Let's Be Cops Page #2

Didn't I see you in a

herpes commercial, though?

Yeah, you did!

I killed that, right?

So you're an actor now?

No, they found me

in a mall, dude.

No, I've been

mentoring some kids...

teach some football, the

ins and outs of the game.

How to play it right.

You know, just to give back

to the community.

But what's your job?

Yeah, there's

odds and ends.

I told you I did

that commercial.

No, I mean,

what's your career?

I mean, what do you-

Hey, he's O'Malley, right?

That's his job.

Yeah, man.

Right?

You're out of here? Oh,

you guys are going with him?

Oh, you're all going.

What happened

to that guy?

Ryan.

Wait up.

I didn't sell

my game today.

I know, Justin.

L.A.'s not

for me, dude.

I'm moving back

to Ohio.

Are you all right?

Me too, man.

Me too.

This magic moment

So different and so new

Was like any other

Until I met you

And then it happened

Officer!

Officer!

Scavengerhunfl We all

have to kiss a cop!

Everything I want I have

Whenever I hold you tight

This magic moment

That was different.

Yeah.

Freeze!

You guys

over there, freeze!

Everybody freeze.

What the f***?

Carry on.

Everybody be safe.

Carry on.

I got my eyes

on you, Jack.

Carry on.

Goodness.

Justin, you've got

to try it.

Police! Freeze!

Oh!

My bad, dude.

Stupid pigs.

Stay in school.

Yep, they think

we're real.

So, let's be cops.

Well-well-well.

What do we have here?

What you got in

your hand there?

Oh, ajoint.

Officers, this is-

That's some

really good weed, man.

Is this for real?

Go.

Do not exhale, man.

Just keep it in. Be cool.

Be cool, Justin,

we're good.

Even the cops think

we're cops, Justin.

Yeah!

Hey, look who it is.

Look,dude.

I knew we'd see

these d*cks again.

Hey, pull over.

Are you serious?

I'm serious.

They're at Georgie's.

Pull over.

This is not right.

I make my payments.

I don't talk. We have

been here 32 years.

This is my whole life.

This is my family.

Georgie, be smart.

When Mossi admires your

business, you make him partner.

Butlnever

asked for a partner.

He no your ask permission.

You realize we're

not real cops, right?

Just watch my 6.

Your 6?

My backup.

Don't use the lingo.

Oh, f*** you. I'm using the

lingo. The lingo's half the fun.

Whoo!

We're here.

We got reports

of a 418.

What? Why don't you

tell them what a 418 is?

I don't know.

Tell them.

And I gotta say,

you look suspicious, buddy.

Hands where I can see them. All of you.

Hands where I can see them!

What's going on

over there? Come on.

Get my 6.

Don't say that.

What the...?

Hey, you two,

get up here. Now.

Do I know you?

You do now.

Everybody outside. Now.

Now!

Outside!

All right, turn around.

Hands against the car.

Now. Hands against the car.

Dude.

Take my photo.

For what?

For Facebook.

Thank you.

All right,

turn around, guys.

Chop chop, guys.

Turn around.

This vehicle was involved in

a hit-and-run the other night.

And the car you hit

was very expensive.

The car was worth anywhere

between $15,000 and $27,000.

27...

$27,000.

Partner-

My bad.

Give them a sobriety test.

I'm gonna 402 the vehicle.

What's a 402?

Search and seizure.

Hey, guys.

How's your

night going?

Hands on

your head, please.

Do a couple of

spins for me.

That's good.

Okay-

You can't drive around...

with bourbon in your-

What else?

Pelvic thrusts. Hands still

up there, pelvic thrusts.

Yeah, like that.

What? What? What?

Ho-ho!

Yeah!

Now...

bust it wide open.

You gotta see what's

going on back there.

What's going on

back there?

Pop that.

Earn that money.

Dance like you just

found out you're pregnant.

That's laundry for a week.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Yeah!

When did you guys

stop dancing?

And that goes there.

Well, I hope we all

learned a lesson here.

Now who are you?

Who are we?

Why don't you tell these men who we are?

We're the law, b*tch.

Yeah!

That was cool, man.

t felt so good.

Yeah!

You heard him.

We're the law, b*tch.

We're the new

sheriffs in town. Okay?

Now get in your

car and get out.

Now.

Yeah! All right!

This is what

we needed, buddy.

How far are we planning

on taking this, dude?

Why do you ruin everything

by thinking about it?

Just enjoy the night.

Hey, um...

I'm sorry. I had no

idea that you were a cop.

Oh.

No, I'm not really a cop.

What do you mean?

We're more than cops.

Yeah, we help all

the intense units.

SWAT, FBI.

The other day,

we were on a 5150...

and this guy comes off with

a sawed-off shotgun, right?

Bang,bang,bang!

Dude, what are you-

I look behind me

and J-Rock...

puts one in the chest

and two in the balls.

One in each ball.

Wow, really?

No, I don't

shoot testicles.

Do not let that

humble face fool you.

And we all at the force talk about

it. We think he needs a serious...

back massage.

Okay.

Uh, I'm Josie.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too...

Chang.

Oh...

Chang. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chang, yeah.

That's my name.

It's a family name.

Chang you very much.

That was racist.

I'm sorry.

You're funny.

I'm sure I will see you

around, Officer Chang.

Oh, my lord!

Ooh!

She likes you, Justin.

You do not mess

with the law!

You don't mess with the law! Yeah, yeah!

Yeah!

We have problem.

Cops stopped us from

getting Georgie to sign.

What kind of cops?

Hie-cops?

Yeah.

Did they buy you

a donut?

Now find me those cops.

Police

hand signals are crucial

in life-threatening

situations.

The most important

hand signal is Code 4.

Code 4 means,

"All clear.

"We're all good here."

Code 4. All clear.

What is Code 387?

Grand The.

What is Code 287?

Kidnapping.

Watch your surroundings.

Control the situation.

Remember the

3 essential steps of self-defense.

Absolutely. It's all the

technique I told you about.

Okay?

Let's may, Joey.

Try to kill me.

You're the bad guy. You're

the crackhead, I'm the cop. Go.

Come at me.

Come at me.

You stabbed me, you

son-of-a-b*tch! Sorry.

Whoo!

All right!

What you got going, my dude?

Whatever

we want! We're cops!

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t, dude.

I'm getting pulled over.

Play it cool, Chang.

Play it cool? I can't

play it cool. I'm black!

Turn off

the engine and step out of the car.

Okay. I'm getting out.

Hands on top of your head.

Okay-

Are you

wearing an LAPD uniform?

Officer, I can explain-

Turn around!

Spread your legs.

Don't fight it!

Officer,

what are you doing?

Whoo!

Officer!

I'm gonna ride you!

0h, my gosh!

What is wrong with you?

You should have

seen your face, man!

Wow. Where did

you get this?

eBay, dude.

eBay? Yeah,

there's tons of them.

Isn't this so illegal?

No.

Well, I mean, yeah.

Putting the lights on

kind of is.

I had to do that myself.

What about the LAPD sh*t.

Got it online.

Then I went to Kinko's.

Kinko's?

Plastered it on myself.

This is crazy, dude.

Some next level sh*t

is what it is, Justin.

Some next level sh*t.

Load it up and crack a trick

I'm above the law, b*tch

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