Let's Go to Prison Page #7

a lot of things, John.

The most important thing

you taught me,

never trust anybody.

All right, ladies,

we're on lockdown!

Dead.

All right,

get them out of here

before they start stinking.

DUANE:
Here's the rest

of the necessary paperwork.

As Mr. Biederman's only heir,

you're entitled

to the entire trust.

Well,

money can't fix

a broken heart.

Okay.

Well, it's $8 million.

Well, I guess

that will take out

a little of the sting.

(GASPING)

The only way that

I'm getting out of here

is in a body bag.

Pigeon saliva

mixed with bat guano,

and tar as an emulsifier.

It won't kill you,

my friend,

but it will put you

in a stupor.

More of a coma, really.

Up to three days.

Trust me,

that'll do the trick.

What took you so long?

Hey, come on.

Give me a break, baby.

I had to wait for all those

white people to leave.

All right.

Let's go.

Hey, wait a minute now.

Deal's a deal.

If you lose, you die.

If you win, you die.

The difference is

I kill the winner.

It'll be quick.

We're f***ed.

We got to work together.

Okay, but don't f*** me

on this one.

Yeah. Trust me,

that'll do the trick.

Thanks, amigo.

Well, hold on,

now, baby duck,

there is such a thing

as karma.

We don't want to get

on the wrong side of that.

We got the rest

of our lives to live.

I don't think so.

Hey, wait a minute, now.

If it wasn't for this a**hole,

we would've never met.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, thank God.

I got to drop a deuce

like no one's business.

All right,

so that's it, John.

We're even. All right?

Yeah.

Let's go, Barry.

JOHN:
You know, there aren't

a sh*t load of prison stories

you'd wanna tell

your grandkids,

but this one definitely

falls into that category.

Hey,

you think I could

grab a ride from you guys?

(LAUGHING)

Can you believe this guy?

(SIGHS)

NELSON:
Well, Barry and I

are big fans

of Wine Aficionado magazine

and I have to confess

that we are very eager

to hear your opinion.

Be careful for what

you wish for, gentlemen.

That first sniff

unlocks the door.

Oh, and that second sniff

invites you in, sits you down,

and gives you

a foot massage.

Watch yourself.

What is it that I detect?

A trace of ammonia

or some other sort

of disinfectant?

No, it's ammonia.

I see. Well, then

I'm done with it.

You haven't even

tasted it yet.

Precisely.

Well, at least

let us introduce you

to our head vintner.

He came up with...

Gentlemen, I don't

need to taste your wine

nor meet your head vintner

to confidently proclaim

that this wine

is a piece of sh*t...

A little piece of heaven?

Ken Kennedy, head vintner.

See,

we're a family here

and our grapes

are a part of that family.

And they know that

we'd do anything for them.

For instance,

if some outsider,

say, some sh*t-eating

fruit fly were to come in here

and mess with them

in any way whatsoever,

we, and by "we" I mean

me and my brothers

over there,

would stop at nothing

to protect them,

and they know that.

So that is why I think

you're gonna score

Baby Duck wine 100 out of 100

on your next review.

Because you can taste

the love in every sip.

Okay?

Yes, I...

Of course. 100 it is.

Do you hear that?

BARRY:
Drink up, b*tches.

(GAGGING)

Goddamn,

is that sweet.

(MO VE THIS PLAYING)

(SINGING)

Come on!

Come on, John.

John, isn't this great?

Shake that body

for me, Johnny.

Come on, Lyshitski.

(MELLOW SONG PLAYING)

(FUNKY POP SONG PLAYING)

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

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