Joe Versus the Volcano
- PG
- Year:
- 1990
- 102 min
- 1,802 Views
GREY SCREEN:
The TITLE appears in white letters -
MUSIC. Borodin's "Polovtsian Dances," Chicago Symphony
Orchestra, begins to play. The stormy part.
The CREDITS ROLL.
The credits have that depressing, shitty, this is going
to be one of those lousy black and white movies from the
1950s look. This is going to be one of those cheap teen
sci-fi movies about a creature
MUSIC. When the female star's name appears, Borodin's
theme, which will later become adapted into "Strangers In
Paradise," plays. Then we return to the stormy part,
which subsides as:
The CREDITS END.
The following LEGEND appears on the field of grey:
"You only live twice.
Once when you're born,
Once when you look death in the face."
-- James Bond
The LEGEND remains, but the field of grey turns to a rich
texture of solid gold.
MUSIC. "The Girl From Ipanema," sung by the likes of Tom
Waits, sung like it was the Downest blues song anybody
ever croaked out just before the final curtain. The
MUSIC starts as the field turns from grey to gold. The
MUSIC PLAYS ON.
1 EXT. AMERICAN PANASCOPE CORPORATION - DAY 1
We're in color now, but it's a grey world. It's an ugly
building about the size of a city block and a couple of
stories high. It's surrounded by hurricane fence topped
with barbed wire. Outside the fence is a muddy parking
lot. On the fence is a sign that reads:
AMERICAN PANASCOPE CORP.
a subsidiary of
ACHI:
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 5/16/89 1A.
1 CONTINUED:
1The sign also has an abstract logo; a sort've German
Expressionist's version of a lightning bolt. Another
sign reads:
It's a grey winter's morning. It's raining or snowing or
it just has or it's about to. There's a guard at a gate
nodding workers inside the fence. They trail listlessly
past him and continue on their way to the building's
entrance. Most of them carry or are using grey or black
umbrellas. Since they are coming from the parking lot,
and since the entrance to the building is still almost a
city block away once inside the fence, this straggling
line of workers stretches hundreds of yards. Some of the
workers wear hats.
We see the line of workers FROM HIGH OVERHEAD
The line is in the same shape as the lightning bolt logo.
One of these workers is JOE BANKS. Joe is in his early
thirties. He's wearing a beat-up black trench coat;
under the trench coat he's got on a cheap and square
jacket and tie. This is a depressed man. You can see
where he could be cool, where he could have something on
the ball. But he's way too beaten down and depressed to
be cool. Joe steps in a puddle. He pulls his shoe out
of the water. He notices the sole is coming loose from
the shoe. This depresses him further. He walks on. The
sound of the WATER SQUISHING in his shoe can be heard.
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 1/15/89 2.
2 INT. PANASCOPE BUILDING - DAY2
Joe is shuffling down the main walk in the building. On
his left are doors leading to offices. On his right is
the factory, which has the feel of an airplane hangar.
The factory is separated from the walk on which Joe
progresses by a heavy wire fence twelve feet high. Joe
passes by a sign on this fence that says "Shipping." This
area is filled with thousands of brown cardboard boxes; a
shipping clerk among these boxes pulls a lever on a
device; the device spews out several feet of wet brown
tape. Joe continues on. He passes a sign on the fence
that says "Canteen." This area contains a row of vending
machines and two long tables; a guy who looks like he's
going to die is sitting at one of the tables eating pink
Hostess snowballs; he eats them in a slow, dismal way, as
if they were giant sleeping pills. Joe continues on. He
passes a sign on the fence that says "Quality Control."
This is the biggest area; it's filled with workers in
shower caps and worn white jackets; they work a distance
apart from each other, at long tables; they are
inspecting terrifying medical instruments. One of these
workers, a middle-aged woman named Sally, attaches a
catheter to an air pump. The catheter inflates and
finally explodes. Sally seems satisfied. Joe continues
on, his shoe distantly SQUISHING. He stops at one of the
office doors on his left. The lettering on the door
reads:
ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT
Joe opens the door and goes in. The SONG ENDS.
3 INT. ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT - DAY 3
The place is lit with those totally draining, deadening
fluorescent lights. DEDE, a secretary in her late
twenties, is sitting at her desk, typing. She's pretty,
maybe a little hard.
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 5/16/89 3.
3 CONTINUED:
3She types like an automatic weapon. Her makeup doesn't
really work under these lights. She nods briefly to Joe,
and goes on with her typing. Joe tries to hang up his
hat, but it keeps falling off the hook. He is endlessly
patient. It's the sound of the typewriter that makes him
miss. At last he succeeds. Behind Dede, at a bigger
desk, is MR. WATURI. He's leaning back in an executive
chair, talking on the phone. He's middle-aged, olive
skinned, in a dark suit that shows up his significant
dandruff. His teeth are yellow as rancid butter. And
there's enough grease shining on his forehead to coat a
skillet. He's talking into the phone.
WATURI:
Yeah, Harry, but can he do the
job? I know he can get the
job, but can he do the job?
I'm not arguing that with you.
I'm not arguing that with you.
I'm not arguing that with you
Mr. Waturi waves absently at Joe and goes on talking into
the phone.
WATURI:
Who told you that? No. I
told you that. Me. What?
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
Joe hangs up his coat on the coat rack and goes to the
coffee set-up at the rear of the office. He snaps a
disposable plastic coffee cup into a permanent plastic
holder. He puts a spoonful of instant coffee in the cup.
Then a spoonful of powdered creamer. Then two spoonfuls
of sugar. He takes a plastic stirrer and stirs the
powders. He pours in the hot water and stirs. Little
clumps of undissolved stuff rise to the top. Joe tries
to break them up with the stirrer and partially succeeds.
He feels the glands in his throat. Maybe they're a
little swollen. He rubs his eyes. They're burning a
little. He takes his coffee and walks past Mr. Waturi
and into his own office.
4 INT. ADVERTISING LIBRARY - JOE'S OFFICE - DAY 4
The same fluorescent lighting. There's a small wooden
desk which has on it an old electric typewriter and an
out-of-place lamp; it's a lamp Joe brought from home. The
rest of the office is almost entirely taken up with grey
industrial shelving. On these shelves are brochures
depicting various medical instruments. Samples of each
brochure are taped to the appropriate shelf. Behind
Joe's desk is a pipe that runs floor-to-ceiling and is
painted fire-engine red.
(CONTINUED)
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