Nobody's purple!

Periwinkle!

You're now the world's smallest minority.

How am I supposed to get a job

looking like this?

-You know how to play drums?

-No.

Perfect! You want a job?

I'm doing a musical performance.

You can sit in for my drummer. He's dead.

Well, sure.

What? He's dead?

Actually, it's a very funny story.

There's a crack dealer in our building

and my drummer called him--

Slit his throat so badly that his own mom

couldn't identify him at the morgue.

I'll miss that guy.

Is it a deal?

Excellent. Here. You can put these up.

That's a cool name for a band.

Sh*t.

-Hi.

-Hi.

It's a band.

What is?

This.

That's nice.

I'm the drummer.

We kick ass.

I guess you must.

What are those for?

It's a community garden.

We'll plant flowers and have a playground

for kids, vegetables for families.

Cool.

Yeah, but the lot is totally bare of soil.

We'll need fertilizer.

-Fertilizer?

-Yeah, a lot of it.

And then I saw your sign. I thought...

that is exactly what we need.

Well, maybe I can help out.

Wonderful. I'm Lily.

I'm Joe.

Dear Lily, it was great to meet you.

I'm into gardening, too.

I can plant trees,

weed flowers, dig bulbs....

B*obs, Joe, not bulbs!

Tell her you dig her b*obs!

Dames like compliments!

Nothing like the sight of a woman with

a sack of grubs hanging off her abdomen.

Can't you see

I'm trying to have some privacy?

Hey, Joe, what's this idea

you people keep kicking about "privacy"?

Explain it to us. We don't get it.

People need to be alone sometimes.

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