Look Who's Talking Too Page #4

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Just as I thought.

Just a regular old toilet, huh?

Wait till I tell Eddie about this.

Eddie and his bonehead ideas.

Hey, you! You little pisser!

I'm talking to you!

You're supposed to give me pee pee!

Where's that pee pee?

We're talking about pee pee!

- I need that pee pee!

- Oh, no! Mr. Toilet Man!

Listen, I've had it with you!

You'd better give me that pee pee.

Give it to me or the next time you

sit on me, I'll bite off your tushy!

It's okay, honey. Mommy's here.

- Mommy's here. Oh, sweetheart.

- Mommy. Daddy. Potty.

- It's just a dream.

- The Toilet Man.

It was scary.

- You know what it is?

- Get a load of those eyebrows.

- It's a country of showoffs.

- What's the deal with eyebrows?

Eyes I understand.

Mouths I understand. But eyebrows?

I wonder if I'll have a set like his.

Daddy doesn't have a set like his.

- Good luck with your job interview.

- It's confusing.

I guess I'll learn some day.

- I want him out of the house.

- We're going out!

We're getting ready to go out!

I'm so ex cited!

- Daddy, don't take my nose!

- I got your nose.

- Goodbye, Mommy's honey bunny.

- Hi, Mommy.

Let's take the Play-Doh.

There's something I saw earlier

that I'd like to build and if you...

Mom?

Daddy.

Where'd everybody go?

What have I done to deserve this?

Julie, don't worry.

I'll take care of you.

You're too little!

You should have seen my brother

as a kid. He was so cute and sweet!

But no matter what he did,

he'd get in trouble.

Everyone was always screaming at him.

Daddy was screaming.

He looks just like Leon!

- Everybody looks like Leon.

- You think so?

I think if he was in a loving

environment, like my house...

...that he would really

straighten out.

Yeah, right and shutting down.

Thanks, Bill.

Okay, here we are.

- Excuse me. Here we go.

- Where's the briefcase?

- Did you leave it on the plane?

- No.

One minute.

- I'll lock up.

- You bet.

All right, here we are. Thank you.

Good night.

Dickface.

Jeez.

- Hi, Elvis.

- Hey, Priscilla.

How'd it go?

Which part? Blaming me for

turbulence spilling wine on them...

...or bawling me out for weak coffee?

You just got a couple of creeps.

Didrt it feel great not worrying

about driving the cab?

Didrt that make it won'thwhile?

I love flying a Lear jet.

It's just this beeper lifestyle.

You're on call anytime.

That means we can't plan vacations.

What about the kids?

Am I a waiter or a pilot?

Other than that, how did you like it?

- Did you like it?

- Yeah.

You liked it! I knew you would.

All right, I think I'm gonna try it.

Yeah, yeah, it's solid.

I gotta be honest with myself here.

I'm a failure as a big brother.

Look at her.

And I'm going, I'm going, I'm...

...kidding myself.

I try and teach her to crawl,

she's bouncing like a spaniel.

Here I go.

- Yeah, I'm going.

- Wait a minute. She's up.

She's mobile. She's moving.

She's heading right for my toys.

Maybe I better show her

about toys right away...

...before she does something drastic

to one of my toys.

Let me show you something.

These are all toys, right?

Some are mine, some are yours.

- The difference is I have great toys.

- Let me see.

- You have all these stupid, baby toys.

- Can I see that? I like it.

Of course you do.

It's a big-boy toy.

Can't I see it for a little?

You can't have it. You think

you can jump into a toy like this?

- Grow up, kid.

- Jeez, he's always so mean to me.

- Here's a toy you can play with.

- I don't like balls!

Don't cry again.

Freeze!

- What are you doing?

- I'm sorry.

Why do you have a gun in my house?

There are kids here!

It's not loaded.

People say that when

they accidentally kill someone.

"I didn't think it was loaded. "

You guys make me laugh.

You're really funny.

You stock up your cabinets

with bottled water and flashlights.

But what do you think'll happen

when the sh*t hits the fan?

Like earthquakes or flash floods

or mud slides.

Or just chaos and horror,

people dying in the streets.

And you're sitting pretty

with your bottled water.

Now the guy next door,

he's got one of these.

Who's gonna go thirsty?

Him or you?

I mean...

...think about it.

You're nuts.

Mollie, I don't want that maniac

around the kids.

- He's their uncle.

- He sleeps with a gun.

- He does not.

- He tried to shoot me when I came in.

Stewball?

- Do you have a gun in there?

- It's not loaded.

It's not loaded.

I need some cover.

If I drink out of a Styrofoam cup,

you give me a two-hour lecture.

But Travis Bickle moves in with a

semiautomatic weapon and it's okay?

This is New York.

Women carry guns in their purses.

Most people have them

in their nightstands.

Jimmy, if a little unloaded gun

makes him feel better...

Makes him feel better?

Maybe climbing a tower and shooting

students would make him feel better.

Jeez.

Okay now, this might sound

like a stupid question...

...but where is Julie's penis?

Is it in the tub, maybe?

Did she break it off?

- No penis.

- Oh, it's okay.

He wants to know why

Julie doesn't have a penis.

- What?

- Tell him about boys and girls.

- Not at this age, honey.

- Just tell him why we're different.

You do it. I told him

about the potty bit.

All right, take Julie.

Go see Daddy. Go see Daddy.

Mikey...

...Julie is a girl

and you are a boy, okay?

Little boys have penises, but girls

don't because they don't need them.

It's like Mommy. Mommy is a girl,

so I don't have a penis.

But she's got some set of balls.

- But Daddy is a big...?

- Penis.

That's right.

Here we go. What's that?

A penis.

- This one?

- No penis.

That's good! He understands.

What's this?

Tough call.

Oh, boy, was that stupid or what?

It was very stupid.

I think I'm gonna have a heart attack.

You see, at this age people have

the tendency to have a heart attack.

You can do that.

You just go up and down.

But eventually you have a heart attack.

Jump up and down like that.

And don't forget to breathe!

A lot of times people just

drop dead here, and you say:

"Ed, what happened?"

"I forgot to breathe. "

Just jump. Jump up and down.

Yes, like that. Fine.

You like this house?

It's a very good house.

Is it me or is this guy weird?

Just rip my whole face off.

She rips my face off and you punch me.

I've never had so much fun

in my life!

Check out the blond on the monkey

bars. You can see up her dress!

That's Sheila. We played doctor.

Played... Where?

Over there,

behind that bean bag thing.

You dog!

Got another house call.

Eddie gets all the girls.

He's not wearing a diaper.

Maybe I ought to try

this potty thing.

When you have to pee,

you jump up and down.

But sometimes nothing has to come out.

So you try to jump up and down

a little more.

And I don't have to pee.

I don't have to pee.

I do have to pee,

and I better go somewhere.

Here I go. Okay.

Now's the time. I just...

That stuff really sneaks up on you.

I want a bowl of Kraft caramel pieces.

WWF Wrestling Buddies, the

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