Little Secrets

- 'Bye, Dad.

- 'Bye, Em.

Oh, come on. I just had it.

It's got to be here. Hey, honey,

have you seen the Stainer file?

- No, I haven't.

- It's got to be around here someplace.

Wait a minute.

I'm so Late.

Oh, boy. Okay, all right, got everything.

All right. Okay, sport,

you have a good day.

- Happy birthday, Pops.

- Thanks.

There you go, Dixie.

You're safe with me now.

"My darling Jordan: I've missed you so.

"I've returned from camp early.

"It was just too infantile

for a 14-year-old Like me.

"Life is complicated when you Look Like...

"...Claudia Schiffer.

"Ta-ta for now.

"Jenny."

Come on, honey, Lets get that

care package mailed off to your sister.

Just a sec, Mom.

It's cute. Aunt Lisa gave it to me.

It's Lame, Mom. No offense.

I'm running to the market.

Remember, we're going to the mall Later.

Tiny Sprouts.

Okay.

I'm out of here. Love you.

Pull it up, No, up!

Dearest Emily:

We thought we'd give you an update

of the goings-on at camp,

We've been here for a month now,

and we realized something,

Basically,,,,

We rule this place,

Pull it back, you invalid,

While you've been training

for the midget symphony,,,

,,, we've been doing

rigorous training of our own,

As a warm-up for my in-person

encounter with the e-mail man,

It's crucial that you, too,

change the focus of your summer studies,

Remember Harold,

the loser we saw eating his own snot,,,

,,, at the life-saving movie?

Check him out a year later,

Emily,

My heart aches for the vision

of your beauteousness,

I heard you're developing into

a beautiful young woman and...

That's enough, Less is more,

Call me,

Get your heinie back here

for the last two weeks of camp,

You can brush up for your audition

when you get home,

And that, Emily Lin, is the master plan,

- Love, Laurel,

- And Jenny,

P, S, Wwhap the o wit wwa!

Hit it, Shane,

'Bye, Emily! 'Bye!

I love you!

Thirty-five days until the swamp thing

is expected to hatch,

Today we're shopping for its bassinet,

My rabbit cage would serve the purpose,

The mother-to-be thinks not, I know,

The wounded toenail is much better,

I'll be playing the Mendelssohn

for the orchestra,

It's what my teacher played

to get into the symphony,

It requires a ton of work, and I don't think

I'll be able to make camp this summer,

About Harold,

I'd like to know if he plays an instrument,

And don't worry, even though the distance

may part us, I'll still never forget:

Wwhap the o wit wwa!

Okay, 'Bye,

- Do you think she can fix this?

- I don't know if she can fix that.

- Hello, everybody.

- Hi, Emily.

All right, Lea, you're first.

Divulge your secret.

I found a kitten. I named her Dixie,

and she's Living in my room.

The thing is, I'm not allowed.

My sister's allergic, so I can't tell her.

But I had to tell someone.

Did you get kitty Litter?

Look at all those kids.

Those are toddlers. I am pre-adolescent.

I'm counting down for takeoff.

- Congratulations. Where to?

- China.

I'm digging there.

You'll be my contact here at base.

Your codename is SK-14.

Once I've departed,

you'll deliver a message to my parents.

Tell them I'm safe,

but not where I've gone to.

Can I count on you, SK-14?

Your secret's safe with me.

This is Jenny's. I gave it to her.

Can it be restrung?

You saved my Life when you repaired

my mom's antique brooch.

Don't worry,

Jenny never wears it anymore.

When she gets back from camp,

she'll never even realize it's missing.

- Anything else?

- Yeah.

You're the best.

Is it stealing if you use the money

to buy a gift for the person you stole from?

What did you do?

I got my Dad cologne at Greenbacks

for his birthday...

...with the money I stole from his wallet.

Next time you should make him a gift.

Parents Love that.

Anything else, Gregory?

I used the change to buy candy,

and I'm not allowed to have anything...

...besides fruit juice gummy bears.

So I hid it in my sleeping bag case.

You have nothing to worry about. Parents

snoop under drawers and mattresses.

Your hiding place

shows a stroke of brilliance.

We just moved here.

Wait till next week to destroy it.

Go upstairs and unpack, okay?

Mom, I can't find my tennis shoes.

- Look harder, David.

- Dad, I've Looked everywhere.

He can't go off to tennis camp tomorrow

without tennis shoes.

Just give me a sec to find my keys, okay?

- Look at the little bears.

- I Love that.

Emily. Which one do you Like?

I'm trying to think neutral,

since we don't know the baby's sex, but...

This one, but I'm getting claustrophobic.

Ill wait outside.

Excuse me.

My mom abandoned me in a Linen sale

and I'm Lost.

Can you tell me where the escalators are?

It's complicated. Listen carefully.

Take about ten steps that way.

Thanks.

- Do you play an instrument?

- Yeah.

The harmonica.

- Checking out the neighborhood. 'Bye.

- Easy.

Nature calls. Grab the stuff

out of the trunk. I'm not going to make it!

Who are you? And what are you doing?

None of your business.

Of course it's my business.

These are my mother's roses.

What is this?

Nothing.

It's a knight. Part of a chess set.

Looks expensive.

Irreplaceable. I have news for you:

There are things

that make sense to cover up.

Like drinking glasses, dishes, maybe

costume jewelry that's rarely even worn.

If you think your parents won't notice

their missing chess piece...

...you're wrong.

They'll think the movers lost it.

They'll be upset,

but they won't be able to blame me.

If you want to properly conceal

the evidence come with me.

Come on.

- I need your name.

- Philip.

Did you just say, "fill it up"?

No, I said, "Philip." Like P-H-l-L-l-P.

You mean, Philip.

- Where'd you get that strange accent?

- Chicago.

Interesting. I'm Emily.

A milli-what?

Like a millimeter or millipede?

I don't get it.

Emily, Like Emily Dickinson

or Emily Bronte.

Who are they?

Only the most famous female poet

and author ever to Live.

You owe me 50 cents.

- For what?

- My services.

I've Labeled your item

in case you ever need it back.

Okay, there you go.

Wait, is there tons of broken stuff in there

of other people?

Is that what those kids were doing

waiting in Line?

They tell me their secrets,

which often involve broken merchandise.

How does somebody become

a professional secret keeper?

I didn't know anybody

who could keep a secret...

...and I've never spoiled a secret

in my entire Life.

So I knew it was a marketable skill.

Anything of yours in there?

You know my secret.

Didn't you hear me?

I keep secrets. I don't share them.

Especially my own.

The girls Look Like

they're having fun at camp.

I'm not sure about Harold,

but I think you should go up there.

I don't believe you, Mom.

You watched my video?

You Left it on the coffee table.

I was curious.

That's worse than reading my mail.

I'm sorry, Emily, I didn't know.

Rather than ship me off, why can't you

encourage me for what really matters?

You have our encouragement.

Can I please be excused?

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