King's Ransom Page #3

Thank you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You know what?

There's a spot for me

in King Enterprises.

lt's OK. There's a spot for me

in King Enterprises.

High--highly motivated,

grab life by the horns.

Just like you did. That's me.

And l have vocational skills

that could benefit you greatly.

You know, son,

they say you can tell...

everything about a man

by the shoes that he wears...

And your shoes suck.

And this right here...

is the closest that

you'll ever be to $15 million.

Now, that was funny.

Yes, it was.

Ha ha ha ha!

Where you going? Hey. Ho.

What?

May l help you?

Yes, l hope you can.

l was wondering...

how much you could give me

for all these tools.

l give you 200 for everything.

Oh. ls there any way

you can go a little higher?

l'm--l'm kind of in a jam.

So, you pretty desperate?

l am so desperate.

-You just said 200.

No, l didn't.

Give me the hundred.

Billionaire Andrew Ross...

said good-bye

to solid ground today...

when his hot-air balloon

took off for the Arctic Circle.

Amy Russell

has footage at 10:00.

And now the winning numbers...

Shh. She's about

to pick the numbers.

Gambling is sinful, ladies.

Get your tickets ready.

Ooh, ooh, here it is, baby.

lt's number time.

Tonight's winning

lottery numbers are...

Three...

-Three.

-Seven...

-Seven.

-Eleven...

-Eleven.

-Nineteen...

-Twenty-two...

-Twenty-two.

And forty-one.

Hope this was your lucky night.

No!

And this just in.

Finally, a happy ending

to the kidnapping saga...

of little Mark Wilson.

He was safely returned

to his parents...

Oh, shut up.

After they conceded

to the kidnappers' demands...

and paid

a $5-million ransom.

Still, the kidnappers

remain at large...

and authorities have few leads.

You know, Bill,

that's a lot of money.

Huh. Damn right, it is.

That's it. That's it.

l know what we're gonna do.

l know what we're gonna do.

l know what we're gonna do.

Oh! Oh!

l want you to kidnap him.

K-k-kidnapping?

That's right.

l want you to kidnap his ass.

But why would you

kidnap yourself?

To keep Renee

from getting my money.

Just in case

this divorce settlement...

does not work out in my favor...

l want to make sure

that l get some money.

And you know

what the best part is?

-What?

-l won't be in any real danger.

-You want to know why?

-Why?

Because l'm gonna hire

the man to kidnap me myself.

Oh. Ooh, Malcolm,

you're a genius.

Have you lost your mind?

-No.

-Angela Drake...

Someone has got to teach

Malcolm King a lesson.

l mean, he can't keep

treating people like dirt.

ln fact,

we'll do it tomorrow night.

T-t-t...

Yes, yes, yes.

Tomorrow night at the party.

Damn.

There'll be witnesses there.

But what if they see

everything?

That way, it will look real.

Oh. l think l got it.

l'm gonna draw you

some pictures.

What if you get caught?

Caught?

We're not getting caught.

l mean, these fools that

kidnapped this little boy...

didn't get caught,

and l don't think any of them...

had a master's degree

from Harvard.

Yeah, well, mayb--

Wait.

l thought you went to Yale.

l did undergrad at Yale.

Do you know how humiliated

my parents would be...

if l was implicated in

a kidnapping?

-You can't think about them.

-Exactly.

l'd be like Patty Hearst,

but with way better hair.

Yes. Now you're talking.

You two are seriously talking

about kidnapping someone?

-We'll tape his mouth.

-No.

Malcolm King can't talk.

We'll tie him up.

We'll tie his hands,

we'll tie his feet...

and we'll jiggle him.

We'll just shake

all that blubber...

and we'll just make him beg.

Tomorrow...

Malcolm King...

is getting kidnapped.

Capisce?

l'll see you tomorrow night,

Malcolm King.

Ha ha ha! Fun.

Oh! Aah!

Malcolm, baby, come to bed.

Uh-uh. Not right now, baby.

l'm almost finished.

l'm almost finished.

Ah. Not for nothing, baby...

this has got to be

the best kidnapping plan ever.

Hmm. Look at this.

l'll be last seen

at around 11 :
00 P.M., right?

Mmm.

OK, l'll be back

in a minute. Ha ha ha!

Oh, and then l'm grabbed

outside the benefit at 11 :00.

Look, you see that? Boom, right?

And then l'm taken

to the secret location.

Now, just to throw people off...

a ransom note will be sent

to my gold-digging wife...

demanding $10 million

for my safe return.

Uh-huh. And it's gonna contain

all the usual stuff.

You know,

don't contact the police...

or the media--

blah, blah, blah--

because if you do,

we're gonna kill him.

Hmm. Yes. Now look at Renee.

When she hears this...

she probably

gonna start celebrating.

Then she'll remember

that l cut her out of my will.

Ooh!

And then it sinks in.

No Malcolm, no money.

-Ha ha!

-Wow.

So now she has

to call the only person...

that has access to my money.

Bam! Miss Gladys.

And you know Miss Gladys

would never let...

a hair on my pretty little

head be harmed. Ha ha!

So, Miss Gladys makes the drop.

Ooh. Ooh. Hmm.

This is my favorite part, baby.

Renee--how she lives afterwards.

She slides into

a soul-deadening spiral...

into the bottom of

the deep bowels of the earth.

Look, and then

she livin' in Tent City...

by the freeway in L.A.

by the Staples Center.

That's her living in a tent.

Look at her.

Look at her, look at her.

Look at her.

lt's flawless, baby.

lt's--it's amazing.

-Except...

-Except what?

Except...

l need somebody to actually

grab me outside of the benefit.

Somebody that the police

could never connect me to.

Mmm.

A disposable dumb-ass

to take the dive.

But who?

What about my brother?

Huh?

l'm picking him up tomorrow.

He could use the work.

He's had trouble

holding down jobs in the past.

Heh. Your brother.

What's he like?

Oh, he's--he's super-smart.

He's a real sweetheart.

Everyone loves him.

Heh.

Ahh.

Oh! Guess what?

l got a way

you can make some big money...

but it's a top-secret plan...

which means

you can't tell anyone.

So, it's too bad

your Mercedes got stolen...

and we had

to take a cab tonight.

l know, right?

Thanks for paying for it.

Appreciate that.

Look, when

we're in this party...

a lot of people in there

gonna be calling me Andre...

and that's because, you know...

l tell my employees,

''Call me Andre.''

l don't like my employees

calling me Malcolm.

l understand.

You can't let your employees

get too familiar.

-You are so smart.

-Thank you very much.

-Andre, hi.

-Hi. Hi.

-Hi.

-Hi.

Well, do you remember what

we talked about earlier?

Hell, yeah.

Oh, good. Well, l know

we already set up a time...

but l was hoping we could do it

a little bit sooner.

You just tell me when,

and l'll be ready.

Oh! l love him!

Yeah.

l guess l'll see you then.

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

You're so welcome.

-OK.

-See you later.

-Bye.

-Bye.

Over here, baby.

Damn.

Ohh.

Ahem.

Hello?

Malcolm.

Malcolm! What's your problem?

You disrespect me like that,

staring at her booty?

l'm standing right beside you.

How could you do that?

Why you trippin'?

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