Leprechaun's Revenge Page #4

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I just wanted to say thank you

for everything today.

Yeah. I just don't like to

see anybody upset.

So it's not me?

It's the situation?

No. No, it's you.

Come on. You know I've liked

you since fifth grade.

It's pathetic. I know.

What? No, it's not pathetic.

You don't think it's pathetic

that it took you being attacked

by a mythical creature

for me to man up and talk to you?

Fifth grade, though? Seriously?

Yeah. You don't remember?

You kicked Evan Shardoff's ass

when he was picking on me.

Pop was teaching me

how to box that summer.

You are the best.

Who the hell is that?

Come on!

- Is that the horseshoe from our mailbox?

- Yeah.

That's two. Come on. Get in the house.

Get in the house.

I always thought leprechauns were nice

little guys in green with pots of gold.

Yeah, in fairy tales maybe,

but in the real world, they're the

vermin of all the fairy folk.

There's other fairy folk?

There's other fairy folk.

How do you think this town,

founded by a bunch of Irish immigrants,

did as well as it did?

Because of the gold

mine in Keening Gorge.

How do you strike a gold mine in a state

that doesn't have any gold veins?

They captured a leprechaun

in the old country

and then they brought it over with them

when they settled here.

Everyone knows that story.

Yeah, they got its pot of gold, right?

No.

They drained the luck out of it

up at the old gold refinery.

They turned it mean and vicious,

and then it turned on them and escaped.

That's when they hired your

great-great-great-grandfather, Elias,

to hunt it down.

It doesn't sound like

he did a very good job.

He did a great job.

He buried it in the woods

according to Irish legend.

Four horseshoes bound

the leprechaun in place.

They were mounted on compass points.

North, south, east, and

west of the grave.

So, who moved them?

Well, that fire at McHenry's

bed and breakfast dislodged one of them,

and that's when the red clover bloomed.

It's not a boar tooth

on your neck, is it?

No, this was passed down

from generation to generation by Elias.

In case the town forgot,

the O'Haras never would.

So, he buried it in the woods?

That's all we've got to do?

No, that's not all we got to do.

We got to find the four horseshoes,

and then we've got to use

the four horseshoes against him.

We've already got one.

We got two, and they're like

crucifixes to a vampire.

They hate them.

Yeah, I figured that out.

Where are the others?

Well, I think one is at the brewery,

and then the other one is at the fire,

but it's gone missing.

- Then let's go to the brewery.

- No, I'll get the horseshoes.

What you two need to do

is go through the books

and figure out how to attach them

together, so we can lift the curse.

Hey, Pop, when we kill that thing,

I get its tooth.

Deal. I'm gonna get one

for you, too, squirt.

Check this out.

- What the hell is that?

- That is blood.

Green blood? From what?

Exactly. Why don't you get

in there, get a sample?

Yeah, I'll leave that to Forensics.

It looks like whatever this thing was,

it was hiding in the dumpster

when it was wounded.

Sounds like my father.

Why don't you keep it together, boss?

There's a crime scene right there.

It looks like Happy was taking out the

trash when this thing jumped out.

Did we ever get those lab reports

on those prints back from the lake?

Yeah, e-mailed Boston College Zoology.

They said

there's no such hoof in the database.

There's what?

There's no such hoof in the database.

Come on. Hoof!

- What?

- There's no such hoof.

Hoof. And forget your troubles.

Come on. Get happy.

You know it gets weirder in there.

See what I mean?

Yeah. That's weird.

Should I...

Be scared to ask what sort of animal

bleeds dark green,

rifles through a coin case,

and only takes the gold coins?

Yeah.

Yeah, I thought so.

Want to hear a weirder question?

What eats gold coins?

- Sheriff, copy?

- Yeah?

We have a disturbance over on...

Conor, you know, the road by your house.

What?

Witnesses say they heard

a couple of kids screaming,

then a shotgun being fired

by someone in an old Mustang.

That'll be right. All right.

We're on it.

Hello?

Your majesty. Got you.

I'm not that fat!

You realize we're not gonna find any beer.

This place has been shut down for years.

Yeah, but Happy O'Shannon

is using it

to store a whole room full of

gold-leaf green beer for the parade.

This is not

what I thought you meant we were doing

when I offered to hang out

with you guys tonight.

I thought we'd do something, you know,

fun.

With me.

I don't even like drinking.

Yeah, but you're the

one with a car.

Shut up.

F him.

Seriously?

What do you want?

Didn't recognize the car?

I got half a dozen calls saying

shotgun blasts were heard

in front of our house, Pop.

Is that so?

Cut the crap. Where are you going?

I'm going to the brewery.

Why?

Give me the gun.

I got a lot more guns.

I know you do.

Where do you think you got them?

- What are you shooting at?

- I didn't get a good look at it.

No? Really? Well, I did.

What's a leprechaun doing in my town, Pop?

Karen picked the red clover

and released it accidentally.

Now she's cursed.

What do you mean she's been cursed?

Give me the gun back.

I'll get it.

She's got two days.

All we have to do is get it and get it

buried by then, and she'll be okay.

All right. That's all

well and good, all right?

But there's protocol, Pop.

I've got to call for backup here.

I get your backup.

You're in this alone, Conor.

What are you gonna tell your men?

That you're a lepre-cop,

hunting leprechauns?

You'll be the town joke,

just like me.

Face it, pal.

You're in this alone with your dad.

Yeah? Well, fine. All right?

But we're taking my car.

Step away from the vehicle.

Hey, check this out.

- He's called the Green Man.

- Green Man?

Yeah, he's an earth creature.

A lot of these creatures from Irish

folklore, they have different names,

but they're essentially the same.

Wait. Look at this.

You see where they stab him?

Look at this.

See how he heals up?

But wait. Check this out.

Here.

Look familiar?

We're gonna need that fourth horseshoe.

- Nice.

- And you didn't believe us.

Nope. Just didn't care.

Seen beer before.

Have fun, losers.

Dude, check this out.

Did you see those gold flecks?

- Yeah, it's awesome.

- That is crazy.

Ben! You all right? Ben...

Ben!

What are you doing?

What happened? Ben?

Why are we going to the brewery?

To get the third horseshoe.

Where'd the leprechaun go?

I don't know.

- What does it want?

- I have no idea what it wants.

Well, how do you stop it?

You should be ashamed

of yourself, Conor.

Ashamed of myself? For what?

For not knowing your

family history.

Up until yesterday, when I came

face to face with the damned thing,

I thought all this leprechaun stuff

was a bunch of malarkey.

But now, I'm with the program here, Pop,

and you are not telling me anything.

So tell me, how do we kill it?

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