Life's a Breeze Page #2

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I didn't know you idiots were going

to come along and throw it out.

You don't think

she's serious, do you?

She looked very serious to me.

It went out the front

with the rest, didn't it?

- Yeah. Did the charity take it?

- No.

How can you be so sure?

They don't take beds or bedding.

- So it's gone to the dump?

- Well, what did it look like?

- What color was it?

- What did it look like, Mom?

- It was blue.

- It was cream and blue...

with the letters A-Q-P

printed on it.

It went out

with everything else.

Who was the van driver?

Just a lad I know.

He drinks up in the hill.

- Ring him.

- I don't have his number.

Oh Jesus, Colm, you and your

bloody schemes.

I told you to organize

a professional waste service.

Wait a minute.

Whoever we gave it to would

have taken it away the same.

In fact, if they were professional,

it would already

be incinerated by now.

The guy I got to do it is

probably up in the pub

with everything still sitting

in the back of his van.

Where are we going?

Come on, come on.

Where are we going?

What about Nan?

- I'll take her.

- Come on.

Come on.

To be honest, I'm not sure

I believe any of this.

I mean, you must have changed

your mattress over all those years.

Four times.

When the euro came in,

I took pounds to the bank

every day for six months.

And when were you

going to tell us

about these extensive savings?

I wasn't going to tell you.

It must be a wind-up.

Maybe she's in shock after we

threw out all her junk.

Can you actually imagine

if there was a million

euro in it? Ha.

Jim? Arthur in?

Yeah, he's sitting there.

See if we can grab his keys

from on the bar.

- Was he there?

- No.

Might have gone out for a smoke.

Didn't see him outside.

Jeez, that's brutal, isn't it?

- Three-nil.

- Yeah.

Give us a packet of them crisps

there, will you, Jim?

What do you want Arthur for?

Nothing.

Just looking for him.

Aw, f*** it, Jim.

Bollocks!

What the hell are you doing?

- Get out of that van.

- Sorry, Arthur.

We threw out something

that Mother wanted to keep.

We thought you might

still have it in the van.

You'd want to wise up.

Sorry.

Where did you dump it?

Aw, come on, man.

I apologized, okay?

Gimme me keys.

Where did you offload it?

The recycling depot

in Ring's End.

Okay.

Okay, great.

Thanks, Arthur.

Cheers.

I'll make it up to you!

I'll buy you a pint, right?

- Should we climb over?

- What if there's a guard dog?

Why would they be guarding

a load of rubbish?

It's worth a lot.

You'd be surprised.

They sell it to the Chinese.

I wonder how much

they pay for old mattresses.

Well, are we going

to do something or what?

- I'm not getting over that.

- Needn't bother.

Everything's cleared. They must

have already sent it on.

Where, Colm, to where

have they sent it?

Some sort

of sorting facility I suppose.

You suppose.

I'll go in and talk

to them in the morning.

- Monday morning.

- It's a bank holiday.

Tuesday morning.

Don't worry,

Colm will find it on Tuesday.

Colm is sick.

He couldn't find

a wife or a job.

How's he going to find

my life savings?

All right, go on!

- He will.

- Mmm.

Oh, oh!

- God help me!

- I'll hold you.

Get your hands off me arse.

- Do you want help or not?

- Bollocks!

I hate Sundays.

Why do you want it back?

It's got sentimental value.

Dad used to sleep

on it with her.

Oh.

Happy memories, huh?

Just let it go, love.

It'll be filthy by now.

It'll be no use to you.

Yeah, she's superstitious, too.

Probably easiest

just to find it.

Oh.

Well, if you put it

in the right container,

It's probably gone to landfill

via the depot by now.

People put mattresses

all over the shop here.

Rubble, timber,

damaged furniture,

pre-loved furniture.

Reusable.

Either way it's probably

gone to the landfill.

I thought this was

a recycling center.

It's practically impossible

to recycle a mattress.

They're indestructible yokes.

You put them in the shredder...

and they're likely to pop out

the other side intact.

The pickarinos try to get the steel

out of the springs sometimes,

but it's just not

worth the effort.

Well, where the hell

do we start?

Gerry!

If it did go to the landfill,

how would we find it?

- Jump up and down.

- Pardon?

Well, you wouldn't

be able to see it

'cause they cover everything up

really quick.

Unless they leave the corner

sticking up or something.

But you can usually

tell by the feel of it

there's a mattress in

the ground 'cause it's soft, springy.

Starts right over there.

Just gotta go in.

There's this whole section here.

That's all fresh stuff

just coming in now.

So, see,

if we go up to the office...

Lift up that brown one.

- We're trying to lift it.

- Just push it.

Yeah.

F*** off.

Whoo!

Trick or treat!

Awww!

Arrrgh!

What are you looking at?

What are you doing?

Where's that county map?

I'm going to start

looking up landfills.

Some kids just robbed

the shed out of the garden.

Let them have it.

We never used it

for anything anyway.

Look, I know the scene.

There is probably about a hundred

of the little f***ers.

I'm not going to go after them,

take it off them,

then try and drag it back up

the street and over the wall,

with them all chucking stones

at me and calling me names.

Just let them do

their gathering.

Stop!

Wait a second, you!

Guys?

Stop!

Hey! Hey! Hey, did yous take

a blue mattress from outside?

Shut up, you!

Look, come here, I don't

care about the shed.

Did you take a mattress

from down outside?

Do you want a dig

in the head, do you?

Come on, lads.

Come on, lads!

Come on, boys!

Quick! Quick! Quick!

Here. Did you see anyone

put a mattress in there?

Here, take your hands off him!

Mary, some f***in' weirdo's

at your son.

No, no, no.

Mary!

Look here, mister.

I'll knock the bollocks off you!

You pedo!

I'll tear strips off you

and feed them to the dog!

It either went in the fire

or went in the recycling.

Unless that fella in the pub

didn't send it to the recycling.

What?

If he was lying.

About what?

Sending it to the recycling.

And why'd you think that?

Well, you could sort

of tell, couldn't you?

Well, why didn't

you say anything?

You never listen to me anyway.

Jesus.

Annie, I'm borrowing the car.

I'll drop it back to you later.

I've got the keys.

Eh, come on, get in.

Ah, for flip sake, a ball.

Here, hold that.

Go on, you get in.

You didn't go to the recycling

center at all, did you?

Tread lightly, Colm.

How much do they

charge for a van?

Colm, you gave me 60 quid

to get rid of it for you.

That doesn't buy you the right to ask

how I can make that profitable.

I'll give you another 20 if you

tell me where you dumped it.

What do you want

to know so much for?

Because the thing's

had sentimental value.

It just looked like

old rubbish to me.

Fifty.

You're showing

your hand now, Colm.

How much do you want

to tell us where it is?

Well, that's a big question,

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