Leprechaun's Revenge Page #3

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Copy that.

I hate Keening Woods.

Ian?

Oh, my God.

Carrie, get the Sheriff

out here right away.

Hey, Karen.

I wanted to come by and check on you,

make sure you're feeling...

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, you didn't have to do that.

I know.

Actually, I wanted to talk to you

about something, if that's all right?

Yeah. Yeah.

It's...

What's that?

You don't remember drawing this?

Well, you did. Right before

you freaked out in the car.

This word, you know what it means?

I connected the letters like this.

L- U-C-H-O-R

P- A-I-N.

Luchorpain.

It's old Gaelic for leprechaun.

- How do you know all this?

- I know, right?

I'm the only kid in the world

who still uses the library.

Yeah. Well, then I must

suck at drawing

because this doesn't look

anything like a leprechaun.

Well, not the kind that we're taught about.

But look at this.

It's the thing

that came at me in Keening Woods.

You must think I'm nuts.

No, I don't.

Well, then you're nuts

for believing me.

Maybe.

Honey, it's a very nice drawing,

but what is it exactly?

A drawing of what came

at me in the woods.

It's what?

Look, I know it sounds crazy,

but I think it's a...

I can't believe I'm saying this.

I think it's a leprechaun.

All right. Sweetie, what are

you saying now, okay?

I think Pop was right.

Maybe there's some truth

to the old town legend about the settlers

bringing a leprechaun with them

from Ireland.

Okay, that's great.

But, honey, listen.

You and I both know

that Pop's not altogether there.

But I know what I saw.

I'm sure you do, but could we please just

talk about this later when I get home?

I'm in the middle of it right now.

- Okay. Bye, Dad.

- Bye.

You all right? What's the matter?

What's wrong?

- Get back in the car.

- I'm fine.

- Get out of here.

- I'm okay.

It's Stanley Howarth.

Looks like his body was dragged up

from his fishing spot.

Is that an animal attack?

We haven't had bears

in here for 60 years.

That ain't no boar.

- What's that?

- What?

Is that a goat?

Not unless it walked on two legs.

What?

Look at that track pattern.

It's a two-legged creature.

I'm sorry.

You all right?

What if I told you that I...

That I just saw a leprechaun?

Are you kidding me? I'd say, "What

the hell is wrong with you?"

Yeah, that's about right.

Leslie?

Leslie?

Leslie?

Leslie?

Are you eating something?

Hello?

Hello!

Is somebody there?

Not enough that you never pay me.

Now you're stealing stuff?

Give me a break, Hap.

This thing is bigger than the both of us.

I should call your son,

have him throw you in the tank.

Wouldn't be the first time, would it?

You stealing my lucky horseshoe

to fight another leprechaun, are you?

Kiss my Johnny Belinda, Wally.

And I have even started drinking today.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Bring it back when you're done.

Hey, Jen.

- Not now, Karl.

- What? Jeez. All I said was hi.

We're working here.

You got any questions, ask Sheriff O'Hara.

I did. He sent me to you.

- I don't know anything.

- That's probably why he sent me to you.

- Knock it off, Karl.

- Can I get a quote?

Remember the last time

I gave you a quote?

Yeah, when the tornado brought the

sharks to the lake, sharknado.

It took me two years to live

that stupid headline down.

I see his cufflinks were ripped off.

Very astute of you, Karl.

You should have been a cop.

So should you.

- Shut up.

- You shut up.

The cufflinks were gold.

Perp ran off with them.

That's all I'm giving you.

Right. The cufflink bandit.

That's probably what happened.

Excuse me?

No, no. It's just, I'm

sure you're well aware

of the case of this happening in town

many years ago.

Spit it out, Karl.

What are you trying to tell me?

1874,14 people were

murdered in Keening,

and gold was taken

straight from the victims' bodies.

You telling me this is

a copycat murder?

Or a supernatural creature.

You know the Keening leprechaun

was reputed to have eaten gold

to heal itself and get stronger?

I can't believe

I'm standing here listening to you.

What is wrong with me?

Get out of here. Go.

There's someone or something

out there offing people,

and I've got the right to report it.

Look, we don't know

who's doing this, okay?

Or what.

The last thing the

people of Keening need

is your boogeyman crap

in the paper right now...

- Or online.

- Or online.

So I take it

that's a "no comment" from the police?

Bite me, Karl.

I'm gonna quote you on that.

Good.

Just make sure you spell my name right.

Oh. my God!

They gave you the nice cubicle.

Change your mind about giving me

the story on your strange creature?

No, I just wanted a few answers.

Join the club.

People are dropping

like flies around here,

and your dad and his team are about

as tight-lipped as a mime with tetanus.

"A mime with tetanus"?

That's the best you could come up with?

You want to talk about this thing

or bag on my metaphors?

Similes.

- Sit down.

- Fine.

Tell me what you saw,

and I'll give you everything I got.

I think I shot a leprechaun.

I knew it!

I knew there was something to that...

That whole legend. Did you...

You didn't kill it, though, did you?

No.

Did you get a good look at it?

Not really,

but I got this.

And I got this.

It's the Curse of the Red Clover.

Yeah.

So, how do I beat this?

You're gonna have to

face the leprechaun yourself.

How?

I don't know.

Well, Karl, what do you mean "face it"?

You mean fight it, kill it,

beat it at a game of chess?

The legend is incomplete. I don't know.

Talk to Pops. What does he know?

Same as you, just drunk.

I wish I knew more.

Me, too. Well, thanks anyway, Karl.

And by the way, I don't want

to see this in your newspaper.

- Or my blog.

- That, too.

Hello, Pulitzer.

Here. leppy. leppy. leppy.

Got some yummy gold for you.

Yum, yum, yum.

Nice.

Okay, more to your right.

Your other right.

Okay.

Hey, what about this?

Really?

Come on, honey.

It's been in the family for generations.

It's lucky.

It wasn't lucky for Grandpa McHenry.

Well, sure it was.

Everyone got out of the fire okay,

didn't they?

I don't know, Mom.

I want my throne to be

beautiful, not that.

Hey, lucky is lucky.

And it's like your grandpa always said,

"There's no use fearing the wind

if your haystacks are tied down."

But okay. Suit yourself.

Hey, Karen, how are you feeling?

Do you want to help us

finish up the float?

No, I just wanted to stop by and say hi

and sorry for freaking out

in the car this morning.

You're going crazy. It's cool.

I'm gonna go home and get some rest.

All right. Feel better.

Okay. Here we go.

Now take good care of this.

All the parade queens

have worn it before you.

Lined with gold.

I hereby pardon you.

But for real, feel better.

Stop by later if you want.

I'd love to, but I already promised

my two favorite subjects

that I'd hang out with them

after they finish my throne.

I can walk you home.

I mean, if you want.

Okay.

Son of a b*tch.

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