Life's a Breeze Page #5

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Everyone's worried about you.

Worried I'm not going

to die soon enough.

And how many milliliters

of milk do we add?

Emma?

Um...

Six hundred?

Are you sure it's not

closer to a million?

Come on.

Hi, Mom.

Come on, say hi to Nan, kids.

- What are you doing?

- Did Colm not tell you?

I'm just going to come home for a bit

while I get a new place organized.

We'll set up in the good room.

You won't even know we're here.

Hi.

Just can't deal with that

bastard bank anymore.

Did you see this?

Yeah.

But did you see this?

It isn't it.

The color's right,

but the pattern is different,

and there's no label

on the side.

It's a different mattress.

What?

Don't tell anyone.

The red pins had

swarms of people

looking through them.

The blue pins are for places

that were closed.

The green ones

don't take bulk waste.

What are yous doing?

Nothing.

Where are yous going?

Nowhere.

Just out for the day.

We should be near it now.

Do you see a sign of any kind?

No, it's more up there.

No, it's here, it's here.

No, it's up there.

No, 'cause we were passing

and then I saw the sign

that said "swords"

and it said like, 12km.

No.

What are you going to do

with the money if we find it?

When we find it.

What are you going to do

with the money when we find it?

What are we going to do with it?

What are we going to do

with the money when we find it?

Spend it.

Hey!

Yous aren't looking

for a mattress, are you?

They already found it.

It was in the papers yesterday.

There was only 600 quid in it.

We'll have to leave

and get a bu...

- Are you paying attention?

- Yeah.

Come on, watch this now.

Okay, so we'll get the bus here.

There you go.

Where have you been?!

Just out for the day.

- Shhhh.

- Don't shush me, Des.

The kids.

Everyone's been

worried sick looking for you both.

We didn't even know if

you two were together.

Well, we were.

Good night.

What the hell were you doing?

Nothing.

Let's just go.

What's this?

Dunno.

It's our map of the dumps.

They found it.

You saw it on the television.

I know what's going on.

Mom's had another senile turn,

and Emma, as usual,

is humoring her.

You're not doing her any favors

by encouraging her.

Come on, you've got school

in the morning.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Oh, that's lovely.

A sure sign you're spending

too much time with Colm.

Look, it's one thing

leading everyone up

the garden path

with this mattress thing

and having the whole country

laughing at us.

But now she's

turned Into a crazy old woman,

rooting around In rubbish tips.

- I mean, enough is enough.

- I'm saving some money

now that I'm not paying

my mortgage any more.

Maybe I could chip in

for a home or something.

We can't put her

in a home, guys.

She's not leaving us

much choice.

Maybe you get a chance

to go live your life again,

but you know all

the mistakes you made

so you can do everything the right way

second time around.

Maybe you get a chance

to live again,

but to do all the things

you really wanted to do...

even if they're

the wrong things.

Maybe you get to go

live your life again

and this time

you know what

everybody else is thinking,

So you know if they're lying,

or if they like you,

or they have some money

hidden in their mattress

and they're not telling you.

Trust me,

you wouldn't want to know

what people are thinking.

It's bad enough what comes out

of their mouths.

Maybe you get sent somewhere

where all the rubbish you ever

threw out is all piled up

and you're stuck there

until you clean it up.

That's where

your granddad is now,

picking fag butts

and whiskey bottles

out of a giant mound

of bookie slips.

Why did you marry him

If he was such a drunk?

He wasn't a drunk

when I married him.

Oh.

Must have been me, huh?

No.

Actually, probably was.

We went down to Kerry

on our honeymoon.

There were barely

even any roads there.

But your granddad

loved the country.

His dad fought in the war

of independence down there.

He was always

telling him stories

about fighting and hiding,

and sitting in pubs through the night

planning ambushes.

I was only complaining

about the rain,

the cold and...

wanting to come home.

But then one day he...

He took me up,

up onto the top of these cliffs

looking out on the Skellig Rock.

It was like the edge

of the world,

with the wind coming in

off the Atlantic.

I could hardly catch my breath.

And he was shouting something

to me over the wind.

And I couldn't hear

what he was saying.

He was probably just saying

it was time to go back, but...

I like to think...

He was saying that he loved me.

I'll miss seeing

what a great character

you turn out to be, Em.

I'm disgusted.

It's like leaving a party

just when it's getting good.

You can't.

Eighty years...

there's no escaping it.

Don't ever do that again... Oh! oh!

- Stop it, I'm serious!

- How much per month?

- Get down from there.

- And that includes the knitting club?

- Yeah, for five days a week.

- Right, yeah yeah.

And it says here

a "gated community."

You do that one more time, you're never

having that drink again, okay?

- She's beginning to wander a bit.

- Right, give me that.

- Okay, I'll come back to you on that.

- Give it to me, will you?

Okay.

Stop that.

You are in big trouble.

You are in big trouble,

Young... oh!

Young lady.

Will you get down

from the table? Oh!

Get down from the table.

Get down from the table now!

Maybe you didn't save up

all that money

and the mattress

they found was yours.

Did you ever even consider that?

I'm senile, is that it?

No, just...

Maybe you made a mistake.

In which case, at least we didn't

throw out a million quid.

Go home.

I'm not in the mood

for babysitting you.

Could you let us off here?

Yeah, no problem.

Look, I'm not in the mood

for wind-ups.

It's past a joke.

Colm!

You got it, you got it!

You got it!

You got it, ha ha ha!

Whoa.

Hiya.

What?

What?!

Go harder!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, mind, Colm!

- Stop!

- Got you.

Ah, no.

Mom.

Mom?

There's some people at the door.

They said they want

to speak to you.

What?

Stop it!

- Okay, come on.

- Mommy, I want to play with it.

Stop!

Surprise!

Whoo-hoo!

What's wrong, Mom?

You're not happy?

There isn't really

a million euros in it.

I just said that so yous'd

take me seriously.

It's more like...

a few hundred thousand.

Better than a slap in the face

with a wet fish!

Out of the way.

The mattress has landed.

Pull it up there.

Annie, don't...

Where did you get it?

Colm found it.

Well done, son.

Come on.

- Who's going for champagne?

- Way ahead of you.

Three bottles of the Bollinger,

coming up!

Guys, it's Mom's money.

You can't start spending it.

Oh stop, will you?

It's a drop in the ocean.

That's exactly the reason

she didn't tell us in the first place.

That's not the reason at all.

She was just keeping it

as a surprise.

Isn't that right, Mom?

Oh my God,

yous are unbelievable.

Shut up you, will you?

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