Love Me Tender

(TRAIN WHISTLING)

(TRAIN CONTINUES WHISTLING)

(HARMONICA PLAYING)

Listen to this! Listen to this,

you fellows! You fellows, listen!

General Grant chased the Rebs

out of Richmond four days ago.

And it's rumored that Lee's

already surrendered.

(CHEERING)

The war is over!

(HARMONICA PLAYING)

(CHEERING AND CHATTERING)

(GUNSHOTS)

(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

(HORSE WHINNYING)

(GRUNTING)

(GUNSHOTS)

(GRUNTING)

(LAUGHS)

(TRAIN WHISTLING)

- Here's the captain's papers.

- Get those Yanks out of here quick.

All right, you two, get this body out

of here. Get him out of here, Davis.

- Pardee, get these men out of sight.

- Come on.

Now come on, let's go.

VANCE:
Hurry it up, Mike. Hurry it up.

(TRAIN BELL RINGING)

- HARRIS:
Captain Cagle?

- Yes, sir.

- Brevet Major Harris.

- We've been expecting you, major.

Here's the warrant for the payroll.

Well, you brought a very small

guard for this much money.

- There's no Rebs within 50 miles.

- What about Randall's raiders?

We drove those bushwhackers

clear out of Louisiana

with their tails between their legs.

Well...

All right. Hand it down.

Where's the station agent?

He got taken sick all of a sudden.

One of the boys took him back to camp.

Where you going?

- Back to the train.

- Go ahead.

Just stand beside it with your mouth shut

and get on when it pulls out.

I'll be watching you from this window.

Sign this receipt. And get that

money to your camp in a hurry.

(TRAIN WHISTLES)

Stop them, major! They're rebels.

- They shot the station agent!

- What?

Get after them, you darn fools!

They stole your payroll.

(GUNSHOTS)

- You all right?

- Yeah. Let's get out of here.

Fire at them, they're rebels!

(GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)

Hey, lieutenant. Ain't that a federal

offense, breaking open them boxes?

(CHUCKLING)

Ain't that a beautiful sight?

Makes you feel like a sore-eyed kitten

with a whole basin full of milk.

Yeah. What a pity it don't belong to us.

How much you figure it comes to?

$12,250.

(WHISTLES)

Lieutenant, how about making

that a neat, round sum?

Say $10,000, and us fellows

dividing up the difference?

Why, you thieving river rat.

The Army'd shoot us for that.

How'd they know about it? Who would tell?

- I wouldn't, for one.

- Me neither.

Look at us. A bunch of starved

scarecrows, whipped and dead broke.

We got nothing coming out of this war

except shriveled guts and saddle sores.

You got a mighty tempting argument.

But I kind of doubt if it's legal.

It ain't legal, Vance, or moral.

Confederacy can use that money

a heap more than we can.

You're right. Tomorrow we're

taking this to General Randall.

Well, we tried anyway.

Let's get into this grub.

The regiments broke camp and moved out.

Yeah. But where to?

I don't know. The general said

they'd wait for us right here.

Been away eight days.

Might've been attacked.

Or ordered away all of a sudden.

We better ride into Claysville and find out.

VANCE:
What's your regiment, soldier?

Fifth Louisiana Rifles,

or what's left of them.

Where's Randall's outfit?

The cavalry disbanded

two or three days ago.

Scattered every which way

so as not to give up the horses.

You fellows would be wise to do likewise

before the Yanks confiscate them.

Wait a minute. What are you

talking about? What's happened?

What's happened?

You mean you ain't heard?

General Lee surrendered

to Grant four, five days ago.

Appomattox Courthouse in Virginia.

Surrendered? You're crazy.

No, that's a fact, lieutenant.

All of us gave up our guns

in Shreveport last Monday.

So the war's over. We can all go home.

MAN:
If you've got one left to go to.

Now that the brigade's scattered,

how we gonna find the general?

- That's just it. We can't.

- We gotta try, Vance.

- Why?

- Why?

To give him the money, of course.

I don't know.

The surrender changes everything.

We gotta talk it over.

We can't take this money, Vance.

It don't rightly belong to us.

Then tell us who it does rightly belong to.

Well, it belongs to the Confederate

government, I suppose.

Confederate government? There ain't

no more Confederate government.

- It's finished.

- That's the truth, Brett.

They'll probably hang Jeff Davis

and throw all the others in prison.

Well, then it must still be Federal property.

You mean we ought to give it back

to them? Like thunderation we will.

I got a minnie ball in my leg

that's gotta be paid for.

Your own brother nearly died

of gangrene in a Yankee prison.

- Ain't that worth nothing to you?

- Listen.

We didn't steal this money.

We took it in battle, fair and square.

It's what they call "spoils of war,"

like capturing a horse or anything else.

We didn't know the war was over

and neither did the Federals.

So it's still prize money.

It's ours. You don't have to take

your share, if it sticks in your craw.

How do you feel about this, Ray?

What Vance says makes sense to me.

If we got a right to it,

we'd be plumb fools not to take it.

So it's settled. I got it all figured out.

We got $1750 apiece coming to us.

Wait till I get back to Georgia with this.

I'm gonna buy me a hog and

a dog and a rocking chair.

And we all three just gonna

sit there and scratch.

(CHUCKLING)

Not us. We're gonna fix us up

the best farm in east Texas, huh?

You bet. But first,

I'm gonna get married.

Cathy's been waiting four years.

It seems more like 40 to me.

And now, instead of going back

to her empty-handed, I got this money.

Yanks!

(YANKEE SOLDIERS CHATTERING)

Look at them. All brave and sassy

now that they licked us.

Not us, Mike. Maybe the South is licked

but not us.

Still, it's smarter if we

split up here and now.

- So long, Mike.

- So long, Vance.

Whenever you get to Texas,

you know where to find me.

I ain't ever gonna leave that rocking chair.

- Goodbye, Brett. Lots of luck.

- Thank you.

- Goodbye.

- GAVIN:
Sarge.

FLEMING:
Tucker. Vance.

You're new around here.

What happened to McComb?

He joined the Army. I'm minding the

store until he gets back. If he's still alive.

Vance, how you think Ma

would like this bonnet?

Oh, fine. That's pretty.

See if they have a fancy one

with lace and long pink ribbons

on it for Cathy.

No, that's the only one I got left.

Anyhow, who feels free nowadays?

He does! He's going home to get married.

(LAUGHS)

That's if we clean him up enough

so his sweetheart'll recognize him.

Don't worry. Cathy would

know me a mile away.

Sure wish I could take her a real nice

present like a gold ring or a bracelet.

Sorry. But that's all the female

finery I got left, mister.

Except this here bustle, which

I've been using for a mousetrap.

- And give us that too.

- Hey, Vance.

Now this is fit and proper for a bridegroom.

- And it's just your size too.

- Say, this feels like real broadcloth.

Sure is, mister. Probably the

last good suit left in the state.

How much you want?

Well, with the pants, that'll cost you $14.

And I'll throw in a pair of galluses free.

- I'll take it.

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