Look Who's Talking Now Page #4

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Come on, come on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, he scores!

Hey! He threw a meatball!

- Squealer.

- Spaghetti face!

What is that?

Ice cream headache! Pain! Pain!

Sorry, guys.

Chicago.

You kids behave yourselves.

My poor nerves.

- Little high-strung, aren't we, Daffy?

- I'm just sensitive.

You've got that skeevy inbred look.

Mom knew her cousin

a little too well, huh?

Better than your mother

knew your father.

Put a sock in it.

I hope you won't be gone very long.

Hey, time for my walk, remember?

I'm getting kind of squirmy here.

Okay, you guys are busy.

I'll go right here, no problem.

- No!

- What is he doing?

Bad dog.

Right hand, green.

Unbelievably, incredibly,

endlessly bad dog!

I just marked that spot.

I'll do it again tomorrow.

- Hello?

- Hi, honey.

- How are you?

- This has been a week of hell.

- Is it Daphne?

- No, it's not Daphne.

It's that other moron, Rocks.

He pees all over...

- He'll grow out of that.

- All right, he also is a shoe gourmet.

He only eats Charles Jourdan,

never my tennis shoes.

Daddy.

I'm sorry. I wish I could be there.

I feel like I can train him.

Doctor Dolittle couldn't train

this dog.

So, what do you think, hon?

We should find him a new home?

- Oh, man! You win again!

- But of course.

No. I'll give him one more chance.

Great. If he chews anything else...

...he's gone. Okay?

- Okay.

I miss you. I'm excited about

seeing you tonight.

That's why I'm calling.

We're going to France tonight.

France? James...

...you've already been gone

for two whole weeks.

I've gotta go board now.

All right. I'll tell the kids.

Come say bye to Daddy.

Honey! What were you doing?

Flying.

Flying? Honey, you can't fly.

But those people can.

That is make-believe, honey. Remember

when we talked about make-believe?

The basketball man isn't make-believe

and they can fly.

Do you like them

because you think they can fly?

They can't fly, either.

But they can jump really high.

Daddy flies.

He does fly.

But, honey, he flies in an aeroplane.

Daddy doesn't fly... Daddy.

James?

James. Honey?

Rocks!

- I like yours.

- Yeah, it's so cute.

Where's your collage?

- Didrt do it.

- Miss Craig is gonna slime you.

- Big deal.

- Excuse me, ladies.

Why didn't you do your assignment?

It's stupid. We had to make a collage

of things we asked Santa for.

But there is no...

Don't say that in front of Julie

or anyone in class.

You don't want to upset

everybody, do you?

- It's the truth.

- What is?

Nothing, honey.

Mike, please, just do me this favour.

Don't say anything to anybody.

- Okay.

- All right! Bash Brothers!

- All right! We are Bash! We...

- Mom. Mom!

You're a girl.

Sorry. He'll be back soon.

- Did he win at the dog races?

- Ma.

Where'd he get the jacket? He looks...

- Hot. The word's "hot."

- Hot. Hot.

Excuse me. This is a special evening.

I'd like a bottle of Cristal.

And this is for the table.

He's picked up a few things.

What?

Six months in Miami, I return

to the The Twilight Zone.

You've had faith in me

all these years.

What better way to show my thanks

to my mother-in-law...

...than to...

- Rub her nose in it. I get it.

You made good. I'm impressed.

Okay?

Okay. Thank you.

Gentlemen, would you excuse me?

There's Samantha!

- Great.

- What?

I feel so schlumpy around her.

Do I have dog hair on me?

Hello, James.

This is my mother-in-law.

Rosie, Samantha.

- How do you do?

- Hello.

- And you know my wife, Mollie.

- Yes, of course, Mollie.

- Nice to see you again.

- Did you ever find a job?

I'm starving. Let's order.

Do try the duck.

Samantha ought to know.

She recommended the place.

You did?

How else would we get

into a place like this?

- Thank you.

- My pleasure.

Have a lovely, lovely evening.

Nice jacket.

She's teasing me.

She bought this jacket for me.

She bought it for you?

We were in France,

at a fancy restaurant.

I couldn't wear my uniform, so she had

her driver buy me this jacket.

Of course.

Gosh, she forgot her pocketbook.

Hey, Samantha!

Is it just me, or was she...

I wanted to slap her teeth out.

It's obvious, isn't it?

She practically offered him

Taster's Choice.

I don't know what to do.

I know people.

We could have her audited.

That is not a good idea.

It's my fault anyway.

I pushed him to make him exactly

what I wanted him to be.

And now he is. I hate it.

He's a keeper. Talk to him.

I know it.

Can you excuse me?

Good. Make a scene.

Here, throw this in her face.

Ma, I am just gonna call the sitter.

Hello?

Yeah, everything's cool.

All right, bye.

You hooligans.

Well, what do you do for fun? Shed?

At least I don't have vermin

building condos in my fur.

At this rate, you won't have fur.

That kid's giving you a bald spot.

My mistress is kind.

Your child is demon spawn.

"Your child is demon spawn."

Quit brushing her.

She already looks like a Q-tip.

Your dog smells like a diaper.

- Does not.

- Diaper dog! Diaper dog!

Q-tip-head dog.

Stinky dog!

Bald-butted dog.

I got it! It's mine. No problem.

I'm homeless!

What happened?

You mongrel wretch!

- Get real. It's just a box, Daffy.

- Daphne!

Come on. I'm sorry.

- Look, I can fix it.

- I never want to see you again!

It'll be tough. I live here.

We'll just see about that!

Let's see.

She yells the most

when he gets the ones in boxes.

What does he see

in these smelly things?

Courage, Daphne, courage.

You'll be rid of him soon.

You think there's nothing weird about

buying someone dinner and clothing?

If a guy asks me to Le Cirque

and buys me a teddy, it's okay?

A jacket's not a teddy.

This is a teddy.

I'm trying not to be a shrew

and scream and hate her guts.

Although I wouldn't mind seeing

her decomposing body by the river.

You don't have to socialize with her.

Just keep your eyes on the road...

...or the sky or whatever you keep

your eyes on.

Answer me this:

Why is it that I can trust you...

...when you had an affair

with a married client?

That was 8 billion years ago!

I never see him.

How do I know that? I can only trust.

I have faith in you.

You don't have much faith

if you keep bringing it up.

I don't keep on bringing...

Oh, honey, listen to us.

After six years, we're still jealous.

- Isn't that good?

- I don't know.

It's you I like. It's not Samantha.

I like you.

Honey, I'm crazy about you.

I love you so much.

Watch out for her. She's real flirty.

I know about girls like that.

I was one.

- Okay. I promise.

- Okay.

He did it!

Mom, it was her fault.

I'll put them to bed.

Honey, don't ruin it.

Don't ruin the moment.

- I don't want to go.

- You have to go.

- But you don't trust me.

- I do. I do trust you.

I don't trust her.

You two, come on.

Hi, honey.

- Where are you?

- I'm in London.

I'm in San Francisco, honey.

I'm in Reno.

We're in Dallas.

What do you mean I'm being audited?

It's not even tax season!

Mom? Where's Dad?

He'll be home soon.

Will he be here for Christmas?

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