Look Who's Talking Page #5

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just peel off the outer layers.

Who wants a surprise?

Could be lunch meat or peaches.

The point is this: Just because

it's free, don't mean it's no good.

- Do we live like kings, or what?

- We sure do.

Again!

Wait a minute.

- I'm sorry, I really do want this.

- I do, too.

- It's Mikey.

- He's asleep.

I have to be very clear

on the choices I make for him.

I can't make any more mistakes

that are going to hurt Mikey.

- But I'm crazy about Mikey.

- I know that I was leading you on.

You're such a good kisser and

I haven't had sex in a long time...

Goodbye. Please... Goodbye.

- Mollie, could I talk to you?

- Hold just a minute, please.

Just between you and me,

what's with you and Chubby Charles?

What do you mean?

Pearlman's doing the bank recs.

Rubenstein's doing the quarterlies.

Now Albert's returns are due.

So what's with you?

I traded Rubenstein two accounts

for the Chubby Charles account.

I can't do it anymore...

It's personal.

We're accountants...

we're not personal.

- I don't...

- You've worked for him for years.

Now, with all the new tax laws,

you desert him.

- You don't understand...

- I want you up there tomorrow.

Don't give me that look.

And you, get back to work.

Please, give me a second chance.

This has been like a bad dream.

I felt so guilty

leaving Beth and the girls.

You've been such an a**hole,

I'd have to torture you.

That's okay. I want you to.

- Mollie, Mollie...

- What?

- I'll burst if I don't kiss you.

- Tough!

Albert can see you now.

- Mollie, how's Mickey?

- Mikey.

- Is he talking yet?

- No.

Crawling?

I remember Astrid crawling...

I'm not interested in your stories.

- I've been meaning to talk to you.

- I'm here to do your taxes.

Eyelash tinting,

body wraps, facials...

- You can't deduct any of this crap.

- And the exercise instructor?

Not unless she suffered any injury.

What's the little woman been up to?

Is Priscilla sick?

These doctor bills are for her.

Therapy.

Beth communicaes with the dead.

It really frightens Priscilla.

We're all seeing a psychiatrist now.

I've been learning a lot.

- I'm happy for you, Albert.

- I know you've been through a lot.

You've got to believe I love you.

I never meant for this to go bad.

- It just turned out that way.

- It took $20, 000 to find that out?

- Do you have a picture of Mickey?

- Mikey!

- I think about you two every day.

- You'd never know it.

I try to call, but I can't do it.

I'm too ashamed.

I'm afraid of what you'll say.

I've been so confused.

- He has my eyes.

- I know.

It's confusing loving someone

who looks like someone you hate.

Could I see him?

All right.

I'll be home this evening.

Next time you talk to your mom,

put in a good word in for me.

Hit me. Hit it again.

- No... yeah?

- Hit it again.

- I know what I'm doing.

- Damn! You won again.

I told you I could play. I've been

thinking about this daddy business.

I want you to be my daddy.

I'll tell Mommy.

- Who is it?

- Mollie?

- Is Mollie here?

- No, she's at aerobics class.

- Is Mikey here? I'm his father.

- His father?

- Are you the sperm donor?

- I'm the kid's father?

- He's from artificial insemination.

- I've known Mollie for years.

- I have a key.

- We're changing it.

- What?

- That's my kid in there. Let me by.

If you are the father,

answer me a few questions.

- When was he born?

- July third.

What's his favourite toy,

Fred or Barney? Fred?

No, Barney. How many diapers

does he go through a day? Six.

- A father should know.

- How much is she paying you?

- Go play some video games.

- Don't give me that sh*t.

Come on, Dad. Let's go.

Go for the body!

Get out of here!

Yes, that feels good.

- What happened?

- Who's Albert?

- Why, was he here?

- Is he Mikey's father?

- You lied about the insemination.

- He was married.

Do you love him?

- What?

- Do you love him?

I don't know who I love.

The only thing that matters to me

is who's best for Mikey.

Albert is successful, responsible

and he's good to his other kids.

- I don't want him seeing Mikey.

- Don't start pulling this on me.

- He has a right to see his son.

- Where has he been all year?

- You are not his father.

- I'm the closest thing he's got.

Look at you. You're like a big kid.

Are you responsible enough

to be a father?

Is getting pregnant by a married man

responsible?

- Stop it.

- You stop it.

I've seen you use Mikey to push guys

away, and now you're doing it to me.

- Get out!

- I live here!

Can a person past

a certain age change?

Daddy's lipids fell to 185.

I'm not talking about cholesterol.

Can someone become nicer?

I don't know.

When you met Daddy at that dance,

did you know he'd be a good father?

- I liked the look of his uniform.

- They all wore uniforms.

I didn't like

the sailors' bell-bottoms.

You had no idea if he was

a mature responsible person.

If I thought like that, we wouldn't

have had so much fun the first week.

You're grossing me out.

Don't talk about sex and Daddy.

Hi, Lupe.

I just want to talk to Mikey

for a minute.

Hey, Gerber-face, high-five.

Look, Mikey... I don't know

if I can keep coming to see you.

- What's the matter?

- It's your mom.

She's got this crazy idea

that I wouldn't make a good father.

She probably wouldn't

have picked my father, either.

I think he did an okay job.

Want to hear some fatherly advice?

Hi, Lupe.

- The man's in the baby's room.

- Okay, I'll write you a check.

He said, "Don't hit girls,

even if they're asking for it."

What about pushing them?

He'd say, "Finish your meat,

you know how much that cost?"

The one that sticks out the most

was probably...

"If your friend jumps off a bridge,

does that mean you've got to?"

To this very day,

I still use that piece of advice.

It doesn't amount to much.

A good father keeps the mother happy

so she doesn't drive the kids crazy.

She called me a big kid...

She's probably right.

You're one year old

and my best friend in the world.

Anyway...

- I'll miss you.

- Don't be sad. Here, take this.

- No, I want you to have it.

- Okay, thanks.

He'll take good care of you.

- We're going to see Daddy today.

- I was just thinking about James.

- The blue or the lamb?

- They both look pretty lame.

- The lamb?

- Not lamb, lame!

Please don't make me wear clothes

with animals on them.

I don't like this.

It makes me look stupid.

- You look great.

- I feel like a retard.

Look at this room.

Look at these guys.

I bet I could take those apart.

Little metal things... I'll stick

them in those little holes.

Mollie, hi. This must be Mikey.

Hiya, fella. What are you doing?

- Aren't you a handsome...

- Milk in the eye.

Bull's-eye!

It's all right.

It's just milk, it won't stain.

- He's beautiful. He looks like you.

- A lot of people say that.

I know the circumstances

you had him under were terrible.

- But I know it wasn't a mistake.

- I bet he's glad to hear that.

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