Kaminey

Synopsis: Guddu and Charlie are identical twins born and raised in the slums of Mumbai. They dream of leaving the squalor behind and moving into a life of prosperity and dignity. Though they look alike, the two are as different as chalk and cheese: one lisps while the other stammers; one is an honest, diligent social worker while the other hedges bets at a racecourse. The brothers want nothing to do with each other, but when Charlie gets mixed up in a deadly get-rich-quick scheme and Guddu realizes that the love of his life has unwittingly put a price on his head, their lives begin to collide. Faced with rogue politicians, drug dealers and crooked cops, they uncover a sinister plot laid out by the 'political-police-underworld' nexus. Their stories finally converge to a point when they realize they only have each other.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Vishal Bhardwaj
Production: UTV Communications
  2 wins & 18 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.4
Year:
2009
130 min
374 Views


We are identical twins...

but we are poles apart.

He lags behind

where as l, zoom ahead.

He stammers and...

I pronounce S as F.

On his death bed, my father said...

Charlie, always remember...

Iife is a b*tch!

And the only way to deal with life,

is to be...

(Scoundrels)

The path we choose doesn't

screw our life...

what screws us is...

the path we leave behind!

There are two ways to

earn a quick buck!

A shortcut...

and a shorter shortcut!

Get him!

I took the shortcut...

yet my dreams got screwed.

Big time!

Blue thunder.

My dreams..

My sweet little dreams.

My life...

my whole wide world...

My booking window.

In reality...

I'm just a small time gangster.

Our gang fixes derbies.

Come on! Come on!

People bet money on the

favorite horses that win..

..but we bet on losing.

Blue thunder was

favorite in yesterday's derby.

This race was fixed.

I had bet my life time earning,

rupees hundred thousand..

..on that horse.

But the jockey double crossed us.

I had to pay a heavy

price for this shortcut.

Our booking company lots

its reputation and hazard.

The company is run by

three Bengali brothers.

This is Mujeeb and that's Shumon.

Mikhail, the third Bengali brother.

- How're you?

- The same as you!

My buddy, dearer

than my own brother.

A kid at heart but...

a maniac in the head.

Indian National Small Arms System.

In short lNSAS.

The heroine of the Kargil war...

purely homebred.

A distant cousin of the AK47.

Weight:
6.37 kgs.

Range:
700 meters.

Feed:
30 round

- plastic box magazine.

How many can it kill in one round?

Sir, you'll lose count, but

the bullets will carry on.

- Some people change with time...

and how the times change for some.

Arsehole...

money can be quite the devil.

You had to pull the reins here.

Double cross Burgess!

Double cross!

- Shumon! - Yes...

The viewfinder is screwed.

Bro says the viewfinder is off mark.

Not possible, sir.

Big brother never lies!

Please don't do this.

Do what?

You screw us all over...

that's cool, huh?

The sky disappeared and...

my balls vanished from my boxers!

- You know how much we lost?

Charlie, they will kill me.

And we will worship you!

Stop crying, you rascal!

Brother says if he

aims at Burgess' head...

the bullet will hit

the clock instead.

- Not the clock... the lamp.

The lamp!

- Please forgive me!

I'm the one who is screwed here.

Royally screwed!

If I start crying,

you'll drown in my tears.

I want his name!!

Francis!

Franfif?

You're growing senile day by day.

You've absolutely lost it!

What if I were shot?

My cute little darling...

Stop flashing your pearlies!

He almost crapped in his pants!

Even you would've crapped!

Such a coward!

You really thought

he would shoot you?

You are sh*t scared!

What did you say?

Growing senile day by day?

You're absolutely right!

All three are nuts!

Every brother

in the world is crazy.

Just like mine!

Here comes the Love Bee

Whiplash him, Fatak!!

Here comes the Love Bee

Whiplash him, Fatak!!

Here he comes- humming

Whiplash him, Fatak!!

