King's Ransom

Wake up, Chicago.

This is your morning man...

getting you up

and on your way...

at 8:
10 in the A.M.

on WPJW, 98.5

Now listen up.

Do you need some money?

Well, you just might win it

with the lottery.

lt's up to $7 1 million.

Tell you something--

l got my ticket. How about you?

On the serious tip--

you heard about Mark Wilson...

the little 10-year-old boy

that was kidnapped?

Well, we've got no news yet...

but when we know something,

you'll know something.

Updates coming later on at noon.

So keep it right here

on WPJW, 98.5.

Damn, l'm pretty.

Malcolm King's office.

Ha ha ha ha!

Miss Gladys...

l'm pulling into the office

in two minutes, all right?

Have my messages

and my coffee ready!

Malcolm,

turn that music down!

No, l'm not gonna

turn down my music!

Miss Gladys, this is my song!

Malcolm--

Mr. King, sir.

How are we feeling today, sir?

Rich. Hey, Andre,

Benz is a little dusty, man.

Wash it for me.

Your car is

in perfectly good hands.

Make sure you don't scratch it.

Jackass.

-Hey, Mr. King.

-Yes, that's me.

King Enterprises Limited.

Please hold.

Mr. King--

Hey, Charles.

Give me a half hour, OK?

OK.

Good morning, Mr. King.

Hey, how's my poor little

rich girl today?

Tell me, how does it feel...

to have to work

for a living now, huh?

Mr. King, working here

isn't like working at all!

Ladies.

Good morning, ladies.

Jackass.

l have some feedback

from the photo shoot today.

OK, one minute. One minute.

Two words--bikini wax.

Looked like you had a midget

holding a fistful of twigs.

-He's not talking about me.

-Oh!

Morning, Miss Gladys.

Morning, Malcolm.

Mmm. Thank you.

Miss Gladys...

l need you to transfer 1 35,000

to my personal account.

l'm taking delivery

of that Ferrari today.

What did l tell you, Malcolm?

No way.

But it's my money!

And it's because of me

keeping my eye on it...

that you have any left.

You're just gonna have to drive

one of your other five cars.

Here are your messages.

Thank you.

Oh. Peaches,

who's on line two?

Peaches?

Peaches, who is on line two?

-Pea--

-Ange, l forget.

Oh! Great. They hung up.

So, nothing

from Andrew Ross, huh?

Ahem. No.

Damn it.

Look, if we don't close

this deal now...

l'm gonna have to wait

another six weeks.

He's about to go on

this stupid hot-air balloon...

around-the-world expedition.

You know, white folks is crazy.

But their money is sane.

Whoo! Their money is sane.

You are about to give

a big old party...

celebrating the tenth

anniversary of your company.

Why would you want to sell it

off to some spoiled rich kid...

looking to cash in

on what you've built?

Because

that spoiled rich kid...

is about to give me

25 million for my company...

so you damn well better

start warming up to him.

''Damn well''?!

What did l tell you

about your mouth, boy?

You know l don't like

no cussin' up in here.

Cuss again,

l'll hit you upside your head.

-Mm-hmm.

-Oh.

Your wife's lawyer agreed

to have the meeting...

in the conference room

here tomorrow.

So...you finally decided

to divorce the b*tch, huh?

The b*tch...is history.

Ow! What?!

What did l tell you

about your mouth?

But you just said

the same thing, Miss Gladys!

Well, if l jump off a bridge,

you gonna jump off one, too?

lt's not going so good

with Peaches, huh?

Ohh...

lf this were a strip club

or an airhead convention.

The last time l checked,

we were a marketing firm.

This is a place of business.

We got work to do.

Angela, all God's children

deserve a chance.

Her dumb ass deserves the boot!

OK, that's not nice.

''Not nice''? Get--

l'm gonna tell you

what's not nice.

lt's Malcolm King forcing me

to hire another one...

of his incompetent little

hoochies as my assistant.

l know.

l can't stand Malcolm King...

and King Enterprises.

But if l wasn't a lock

for that V.P. position...

l would be out of here so fast.

-Oh, l know.

-l deserve the promotion anyway.

l've been doing the damn job

for the past few months.

l've got a master's degree

from Yale.

-Yale.

-And 10 years of experience.

l just got

the car of my dreams...

l closed escrow

on a pretty three-bedroom.

l mean, my apartment

is packed up already.

l've got to get that promotion.

Do you want me

to say a prayer for you?

Not now.

l don't want you to take this

the wrong way...

Yeah?

But ever since you got saved...

you've been a little...

extra with the God stuff.

Extra?

Extra.

-My Jesus piece?

-Yeah.

l just got it.

lt's great, right?

Why is this happening?

Guys, scram!

Peaches, don't you have

some work to do?

l finished my coloring.

Marco, take my coat.

Take my coat.

Yeah, you did

a good job on this, man...

but l think

you need to get the back.

-Ahem.

-Yeah.

That's a nice ride

you got there.

What does the ''King'' stand for?

That's my last name.

Ah, really?

So, what's your first name?

Malcolm.

Mmm.

Corey, get up here!

Coming, Granny.

$300, and you got

all those wonderful things.

And l'm going to show you...

Make yourself useful.

Go pick me up a pack of smokes.

Hand me my massage pillow,

will you?

Right now, tonight.

But now we've got

to get two traders...

who will risk what

they've already won...

Here you go. OK?

...sofa and color TV

worth 2,190...

and they're ready to go.

Unh!

What's the matter, big brother?

Ain't you glad to see me?

Yeah. No!

What are you doing, Raven?

l thought you were still

in prison for armed robbery.

Yeah, well, l was until

l broke out this morning.

-Ahh! Ahh! Hey!

-Listen.

l need you to get me money.

Enough to buy me

a Mexican vacation.

l don't have any money, Raven.

l know that, loser.

l got a plan,

and l need your help.

Well, whatever your plan is,

l don't want any part of it.

Shut up. You're gonna do

exactly what l tell you to do.

You been hearing about this

little boy who got kidnapped?

-Yeah.

-Well, that's the plan.

You're gonna help me

kidnap some--

No, no,

l'm not kidnapping anybody.

Then you better figure out a way

to turn no dollars into $10,000.

l--$10,000?

There's no way l can do that.

Look, if l get caught again,

you're going down with me...

and we both know you won't last

one second in prison.

Raven...

Ten grand, Corey.

l'll be in touch.

Give me Malcolm.

Hold on.

The b*tch is on line one.

Damn it! OK.

You want me to stop?

Oh, no, baby, keep going.

Uh, Renee, what's up?

What do you want?

Miss Gladys?

Miss Gladys,

there is nobody on line one!

l think l accidentally

hung up on her.

Mmm! Oh, get back to work, baby.

Mmm! Hot damn! Whoo!

Malcolm King's office.

You hung up on me,

you old witch.

Call me that again,

and l will snatch...

every bit of fake hair

out of your nappy head.

Just do your job

and get Malcolm.

Gold-digger. Hold on!

Oh!

She's on line one.

What do you want, Renee?

Ah, there you are.

Must you cancel

all of my credit cards?

What am l supposed

to do for money?

Hell if l care.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

That sounds embarrassing.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes