Life as a House

FADE IN:

A clock alarm SOUNDS over TITLES on BLACK. We HEAR someone

clearing congested lungs, coughing up phlegm; a slight crash

STOPS both the cough and the alarm.

EXT. GEORGE'S BEACH SHACK - MORNING

The cottage is a tiny, peeling paint rat-trap set dead center

on a small ocean front cul-de-sac, surrounded by four massive

post-modern mansions.

INT. GEORGE'S BEACH SHACK BEDROOM - MORNING

GEORGE NELSON, 42, squints and shivers as the spotty morning

light and ocean breeze enter through an open window. Bold

waves crash against the cliffs outside the room. A five-foot

wide stack of hand hewed beams are piled pyramid style,

making movement in the room next to impossible. George

stands shirtless in underwear and coughs again. He steps

over a pile of tools and stands at the window, facing the

sea. A happy sounding tune by Guster, "WHAT YOU WISH FOR,"

begins with the lyrics: 'Woke up today, to everything gray

and all that I saw just keeps going on and on...'

EXT. WEBBER'S HOUSE - MORNING

The post-modern house is three-levels of concrete and glass.

INT. SAM WEBBER'S BEDROOM - MORNING

SAM is sixteen with spiky black hair, a nose ring, two

earrings and painted black nails. The song continues with:

'...sweep all the pieces under the bed, close all the

curtains and cover my head.' Sam looks wasted as he climbs

out of bed and rummages through his dresser, retrieving an

empty bottle of prescription drugs; he tosses the bottle. He

walks to a desk where a half-built model of a house sits

unfinished and squeezes glue into a plastic bag and sniffs

it. Sam enters the closet and digs into a pile of dirty

clothes, pulling out the tie to a robe; he knots it around

the closet pole and then twists it once to form a noose. He

slips his neck through the noose and lowers his body; though

we don't see exactly what he's doing below his neck, it's

evident through his jerking arm that he's masturbating.

EXT. BECK'S OCEAN FRONT MANSION - MORNING

COLLEEN BECK, George's next-door neighbor, is a well

maintained blonde in her late thirties. She walks out of the

angular concrete mansion, grabs the paper and walks back in.

INT. BECK'S KITCHEN - MORNING

This is a minimalist kitchen, with pored concrete walls and

stainless steel cabinets.

Colleen drops the paper on the table and walks to the sink to

wash her hands. The SONG CONTINUES: '...If this serenade is

not what you want, it's just how it is...' Colleen appears

distracted for a moment. She walks outside onto the terrace

with wet hands, then bolts back in, breezing through the

kitchen with purpose.

INT. ALYSSA BECK'S BATHROOM - MORNING

ALYSSA is sixteen and perfect with strawberry blonde hair and

white teeth; her head is partially out the bathroom window.

Colleen bursts in, eases Alyssa aside and with effort, sticks

her head out of the same high open window.

COLLEEN:

This is ridiculous!

We must not see exactly what they see, but out the window and

almost beyond view, a stream of urine arks out from George

Nelson's beach house bedroom, into the pacific ocean some

twenty-feet below. The piss stops. Colleen bangs her head

trying to get it back inside the house.

INT. WEBBER'S UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - MORNING

ROBIN WEBBER is George's ex-wife, still beautiful at forty.

She herds two boys, RYAN (8) and ADAM (7), down the hall.

ROBIN:

Run downstairs and give your dad a hug.

RYAN:

Why?

ROBIN:

He'll be gone for his birthday.

ADAM:

Can we have a party for him while he's

gone?

Robin stops and KNOCKS on a bedroom door.

ROBIN:

I hope you're showered and ready for

school!

A loud CRASH stops Ryan and Adam at the top of the stairs.

INT. SAM'S ROOM - MORNING

Robin rushes in and glances around the room for her son.

ROBIN:

Sam?!

INT. SAM'S WEBBER'S CLOSET - MORNING

The closet pole and a long line of clothes have been felled

by Sam's dangerous whack-off technique; he's on the floor

with the robe tie still around his neck and a pile of shirts

sprawled over him. The song continues: '...come out come

out, wherever you are, would you do it all over right from

the start, and what you wish for won't come true, you aren't

surprised to love, are you?'

Robin stops at the door, trying to figure out why her son is

sitting in a pile of his own clothes. Ryan and Adam join

her, looking equally perplexed.

EXT. GEORGE NELSON'S CUL-DE-SAC - MORNING

George's dog, GUSTER, is doing his business on the lawn of a

modern day robber baron, DAVID DOKOS, who exits his house

with a briefcase. He hops into his Mercedes and proceeds to

chase Guster straight across his well-manicured grass.

Guster easily escapes death and runs off. George walks out

of his shack as David hops the curb, flips him off and drives

away. George waves goodbye.

GEORGE:

Stick it up your ass! Have a nice day.

(glancing around)

Guster!

Guster runs to his side as Colleen rushes out of her house.

COLLEEN:

This has got to stop!

GEORGE:

He escaped. He's going back in.

COLLEEN:

Does it give you some sort of perverse

pleasure to expose your...penis in plain

view of my sixteen year-old daughter?

GEORGE:

There are no windows facing

my...exposure.

COLLEEN:

George, this is the third time.

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