Here comes the Love Bee-

Here he comes- humming

Bumbling through the lanes

Hasn't found anyone

worth desiring, no, not yet

Whiplash him, Fatak!!

He deals off his friends

Look at the dandy,

the way he struts

He deals off his friends

Look at the dandy,

the way he struts

Full of swagger and all

Whiplash him, Fatak!!

Hurl him on the ground

Dare you count on him as a friend

The rogue aimlessly

tramps the streets

Dare you count on him as a friend

The rogue aimlessly

tramps the streets

This leech will always feed on you

He may go but will return soon

In every defiled droplet of blood

To nibble your life away

Look, look he returns

He returns this

illicit child of the night

Whiplash him, Fatak!!

Here comes the Love Bee-

Here he comes- humming

Here comes the Love Bee-

Here he comes- humming

Here comes the Love Bee-

Here he comes- humming

Bumbling through the lanes

Hasn't found anyone

worth desiring, no, not yet

Here comes the Love Bee-

Here he comes- humming

This love is not easy

The fear of AlDS hovers around

Wear your oars

This river is made of fire

Be careful, lest your boat capsizes

Be careful, lest the Love Bee stings

Be careful, lest your boat capsizes

Be careful, lest the Love Bee stings

Jeetu, where's Guddu?

Where's Guddu?

Guddu!

We need to talk...

Listen!

Guddu listen to me...

The boat capsized...

Capsized!

- Let's do another test?

This was the third.

When did you go for the other two?

Why didn't you tell me?

- I didn't want to

stress you out... - And now?

Now where's your s... s...

Sincerity?

Safety?

- What is it? - Science!

Home science? Huh?

It was right here...

Kama Sutra condoms, a full packet.

Forget about it.

I'm a topper in home science.

- Home science?

What do you mean?

I mean...

there's no danger today.

I don't like anything between us.

Nothing!

Glad the damn thing is lost.

Let me take one last look...

- it's got to be here.

-You're such a dork.

- Let it be!

Do you know the distance

it creates between us?

you're in New... New...

New Jersey?

- New... - New Zealand?

New Delhi?

New... New...

New Bombay.

Not Bombay... Mumbai.

You love Mumbai?

- Yes, doctor. I'll call you later.

He says it will be done in a day.

I can be back in four hours...

same day.

Fix an appointment for tomorrow?

- Please say something.

- Do as you like.

I won't be part of this murder.

What do you mean?

Oh my!

Got it!

My single piece.

We'll sail through!

I'm ready to be a mother...

But I'm not ready to

become a father!

Please understand, my dear!

We don't have enough

to support each other.

How do we support a child?

Things will fall into place.

This is our destiny.

Our destiny is screwed. Big time!

I can't get married right now.

Period!

Why not?

All yours.

My life... my plan... my future...

Marriage in 2014...

and honeymoon in 2009!

Bravo Mr Sharma. Bravo!

You wanted it!

And you didn't?

No!

So I must have raped you then!?

And all those promises...

was it the booze?

"Baby! It feels as though

I've known you for ages."

Please, listen...

I'll take up a job.

But I still can't

marry you now. I mean...

" I mean... I

mean..." What do you mean?

You don't want an

abortion nor want to marry.

What do you want?

I just want to die.

Fine! Go die!

Please Guddu... please...

I can't see you die.

- I am not committing suicide.

I know but if we

don't get married soon...

you'll be killed for sure.

- Listen... my full name is...

- Sweety Shekhar Bhope.

I'm Sunil "Chopper" Bhope's sister.

Guddu...

Bho... Bho...

pe!

Hail Maharashtra!

- We sent someone to check.

She hasn't been to

college for a month.

Uncle...

- Been bunking!

- Who's the boy?

- I want a chocolate!

- Some "Guddu".

- Address? -Navi Mumbai

- Uncle, I want a chocolate...

- Shut up!

Miser!

- Get the cars out! - Chief,

listen to me...

We've got that

interview lined up for today.

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Supratik Sen

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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