Love Don't Cost a Thing Page #5

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l heard you playing your guitar, though.

lt sound hot.

What are you even doing here?

lt's the last day in our two-week contract.

l thought we'd hang out.

Let me hear you play.

Come on.

Look, l'm still learning...

...and the lyrics l wrote

don't go with my melody yet.

l'll read. You play.

Come on.

"And l rise.

ln spite of my fear inside...

...caused by those who have burned me

with their lies.

And l rise.

And l rise."

Look....

Go on, get dressed.

Why?

No more questions. Get dressed.

To my relationships that didn't work

Map of this human heart

Starts at the age of 15

When I lost my virginity

To a lady, older

Like most boys

It was based on the lies I told her

I had so much to prove

Like I had more experience

Than she thought I knew

And though it wasn't true

It was amazing

But it ended because I did

What most young boys do

Listened to the lies of a fool

Which led to this girl

Getting socked in the jaw

In the middle of school

Even though I didn't do it

I felt to blame

Because the girl who hit her was the cousin

Of my man who was salting my game

Nowadays it just don't seem cool

Tell me what the hell

Am I supposed to do?

And then a wise man gave me a clue

He said

"The only way out is the way through "

You know, it's silly...

...but instead of this whole...

..."drill team/Dru Hilton's girl" thing...

...what l really, really always dream about

is just going somewhere.

Somewhere where nobody knows me.

Just being this girl with, like,

crazy cool dreads...

...and a guitar and--

Oh, never mind, it's really dumb.

You know...

...you could bring your guitar here.

No, l can't.

No, you mean you won't.

This is beautiful.

You know, Al...

...there's something

that we've been avoiding all day.

Something that maybe we ought to do.

You know what, you're right.

This might sound kind of silly...

...but how do we do it?

Well....

Just go for it, you know?

Just do it.

Okay.

We'll break up first thing

tomorrow morning.

ln the hallway, so everybody can see.

l mean, make a big scene.

But a dignified scene because,

you know, we gotta protect our reps.

Did you hear what l just said?

Our reps!

Al Johnson has a rep to protect!

Player, player.

Come on, girl, put a pep in your step.

We got school in the morning!

Now, those are the benefits of being raised

in a household with vinyl and 8-track.

-You know, old school for real.

-Damn, man, you got all the 411.

l'm talking Earth, Wind and Fire.

-"Erf," E with a F at the end of it.

-Al?

-Here comes your girl.

-Al, l need to talk to you.

Don't you see grown men

are talking here?

Anyway, you know, as l was saying,

you know, Ohio Players--

Al, we need to talk.

What's up with this "we, we" stuff?

This ain't French class. Ain't no "we."

l'm a free agent now.

-That was cruel.

-Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.

That's how you keep a lady in check,

you know what l'm saying?

You still here?

Bounce. Giddyup.

Damn.

Too many fish in the sea

for her to be hounding me.

-l'm feeling this.

-l hear you, boy.

She gonna be back too. Watch.

Did you just see

how he just dogged Paris?

-l want a strong brother like that.

-Yep.

Look at him, standing there looking

better than a butter-leather Prada bag.

You got a lot of nerve dissing me

the way you did.

Yeah, l know, that's why

l came by, to apologize.

But, yo, Oscar goes to you.

Hey, l just really want to say thank you

for a great couple of weeks.

Well, l was just doing

what l said l would do.

And it worked.

l mean, popularity is so much better

than being treated like a social leper.

Popularity's a job, Alvin.

Not a privilege.

lt's nothing but work and worries.

Work to get in, work to stay in.

Get a clue.

You're killing them, dog.

Morning, dime pieces.

Your gear is real tight today, boo.

Appreciate it. You know,

Nike, Burberry, Gucci, Scooby-Doo.

You're taking me to Jerry's

Friday night, right?

Sure. l mean...

...how could l say no

to a breezy like you?

For real?

Real is all l am, baby.

l'll holler.

Yvonne, he just broke up with Paris

less than 24 hours ago.

You just mad l beat you to him.

It's Yvonne.

You're all mine tomorrow night.

You know, Yolanda, my big girl,

we're gonna need the whole back seat.

Girls are gonna let us. They're gonna let us,

is what l'm saying, when they see this.

-Amazing.

-Came out all right, no thanks to you.

Feel the seats, Alvin.

All right. Got the Phat Farm hookup...

...shag carpet, laptop, minibar. Wow.

Wait till you see the routine

we got worked out to get in the car.

Here. Stand in the front.

Come on, hurry up.

Look, right there.

Doors.

You know, you guys should really

clean out the carburetor.

Ben's got an old Holley four-barrel

at the shop. l think he'll let me get it.

-Cool.

-We're cruising tonight.

l can get right on it. l'll go down there

right now, have it fixed.

-l really wanna roll out with you guys.

-For real? Right on.

We missed you, man.

We've been checking the GM website,

hoping to see your update.

Hey, there's plenty of time for that.

l'll meet you all at Kenneth's house at 8.

We gonna party. Go put on your good stuff.

-l don't have any good stuff.

-lt's all right.

Hey, yo, man. l'm digging the whip, boy.

l'm feeling it, man.

You got the hooptie.

Look at her.

Yeah, l'm like the Renaissance man

of automobiles. You feel me?

This here is my newest work of art.

l call this the "groupie hooptie."

This is hot.

Put a microwave

in the glove compartment.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

-He's doing it.

-Get some. Quench your thirst on that.

He's 63 and a half minutes late.

lt's not like him.

Where you going in such a hurry?

-No rush.

-l get free long distance on my cell, baby.

l don't need it on a date.

ls your foot on the gas?

Sorry.

Now...

...where were we?

You gotta relax, Al.

lt's all right.

Now, don't you worry, because

Mama's gonna take good care of you.

-l was just e-mailing you.

-Sure you were.

No, seriously, man, l'm telling you, you will

not believe what happened to me tonight.

Give us the keys to our car.

Okay, but l'm telling you,

it's coming out like a Penthouse letter.

Y'all know how it is when you're

butt-naked with a little cutie, right?

Yeah, right--

We were worried. We thought you might

be at Ben's working on our car.

-We went down there, but it was closed.

-Took an hour to get his home number.

-You talked to Ben?

-Yeah.

He says if you don't come in soon,

the camshaft's going back to Germany.

-Oh.

-That's right, "Oh."

Look. Let me explain this--

As of midnight, we're officially

excommunicating Alvin from the clubhouse.

The clubhouse from fourth-freaking-grade?

You can't be serious.

We shall never again speak to,

nor respond to any words...

-...from the aforementioned Alvin Johnson.

-Chuck, man.

Three, two, one.

Walter.

Fine, then.

Dude, l don't need you losers.

Ain't my fault

you guys ain't getting no--

Boobie? All you gave him

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