Ladies of the Chorus

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# We're the ladies of the chorus #

# Here to sing and dance for you #

# Our flirty, flirty eyes

Will wink in your direction #

# We will throw you all a kiss

That's filled with sweet affection #

# If you keep applauding for us #

# We will give a better show #

# A great big howdy do #

# From the ladies of the chorus #

# Just for you #

# We're the ladies of the chorus #

# Here to sing and dance for you #

# Our flirty, flirty eyes #

# Will wink in your direction #

# We will throw you all a kiss #

# That's filled with sweet affection #

# If you keep applauding for us #

# We will give a better show #

# A great big howdy do

From the ladies of the chorus #

# Just for you ##

Rita, what was that

you were saying about Al?

When that guy

takes you to dinner,

first thing you know,

you're shadow-boxing.

Oh, so he's no shadow.

He says, " Listen, baby, if you're a good

girl, I'll put you in a Broadway show. "

I suppose he thinks

that's a new angle.

Millie, the guy writes me a letter

and says he wants to marry me,

'cause two can live as cheaply as

one, so long as one of us is working.

Well, what's

the matter with that?

Nothing. Only I'm

the one that's working.

So I said, " Listen, wise guy. I don't

like anybody driving with one hand. "

So the schmo takes his

other hand, off the wheel

and we crash into a tree.

I wonder why my girdle's

getting so small.

Dearie, maybe you're

crowding too much into it.

My dogs are killing me.

Mine are, too.

I got a date

with a cab driver.

Yeah?

Where are you going?

Who's going?

We're parking.

There's no business

like show business.

Ah, shut up.

Would you help me, honey?

Well, look who's here.

The star herself.

The queen of the quivers.

Hi, Bubbles.

Slumming, Bubbles?

It's so seldom we're

honoured by a visit from the star.

Ain't you off

the reservation, dearie?

Maybe she's getting

material for a book.

Oh, can she write?

Turn blue!

Hi, Peg.

Hello, Bubbles.

Want to go on a date?

Oh, he's a swell guy.

Crazy to meet you.

Oh, when are you going to stop being

tied to your old lady's apron strings?

Why don't you let the kid

go out and have some fun,

before her hair turns

as grey as yours.

I don't mind her going out, Bubbles,

but not with your particular

kind of friends.

Course, if she wants to

go, it's all right with me,

but I don't think she wants to go.

Okay, Mother.

I'll just get one of

the others to go along.

Now, which one of you ladies

wants to go on a blind date?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

I'm going to make some coffee.

Would you like some?

No, thanks.

How about some crackers and milk?

I don't think so.

What's the matter, honey?

When are you going to

let me feel grown up?

Letting you go out with Bubbles LaRue

and her men friends,

will that make you

feel grown up?

No. I don't mean those kind,

but I never go out with anyone.

Do you feel bitter about that?

Not bitter, Mother.

Why should you want to go out on a

blind date with some middle-aged guy

who's probably married,

has a family?

There you go judging people,

criticising them

when you don't even know them.

You always do that, Mother.

Look, darling, I...

I'm sick of the idea of not

being able to go anywhere

or do anything without

the written consent of my mother.

I'm tired of being treated

like a child. I'm going to bed.

If I've got to do one more

show, I'm going to drop dead.

I can't make it.

15 minutes. 15.

Ah, shut up.

So I went out, and that

cab driver forgot to park.

He says, " I'd like

to see your show, baby.

"How about a couple of passes?"

The guys I go out with

don't want passes.

They just make them.

Speaking of passes, I've been

knocking down so many lately,

I feel like an All-American.

Get a load of them lilacs.

Dearie, them

ain't no lilacs.

Of course not.

Those are snapdragons.

On her, they look good.

Hi, Peg.

Hi, Bubbles.

Like it?

It's lovely.

You know, you could have

something like that, too.

That party still wants to meet you,

and he's awfully generous.

Why don't you go away

and leave Peggy alone.

I'll speak for myself.

Oh, the voice of the turtle,

finally coming out of your shell.

Oh, go crawl back

into the woodwork.

Why, you gray-haired old hag.

Shut your mouth,

or I'll slap it shut.

Oh, no, you won't.

Oh, no?

Call my mother an old hag.

You...!

Hey! Let go!

Hey, what's going on here?

Break it up. Break it up.

Break it up.

Cut it out, will you?

What do you think this is,

Madison Square Garden?

She ain't going to get away with this!

Just get her out of here, that's all.

Okay, okay. A fine thing, fighting

like a couple of alley cats.

What are you trying to do,

give burlesque a bad name?

Well, if you think...

I'm not supposed to think.

I'm the stage manager.

My job is to get this show on.

Now, beat it onstage,

all of you.

Can't you hear the overture?

Come on, places, everybody.

Come on, now, fix your

make-ups and get up there.

Ever see anybody hurry you so?

All rushed about.

Oh, your wig, Mother.

You, too. Get dressed.

Who are you ordering around?

What do you want me to do,

say please?

I ain't one of your stooges.

Okay, so you're the big attraction for

this cookie, and you get top billing.

So if you'd have stayed in your dressing room and let

these kids alone, there wouldn't have been no trouble.

So the show

is about to start.

So get out there

and get dressed.

Is that so?

Well, I ain't going out there.

I'm quitting. Right now,

this minute, see?

This turkey can fold, for all I care.

Hey, maybe you can get that

old hag to go on in my place.

Oh, she ought to kill them with her

corny wig and her bones cracking.

Oh, Mae.

Joe, I'm sorry.

Forget it.

Bubbles just walked out.

Walked out?

Yeah, quit.

Gee, that's tough.

I want you to go on and do her number.

Me?

Sure.

You can still go out there and knock

the customers cold like you used to.

That was years ago, Joe.

Let's face it...

Yeah, and leave us face it, Mae.

The show must go on, remember?

Okay. It'll go on.

Attagirl.

Use Bubbles' dressing room.

The costumes

are all in there.

What did Joe want?

Peggy, you're going on

in Bubbles' spot.

What? What happened?

Bubbles just walked out.

But, Mother...

Baby, you know

the number backwards.

I'll have the orchestra change the key,

and you can use Bubbles' dressing room.

# Anyone can see I love you #

# Anyone can see I care #

# The way I hold your hand

And smile in your direction #

# Tells the world my heart is filled

With nothing but affection #

# Lock me in your arms for ever #

# That's the place I want to be #

# So anyone can see

That I belong to you #

# And you belong to me #

That's class.

Bubbles never

did it like that.

That's too good

for this turkey.

You put one

over on me, Mae.

Aren't you glad?

Yes, I am.

And the kid stays

in that spot.

Thanks, Joe.

# Lock me in your arms for ever #

# That's the place I want to be #

# So anyone can see

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