Jupiter Ascending

1

Technically speaking, I'm an alien.

And from the perspective

of immigration, an illegal one.

My parents met at the university in Saint

Petersburg where he taught astrophysics

and she taught applied mathematics.

My mother fell in love with him

when she found him almost frozen to death

on the bank of the Neva,

staring at the stars.

Tonight, the sky is completely

full of miracles.

My mother won't talk much

about that time.

But my aunt Nino told me

about my father.

Max...

His name was Maximilian Jones

and he was the son of an English diplomat

who always saw the best in people.

I often wonder if what happened

to my mother and father

changed me from someone

who might have seen the best in people

to someone who always expects

the worst.

How's my Jupiter?

Not a planet. The planet.

The biggest and most beautiful planet

in our solar system.

She is our Jupiter.

Over my dead body

we will name her "Jupiter."

Soon you will discover that your mother can

be extraordinarily unreasonable at times.

But fortunately for us, she remains

susceptible to your father's particular...

charm.

No, oh, no, oh, no!

No, not the telescope, please!

Don't take the telescope, please!

Max! Ma...

In her grief, my mother pushed everyone

except her sister out of her life.

Somewhere in the middle

of the Atlantic,

she pushed me out too.

Pusha. Pusha!

I was born without a country.

Without a home.

Without a father.

But I was born in the house of Leo...

with Jupiter rising at twenty-three

degrees ascendant.

According to my aunt,

this is supposed to mean

that I am destined for great things

and that I will find

the one true love of my life.

- Jupiter.

- Coming!

- You finish the bathroom yet?

- Not yet.

- We still have another house tonight.

- I'll be fast.

Problem with astrology?

Total bullshit.

What was the name of this planet?

Zalintyre, I think.

Have you ever seen a harvest?

Oh, no. Never!

But I've heard they feel no pain.

It's all quite humane,

from what I've been told.

Well, there are marshals

and administrators

to make sure everything's done

according to code, but still...

It can be rather... affecting.

Now you sound like Mother.

Most of them were miserable in their lives

and what we do for them is a mercy.

Balem, thank you for responding.

We were just admiring this ledger

from your latest success.

Well done, brother.

The house of Abrasax

continues to thrive,

despite the squandering

of your inheritance, brother.

I must say, you're looking

a little worse for wear.

Could it be success

does not agree with you?

And you look so well.

Could it be that failure

agrees with you?

You may have inherited Mother's head

for business, but I inherited her heart.

And what does that leave me?

- Her beauty.

- Liar.

- Her humor.

- Her unluckiness in love?

Her fetish for wrinkles.

Well, if this is to be another

of your eulogies, Titus,

I have more important matters to attend.

It was her birthday recently.

You know I get sentimental, and I was going

through some of Mother's old sheave-work

and I came across a description of a planet

she claimed was the most rare

and beautiful estate she ever owned.

- I believe she named it...

- Earth.

...earth. It was part of your inheritance,

wasn't it, brother?

I was quite moved by her description

and I was wondering

if there was any chance

you might be willing to part with it.

Titus, didn't you bother

to look at the sheaves?

That planet is worth more

than all of your estates combined.

Really?

I had no idea.

- Kalique.

- Balem.

Jupiter, get up!

Get up!

Jupiter, make the coffee. Come on.

I hate my life.

Jupiter, hurry up!

That one goes next to that one.

Jupiter! Get the garbage after this.

- You finish the bathroom?

- No.

Jupiter!

I hate my life.

Damn it.

Told you.

Lycantant.

Another Hunter.

And ex-legion. He was a skyjacker.

- How do you know that?

- The boots.

There was a Hunter in the legion.

A legend.

Could track a single gene in the gyre.

No matter who or what he is...

he's after our bounty.

That's him. It's got to be.

We should warn Lord Balem.

That is what we should do, but...

Do you trust me?

This matter must be handled

with delicacy, malidictes.

I understand, lady Kalique.

Neither Balem nor Titus

must suspect my involvement.

Of course, Your Majesty.

You believe The Hunters can be trusted?

Trust is an illusion, my lady.

I believe only in mutual self-interest.

They want another life. We can offer it.

Make the deal.

Welcome back, Lord Balem.

It has been too long.

I have not crossed the vastness

of space for your pleasantries, Mr. Night.

Of course, My Lord.

We have verified the geneprint.

Most unfortunate news.

I believe Titus is aware

of the recurrence.

My spies whisper

but cannot substantiate.

So you have her print,

but you don't have her?

Mr. Tskalikan.

The keepers traced the print

to a medical clinic.

They're eliminating every lead.

We have a name. Dunlevy.

Katherine Dunlevy.

Well, I want miss Dunlevy found...

and I want her dead.

Black. Classic? A la mode, a la m... No.

Katherine, I'm done.

Jupiter! Help, please?

- Wow, what's the occasion?

- Austin Davis is taking me to dinner.

- I think he's gonna ask me to marry him!

- Do you wanna marry him?

Jupiter, he's the number eight richest

bachelor under thirty in America.

He speaks fluent Chinese and German,

and he was an alternate

on the olympic curling team.

- Solid rsum.

- Yeah, I mean, it sounds totally...

- ...Cinderella, doesn't it?

- Sure.

Then why do I feel like

I'm about to throw up? Oh, God.

I just don't remember Cinderella puking.

Kind of remember her dancing

with a bunch of mice.

Have you ever...

fallen in love, Jupiter?

You know, my mom says that love

is just a fairytale for little girls.

That really, it's all just urges

and obligations.

Wow. That's kind of harsh.

- You want my advice?

- Yes.

If he's really in love with you,

then he'll understand

that you're just overwhelmed and...

and you need a little time.

- That makes sense.

- Yeah.

Okay, what do I wear now?

Something that reminds him

of what he is waiting for.

Like that Red McQueen,

or this Little Ricci.

Katherine? Everything all right?

Yeah, no, no. We're good.

I'll be down in a sec.

Picked up a referral. A townhouse.

But it has to be Wednesday.

- Wednesday's full. Three houses.

- So do four.

English, please.

We use English in this house.

Use whatever you like.

You sound like Stalin to me.

Stalin?! I'm Stalin?

You don't want the money.

I will give it to... Gleb's crew.

Good. Thank you.

- We'll take it.

- Big surprise.

Hey, cousin, speaking of money,

I was wondering if...

Oh, let me guess. Another advance.

For what this time? Shoes? A new phone?

I'll earn it back.

No, you mean you'll waste it

trying to make yourself feel better

by buying something you don't need.

So, what, instead of feeling better,

I should save my money and feel worse?

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