Look Who's Talking Now Page #5

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Your dad wouldn't miss Christmas

for all the stars in the sky.

What about the moon?

The moon too.

Bedtime.

Bedtime.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

Good night.

- She thinks we're in Dallas?

- She bought it.

- Dumb cow!

- Dumb cow!

And what do you want

for Christmas, little boy?

Well, Mollie...

...I never asked you what you want

for Christmas.

Santa, I can't think of any present

I'd rather have than you.

Oh, Albert!

Come here, you studmuffin!

Honey, what are we doing?

I don't know. This isn't us.

We'd never do this.

Do you think we're dreaming?

I think it's one

where you know you're dreaming.

Excuse me,

but we were having an affair.

Does this mean we can do

whatever we want to do in the dream?

Excuse me.

You see that?

I told you they werert real.

Honey, you know I can't dance.

You can dance. This is our dream.

Oh, James.

Ex cuse me. Mistress?

Please wake up.

I need to be walked quite badly

as a matter of fact.

Oh, well, I'm a lady. I can hold it.

No, I can't, I'm desperate!

Oh, God, she's in a coma.

Please wake up!

I can't have an accident like

a common mutt. It's too demeaning.

Baby, you are so jumpy.

Let her alone. She looks happy.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

- I'll take you out.

- But how?

Come on.

But we need a master to open the door.

Want to bet?

How did you do that?

I know things not taught in school.

Ex cuse me. I was valedictorian.

Give it up, kid. Come on!

What about my leash?

You haven't lived

till you try it naked.

Don't get fresh!

- How about dinner out?

- I'm not hungry.

You dolls always say that.

Forget your diet. Let's get Italian.

No. I'm so fat these days,

I look like an English sheepdog.

You nuts? You look great.

When I was young, I had one

of those greyhound hardbodies.

- What do you mean? You're a kid.

- Well, I'm pushing 7.

Seven?

You don't look a day over 5.

Do you really think so?

Well, maybe a little Chinese.

I know just the place. Follow me.

Wait until you taste

their moo goo gai pan.

- Great.

- Hope it's on the menu.

But wait. Where are the dog dishes?

We don't need no dog dishes.

- What are you doing?

- Getting us takeout.

How clever.

The green tea ice cream goes great

with lobster sauce.

- Oh, ex cuse me.

- Good, huh?

What do you think

about the world at large?

I must admit, there's a certain

exhilaration to this leash-less state.

When I think about it, Samantha

never let me run free, or petted me...

...or played with me. Actually, I

never liked her. You know what else?

I hate this haircut.

My butt is freezing!

Nice butt.

No offense, no offense!

It's getting bright out.

We should get back.

- It's only the shank of the evening.

- We really should.

All right. I know a shortcut.

- Through that?

- Yeah.

Wait a minute. What is it?

Mud. You never seen mud before?

It's mud. When the wet stuff

comes down and hits the dirt.

- Dirt?

- Oh, you have been sheltered.

I won't lie:

It's not the highlight of our evening.

Just gotta grit your teeth

and slog through it.

Oh, no, no, no. There is absolutely

no possible way I could...

Firm...

...yet squishy.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

Sorry? I like it!

The oozy gooey-ness of it. It's so...

...sensual!

- It's glorious!

- It's mud.

- Play with me!

- Now?

Play with me in the mud!

You're a wild thing!

This is totally filthy!

By the way, I never asked you...

What's your name?

Me? They call me "No."

Silly. "No" isn't your name!

That's what they say when you're bad.

No. What's another word they say

all the time to you?

There's that "Rocks" thing.

Rocks! That's it.

That's your name.

You are one smart cookie, you know?

You finally noticed.

Well, be cool.

Here comes the doorman.

Permit me to walk you to your door.

I almost hate for this to end.

Well, Rocks, thank you

for a wonderful evening.

It's so ex citing out there.

But it's nice to have

a warm place to come back to.

Where you don't fight for food,

and people don't throw you into trucks.

- You mean home?

- Is that what this is?

It's our home.

Yeah. Home.

- I like the ring of that.

- No!

Rocks! You have eaten

your last shoe around this house!

- Oh, no.

- What'd I do?

- You are out of here!

- No!

Mike, hold on.

Honey, open the door.

Mike, will you please open the door?

I want Daddy!

Merry Christmas, guys.

Merry Christmas, Tom.

Merry Christmas, Dave.

Merry Christmas, Samantha.

Oh, dear.

This is going to be difficult.

I spoke to Conti. After swearing

he'd keep all our people...

...he now won't go through

with the merger...

...unless I let go of 3000 of them.

You're kidding.

Well, can't you do anything about it?

Well, I have this one chance.

He has this cabin upstate.

He wants me to go there,

plead my case this afternoon.

Oh, Samantha, it's Christmas Eve.

I can't.

I know. Believe me, I know.

If there was any other way,

but, I mean, 3000 people?

Be right back. Ralph!

Ralph, you're current

on the Falcon, right?

No. No way.

- Don, I know you are.

- Christmas Eve, man.

- Bill, I'll give you $500.

- I can't.

- 600.

- Hell, I'll do it.

- 750.

- We're married.

We want to stay that way.

Jerry might do it. He's single.

Too late. He's on the runway.

Jerry! Stop! Jerry, stop!

Honey, I'm really sorry.

I did everything I could

to try to get out of this.

My parents will be here

in less than an hour.

I'm still peeling potatoes and

a sock's stuck in the garbage disposal.

I'll take care of it later.

And I'll be there for dinner,

I promise.

Can I talk to Mikey?

Yes. Mike, it's your dad!

- Hello.

- Hey, Mike.

I know that you're not feeling

so good right now, but...

When will you be home?

I'll be home very soon.

I want you now.

I want to be there too.

Hey, do you think Santa would

keep us apart on Christmas Eve?

I mean, no way. Right?

Here's Julie.

Hi, Daddy.

- Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

- Mary.

- Mary who?

Merry Christmas, Daddy!

- Hi, Rocks.

- How you doing, kid?

I'm sorry.

Mom won't let you in the house.

It's not like I never spent

the night outside before.

Why'd you have to go

and chew on her shoes?

It was me, Rocks. I did it.

- I set you up.

- I know.

But it was before we...

Oh, I'd give anything to take it back.

Mom says you have to go away.

It was only a matter of time.

This home stuff was too good to last.

Mom says someday

I can get another dog.

But I don't want another dog.

You're my dog.

It's okay, kid.

I don't belong here.

You're nice people.

You deserve a classy dog like Daph.

She's got looks, brains.

Brains aren't everything.

I may not be smart,

but I know I'm out of here.

You are smart. If you'd pay

attention, you could learn...

...everything they'd want you to.

What do you mean, tricks?

It's too late.

Not with America's most

overtrained dog as your teacher.

- Well, here we are.

- Do you mind if I use the phone?

Oh, no. There's one downstairs

in the kitchen, to the right.

This line is dead.

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