Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood

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Woman:

There was a time long ago

when evil men

with greed in their hearts

would lay siege to the king

that possessed the ancient treasures

of the dark ages.

But the king was in league

with creatures of magic...

forest spirits...

leprechauns.

These guardians summoned

from the earth to protect the gold

from falling into the hands

of evil men...

of wicked men.

The legend of their ferocity

spread through the land

and all would know not to trifle

with these creatures.

The king's reign would

come to an end.

And the leprechauns

would find their home again

back in Mother Nature's embrace.

Except for the myth of the one...

the one that did not go back.

(wheezing, coughing)

(thunder rumbles)

No, no!

(man whispering)

Jacob...

(sinister giggling)

- Where is it?

- (gasping) It's gone.

You can't hide it from me,

Jacob.

The rainbow always

points to me treasure.

Never again, foul creature.

You're going back

to hell tonight.

The Lord will help me send you.

Poor misguided Jacob.

Even if you steal for God

you still have

to pay the devil.

(screams)

Damn clovers.

The Lord is at my side.

In the name of the Father,

I condemn thee

to the valley

in the shadow of death.

- I shall not fear your evil.

- Take the gold! Take it all!

Just don't send me back.

Back into the earth, back into the grave

whence you came,

I banish thee, spawn of Satan!

No!

Help me!

Please!

(screaming)

Help! Help!

(voices whispering)

I'm sorry.

Sorry...

(thunderclap)

Man:

They hiring at the salon?

Fool, it's a woman's salon.

What you gonna do up in there?

I could give massages.

Or I could help with those bikini waxes.

- Bikini wax?

- Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

A little mohawk, a little triangle.

I'm the f***ing bomb with that sh*t.

- I'll hook you up for free.

- Shut up.

Woman:
They got everybody's

hopes up for no reason.

Man:
Yeah, they broke

as a motherf***er now.

Anyone ever figure out

what happened to the money?

No. It vanished.

I guess the project died

with Father Jacob.

Damn. How come every time

something good is about to happen,

somebody always gotta

go and f*** it up?

- # Things were much better... #

- She is fine as hell. Ow!

- Girl, hey!

- Girl what?

# The days are much clearer... #

Be back in an hour or two.

# I can't reach back

and hold it in my hands #

# Those days live on

in my mind... #

(engine revs)

(rap music playing)

Man:
Come on, man,

let's jack this punk.

Know what I'm saying?

Fool must be stupid.

Come here.

- Yeah you, punk!

- Sh*t.

Wassup, Watson?

Don't "Hey Watson" me,

you motherf***er.

What the f*** is this sh*t?

What the f*** is this sh*t?

What the f*** is this sh*t?!

Man, that was a Christmas gift

from my mom.

Shut up, punk!

Turn this fool over.

All right, wait, listen!

Hold on.

Ah, no!

Why you gotta do this, man?

Watson! Listen!

- Come on, man.

- What the f*** is this?

(screams)

(engine revs)

You need something, punk?

I didn't think so, motherf***er.

You better have my sh*t

by the end of this week.

Understand me, motherf***er?

Give me these motherfuckin' shoes.

End of the week, punk.

(whimpers)

# No sleep, gotta stay up,

can't sleep, gotta stay up #

# Won't sleep,

gotta wake up... #

# Here we go, come on, come on,

I like them big, small... #

Hey girl, what you gonna do

with all that cash?

I'm saving up for college,

when I go to Kansas State.

What you gonna do

with your ashy ass in Kansas?

There ain't no black people

in that motherf***er.

Girl, she's going somewhere

over the rainbow.

Excuse you, Grandma!

That child is always trippin'.

Can I get some service

up in here?

Will you be having work done

to your extensions?

(laughing)

First of all, this ain't no

nappy-ass weave.

Go ahead, feel it.

Feel it.

Right, so like I said,

can I get some service

up in here?

Woman:
Hurry up!

Huh-uh, girl, this ain't

what I wanted.

I knew I should've

had Yolanda cut it.

Let me just trim a little off the edges.

I need to layer in the back anyway.

This don't look like no

Julia Roberts.

I look like

Raggedy-f***ing-Ann.

- Yolanda!

- Emily, come here!

I'm sorry,

she keeps changing her mind.

- She said she wanted long and curly.

- Don't back-talk, girl.

We got customers waiting. And if you

can't cut hair faster than this,

you gonna get

your dumb ass replaced.

Looks good on this motherf***er,

right? Wow!

Vroom, vroom!

All through the hood, son.

Where you off to, Jackson?

Nowhere.

(giggling)

Punk-ass nigga drinking Kool-Aid.

It's Powerade,

you illiterate motherf***er.

That's why you don't drop out of school

before you learn how to read.

- Motherf***er, I'll beat your...

- Cedric!

You doing good for yourself,

little brother.

You only on the streets a few months

and already you're a big spender.

Just making ends meet, man.

The only problem that you making is

being on our part of this motherf***er.

I don't wanna fight you,

Watson.

Do we understand each other?

My brother.

Punk-ass motherf***er.

What, nigga?

Yeah, get the f*** outta here.

Nigga shook

like a motherf***er.

"Watson, I don't want

to fight with you." B*tch-ass nigga.

Watson, you had the nigga's heart

going like this, son.

You should've let me pop

that motherf***er.

F*** that nigga b*tch.

Oh, hell no!

- Kill that motherf***er!

- F***!

(hip-hop music playing)

Hey, you want to go out Friday?

Mmmm... no.

- What, you got plans?

- No, I ain't got no plans.

Well, what's up then?

When we going to hang out?

We ain't gonna hang out.

Besides, what we do anyway

if we went on a date?

See, first of all,

we'll go somewhere real nice.

Then we'll drive to the beach,

lay out a blanket...

you can have one of them

tight-ass bikinis on,

then all the dudes'll be staring,

like "Damn, she is fine!"

The only thing is you're with me,

so they would suffer.

- That sounds good.

- For real?

Except for a few things.

One, you ain't got no car

to drive us in.

Two, you ain't got no money.

And three,

you ain't got me.

Oh... hey,

what about Saturday?

(sighs)

No? Sunday?

- Emily:
How about dentistry?

- Woman:
Huh-uh, girl,

I do not want to be sticking my hands

down people's nasty-ass mouths all day.

(pop, hissing)

Woman:
Oh my God.

Emily:
Looks like you're gonna

be taking a bus to school.

Come on, it's just a car.

When is it going

to get better for us, Em?

Why our lives

got to be like this?

We just got the bitter end

of things right now.

But it's going to get better.

- Promise?

- Promise.

Besides, you don't want

that old beat up car.

You're too cute for that car.

I know, huh.

Come on.

I thought you were

saving your money up.

You coming or what?

This building should've fell down

yesterday. I'm not going in there.

If you're scared...

okay.

I'm not scared.

Hi.

Oh.

Good to see you again,

Erika.

Um, it's Emily.

- (laughing)

- Close enough.

What are you laughing at, Lisa?

(Emily snickers)

- How do you know my name?

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