Look Who's Talking Now Page #3

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Okay, but nothing fancy.

Just a paper napkin place.

Okay. Just don't sound

too thrilled about it, will you?

It's not that.

I was just thinking about Mikey.

- He's upset and...

- Why?

Mollie's gonna hate me for this...

...but I think we're looking

at the D word.

Divorce?

No.

Dog.

Watch it, p*ssy. I'm walking here.

Cats. Can't live with them,

can't eat them.

They're ruining this city.

Look at those. Extra crunchy.

Wrap them up, I'll take them to go.

Step on me, lady,

you get a nose in the crotch.

Hey, pal.

This was sitting on a park bench.

Next to some guy who was eating it.

Catch you later. I got a date

with a cute Pekingese on Park Avenue.

Face like a Mack truck,

but what a body.

What can I say? I'm a hound.

Gotcha. Come on now, boy.

No trouble.

Okay, I didn't mean

to steal that Frisbee.

I thought two calzones were mating!

Lousy dog cop!

Hey, liver. Jeez, I could

get used to this.

You got liver? Hey, fellas!

Spot here got liver.

- He got liver?

- That's a shame.

Already? That's a crock.

- What's wrong with liver?

- That's your last meal, amigo.

Then it's a big nap.

What did I do?

What did any of us do?

I bit a cop.

I got to talk to someone.

Too late. Here comes Dave.

Come on. Can't we work out

some kind of deal?

I got bones buried everywhere.

I'll share them!

- Hey, Dave. You big dumb clod!

- Hey, ugly!

You can't even pee right.

Can I take a dump in your hat?

Sorry, fella. It's time to go.

Don't let him see your fear.

Don't give him the satisfaction.

- Kill Dave!

- Kill Dave!

- What are we doing?

- We're going underwear shopping.

- I don't like underwear.

- You love it.

- I hate them.

- You love them.

Look alive, guys! We got masters!

Go ahead.

I'm neutered.

I've humped my last leg.

I will follow orders!

Yo, I can help you meet chicks.

I got this Lassie thing down.

You can call me Spot or Measles.

Hey, kid!

I do everything. Tricks! Roll over!

What about this guy?

Not a boy. I hate boys.

He looks pretty cool.

- He looks like a hot dog with ears.

- I resent that!

Here's the thing.

I got puppies out there.

Maybe. I don't know.

I've been around.

You know how it is. Give me a break.

I promise I'll go straight.

I'll even help out some blind guy

with a pencil cup.

I know that smell. Cookies and dirt.

- That's my kid!

- I said, let's move it.

Move on this.

Kid! You know me, don't you?

Get me out of here!

Him, Daddy. I want him.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You want him?

Here you go.

- We'll take him.

- This one's scheduled to be destroyed.

What? No way.

Take me, I'm yours!

- Well, he's been reprieved.

- Yes!

Okay, here we go.

- What are you gonna name him?

- Rocks.

Rocks? How come Rocks?

Because that's what he left

in the back seat.

Sorry about that.

Oh, man!

Here we are. This is where we live.

Warm. Dry. No puddles.

Wait a minute. Nice cushy thing

to sleep on. A little lumpy.

Maybe I'll just dig out the middle.

Honey, is that you?

Hello, James.

What's going on?

Samantha has brought us

a big surprise.

Really for Mikey and Julie.

What a tiny kennel.

I've seen enough.

Bring the car around.

Her name is Daphne.

She's purebred and trained

at the Radcliffe of obedience schools.

Radcliffe, wow.

Daphne, sit.

Voil.

- Aerobics.

- But where's my personal trainer?

Isn't she a wonderful dog?

I'll have my manicure now, please.

- But I like Rocks bet...

- A dog!

A dog!

Mikey, wow. Finally, a dog.

Play with your rocks later.

But as I was just saying

to Samantha...

...we wouldn't dream of taking

her precious baby away from her.

And as I was telling Mollie...

...we're travelling so much...

...she doesn't get enough attention.

- I think it's a great idea.

Good.

Radcliffe, honey. Radcliffe.

Bye-bye, sweetheart.

Bye-bye? You can't leave me

with these people.

They haven't been properly trained,

or groomed, or...

I'm getting a migraine.

Goodbye, Mollie.

I'll be sending over her things.

- See you later, James.

- Thank you. Bye-bye.

Things? A dog has things?

She's just being nice.

The nerve! Coming in

and treating us like a kennel.

She dumps this dog on this family

without even consulting me?

Look what we got, Mom.

His name's Rocks.

Den. Don't even think

about loving on me, pal.

We already talked about this.

Yes, we talked but we didn't decide.

Now we have two dogs.

If I take Rocks back,

he'll be put to sleep.

Take...

What's her name?

- Daphne.

- Take Daphne back to Princess Di.

I can't insult Samantha.

This is the best job I've ever had.

This is your responsibility. You

brought these dogs here, you fix it.

Or I will fix you.

All right.

This is my chair, this is my cup...

...and this is my stinky

brother, Mikey.

Schwing!

Hello, baby!

Oh, my! What a set of paws.

Powder Puff, how about we nose

through the garbage?

- What cat dragged you in?

- The kid sprung me from the joint.

I don't associate with mutts.

I've got papers.

I been hit by those.

Hurts like hell, huh, Daffy?

It's Daphne, you tick magnet.

Jeez! Like you never sniffed a butt.

Why don't we keep them both for now.

The one that works out, stays.

The one that doesn't,

we find another home for.

- I don't know about that.

- Come on. Look how happy they are.

Wasrt there ever anything

you really wanted?

I'll never have breasts!

Oh, honey.

Okay. But the one that

we choose not to keep goes.

- Goes.

- Goes.

- Goes.

- Swear.

Don't. I don't want you

to love me yet. Not yet!

I'm telling you.

You're not in the clear, buddy.

Look! They like each other.

- Mongrel.

- B*tch.

Look, honey, they like each other.

I don't need a bath.

I just lick down there.

Trust me.

I smell worse wet than I do dry.

- Cut it out! I'm warning you.

- Quick, Mike, grab his tail.

What, no bubbles?

And I see there's no slice of lemon.

- Drink it.

- Take it away!

I don't know why they put my dish

up so high, but they serve good food.

Look at this cut of meat.

Here we go. Gonna play

"chase the meat" again.

Eating and running

are my two favourite things.

I'm gonna eat this meat

and save you the fat, big boy.

Bad dog! Stop!

I'm frizzing.

Brush while you blow, please.

Look at your hair. I can't believe

I trust you with mine.

What's this guy doing here?

Gonna get some treats from

the cabinet? Get some for me too.

Hit the clicker!

- Daphne, sit.

- Oh, no, it's way back like this.

Daphne, beg up.

- Start with one hand.

- Two hands.

If you insist.

Rocks, roll over.

Roll over, like this.

You guys are total entertainment.

It's better than chasing hubcaps.

Do it again.

- Julie, paw.

- Daphne, paw.

- Good girl.

- Good girl.

You're getting so much better.

- No!

- What?

No!

What?

- No!

- What?

Get that skinny man out my spaghetti.

- Someone's playing with their food.

- No, no!

Kid, shoot one of them round,

meaty things my way.

Begging is so gauche.

Come on, come through for me,

will you?

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