Leprechaun's Revenge

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There once were some Irish folk,

but sadly, they were quite broke.

So they packed up their crates

and moved to the States,

and their fortune,

they brought in a poke.

Now, their luck, it came fast,

and their fortunes grew vast,

because they stole the

luck of a creature.

But the thing got away,

and their gold turned to hay.

The town was appalled,

and fools they were called,

for ever daring to gain

from the dreaded luchorpain.

But that all came

long before me.

My part in this tale

starts exactly as it ends.

With a bang.

You missed it high right, toots. You're

too good a shot to miss it high right.

Let's adjust that sight.

Life is all about math,

alchemy, and luck.

With us O'Haras, it's mostly luck.

Yeah, you and that lucky boar's tooth.

It's an irrational world.

I don't make the rules.

I just break them.

Do you really believe all that stuff?

You know, luck and fairies and magic?

I certainly do.

No, but really. You really believe it?

There are more things

in heaven and earth, Henrietta,

than are dreamt of in

your philosophy.

- What?

- Exactly.

- You got one in the chamber?

- No.

Put one in.

There it is. Follow me. Come on.

Pop!

- Karen, you all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

- I thought I told you to follow me.

- I know. I got a little turned around.

You okay? Is she okay? You okay?

She's fine. She just kind of spun around

and knocked down.

Fell down? Honey, sweetheart,

are you doing all right?

You gonna tell me

what happened out there?

I was walking...

How many times have I told you

those damn boars are dangerous!

You don't even have a hunting license,

for Pete's sake!

What the hell do I need

a hunting license for? I know you.

If you knew me, you'd know how pissed off

I'd be if I knew you took her out.

It's one thing to put

your own life in danger.

All right? It's quite

another to put Karen's.

You're crossing the line, old man. What?

She's very capable.

I don't know what you see, okay? But

when I look at her, I see a little girl.

- Well, open your eyes.

- My eyes are open.

And you know what they see?

They see the whole town

saying your pop is a lunatic.

And you know what?

I've been defending you till now.

Because I believe them.

They're right. They're all right.

What? I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

What in the hell?

I should have mowed my cat and dog.

What in the hell?

You want my gold tooth?

Are you sure you're all right?

Dad, I didn't...

Didn't just fall in the woods.

Something attacked me.

Attacked?

What do you mean something attacked you?

An animal?

It got caught in some roots,

I shot it, and it ran.

Well, I'm glad you're safe,

but you've got to make sure you know

what it is you're shooting at, honey.

What?

I'm just glad that Pop's teaching you

to take care of yourself.

Hey, Hap.

Top of the morning to you.

Grab some real estate.

I'll be right with you.

Lucky number seven.

You ready to talk about it,

or I have to wait to number eight?

And don't give me any of that

"we don't talk about that crap."

We don't talk about that crap.

Almost got Karen killed.

What? How?

Hunting. Keening Woods.

Tempting fate hunting over there

all the time. You know that, right?

Haven't found any fairy folk

over there in over 100 years.

But something's wrong.

Don't start with the leprechauns again.

I'm still picking teeth off the floor

from the last fight you started

over those damn things.

Here.

Just be glad you're not old man McHenry.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, his bed-and-breakfast

burned down on Tuesday. Look.

Anybody get hurt?

No, but still...

Luck of the Irish.

No number eights

till you stop with the leprechaun crap.

What can I do for you fine folks?

Starting a bit early, aren't you?

Dad?

Dad?

Hello. Hi, honey.

- God. I think something's in the house.

- You what?

The door's open. The alarm went off.

I think someone's here!

Go to your room right now

and lock the door.

Go. Move. Now. I can't hear you.

- Why aren't you walking?

I can't hear you. -Okay.

Are you there?

Are you... I heard the door.

Are you in?

Sweetie? All right. Now listen to me.

Are you sure about this? Honey?

Yeah.

Okay. Then you do exactly as I say.

You get under the bed right now.

It's the safest place you could be.

Go. Hello?

You're dead, Karen.

You're dead.

You're dead,

and you don't even know it.

Hurry up!

Hey.

Hey. Why didn't you tell me

you weren't coming to school?

Yeah. Sorry.

I only decided a few minutes ago.

What's that?

Some kind of weird plant rash.

Okay. You look weird. What's wrong?

I was attacked.

What? By who?

Some animal out in the woods.

Holy crap, Karen. Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Pop was there. I had my gun.

I shot at it, and it ran.

If you need me to bail,

I totally can.

No, that's fine. Just go to

school, and I'll see you later.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

- All right. Feel better.

- Yeah.

Bye.

- Karen, hey.

- Hey, Karl.

Hey. Yeah,

from the Keening Courier.

I also have that blog that I write

called Strange Happenings.

- I have seen it.

- Cool.

You were at the pharmacy.

You're not feeling too good?

Not really, no.

Well, anyway, I was wondering

if you had a minute,

you want to talk to me about that

experience you had out in Keening Woods?

Because I saw the police report

your dad wrote

that you were attacked by an animal,

but you weren't able

to identify it completely.

So, I was just wondering

if you could describe it for me.

No, Karl, I do not feel comfortable

doing that for your blog.

- Okay. Strange creature, huh?

- No.

- Unearthly? Otherworldly?

- No.

- Karl!

- No. Yeah. But, see...

I was doing research on the area

that you were hunting in,

and I just noticed that it was

right next to the Tree of Tears,

and I was wondering

if anything strange happened.

Wait.

What is the Tree of Tears?

It's right smack

in the middle of Keening Woods.

- You heard of it?

- No.

As legend has it, it's...

The town has some dark secrets

that are buried right there.

You sure you don't want to tell me

about this thing you shot?

- I get 100,000 hits a week on my blog.

- No, Karl.

You weren't really

out there hunting boar, were you?

- What?

- You're an O'Hara. Come on.

And what is that supposed to mean?

It's Pops O'Hara, the O'Hara legacy.

Okay, thanks, Karl.

Okay. I get it.

But if you change your mind

and you want to talk to me, call me,

'cause I'm texting you

my number right now.

- Great. Thanks, Karl.

- That was me on the phone.

Great. Who gave you my number?

Bye.

What the heck are you? No! No!

Top of the morning to you.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold it.

I love you, Karen,

but you can't come in here.

Your dad's gonna

shut the place down in a flash.

Come on. When I was 10, you let me

sit there and sing Oh, Danny Boy

for tourists with Pop.

You didn't have a problem with it then.

Sweetheart, that's commerce.

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