Loving Annabelle

My cigarette burns like a flame.

My lungs

will never be the same.

I puff, and I puff.

I can't get enough.

Oh, well.

I'll get cancer

just the same.

Very nice, Catherine,

but remember,

the beauty of poetry

is in the details.

Next time, you might want

to be more specific

about which brand

you smoke.

Someone will be out shortly

to get you.

Who would like

to go next?

Colins,

how about you?

"A single blade.

"Cold.

Alone.

"Misunderstood,

causing fear to move

through my soul like wind"-

See me after class.

That was very nice, Colins.

Yeah, nice enough

to make you

want to kill yourself.

- Hey.

- Hi.

You're the new girl, right?

Yeah.

I'm Kristen Edwards.

Annabelle.

It's nice to meet you.

You too.

Oh, my God.

Your mother

is Senator Tillman.

That is so cool.

Oh, my God,

your mom is such an inspiration.

I'm totally going

into politics.

Who are you?

Only the daughter

of Senator Tillman.

Who's that?

Hello?

Her mom could be, like,

our first female president.

I doubt that.

Are you in a band?

Yeah.

Mm.

A rock star.

Cat's dad's drummer

for The Weary.

Was.

He's doing

his own thing now.

He's in rehab.

Dude.

What?

What?

You better not let them

catch you smoking.

Later.

Bye.

Bye.

This is our administrative hall.

The cafeteria

and offices are here.

Senior dorm rooms

are upstairs.

And your classes

are up the hill

in the other building.

You might want to hide those

underneath your shirt.

Why?

And the nose ring,

you might want

to take that out.

Don't say

I didn't warn you.

It's open.

Good luck.

God, please bless this food

we are about to receive.

May it nourish our body

in Jesus Christ.

Amen.

I hear you're in dorm five.

It looks that way.

Me too.

You're lucky.

The sisters don't let us

do anything,

but Miss Bradley, she lets us

order pizza sometimes

and stay up later

on the weekends.

Sounds great.

Where did you

put your chem notes?

Why are you

wigging out?

I'm wigging out

because if I don't pass chem,

I'm going

to fail again.

It's her second go-round

as a senior.

Just announce it

to the whole frigging world, Cat.

I'm sorry,

but it is.

I can't believe

she's smoking.

"I feel like I'm only... "

Hey, Prissy.

What's in the cage?

It's a porcupine.

Her name is Prissy.

I found her in the woods.

L-I think her mother died.

Careful,

Annabelle.

That thing

has wicked gas.

She doesn't have gas.

No one else

knows about her but us.

Miss Bradley

is letting me keep her.

Because she has

no other friends.

Come here,

Prissy.

Come here.

"My respiration

"and inspiration.

"The beating

of my heart.

"The passing of blood and air

through my lungs.

"A few light kisses,

"a few embraces,

"a reaching around

of arms.

"The song of me

rising from bed

and meeting

the sun. "

Now, we've already spent

a lot of time

talking about Song of Myself

from a stylistic perspective,

but what about content?

Wasn't Walt Whitman gay?

Yes.

So he's writing this

about another man.

Let's take a closer look

at the opening lines.

What does he mean

when he writes,

"I celebrate myself,

"for every atom

belonging to me

belongs to you"?

Martha?

We're all connected?

Anyone else?

Annabelle.

Because, through love,

we feel the intensity

of our connection

to everything

and everyone,

and at the core,

we're all the same.

We're all one.

So I'm the same as Colins.

I don't think so.

Why don't you

expand your mind?

Why don't you

stop cutting yourself?

Out of my class.

Everyone open your books

to page 46.

Let's take another look

at the beginning.

A story I loved as a child

was about two frogs

who were playing leapfrog.

What else?

But by mistake,

they jumped into a large vat

of fresh cream.

Finding no foothold,

they started swimming

to avoid drowning.

But one of the frogs

was just too tired.

He couldn't take it,

and he croaked to his friend

that he was finished.

And sure enough,

he sank to the bottom

of that vat

and died

a miserable death.

He really croaked.

But the other frog

missed his friend,

of course,

saddened

by his loss,

but he kept

right on going,

persevering,

swimming,

persevering,

sim-

persevering,

swimming with determi...

Here we go.

He kept

right on going-

With perseverance

and determined strokes,

he had churned

that cream into butter

and hopped out.

Deo gratias.

I'm glad you could

make it out tonight.

Me too.

You've been

so busy lately.

How are your classes going?

Good.

My plate is definitely

full this semester.

So have you, you know,

had any thoughts

about our conversation

last week?

What?

Why do you

keep putting this off?

I'm not

putting it off.

I...

I'm just, um-I'm not ready

to leave the school yet.

You can live off campus

and still teach there.

I do it for my school.

Why does

the subject of us,

you know,

moving in together

stress you out

so much?

Can't we just have

a nice evening out together?

All right.

You're right.

You're right.

"Now you feel

"how nothing

clings to you.

"Your vast shell

reaches into endless space,

"and there

the rich, thick fluids

"rise and flow.

"IIluminated

in your infinite peace,

"a billion stars

go spinning through the night,

"blazing high

above your head.

"But in you

is the presence that will be

when all the stars

are dead."

When Rilke says,

"Your vast shell

reaches into endless space,

and there the rich, thick fluids

rise and flow,"

what was he talking about?

I think

he's talking about sex.

What would make you

think that?

"Your vast shell

reaches into endless space."

It sounds like the metaphor

for the body as it orgasms.

And "endless space"

could represent

the infinite

possibilities

that open for you

when you climax.

And "thick fluids,"

well, that's kind of obvious.

I think Rilke

is implying

that sex and love

can merge together,

especially good sex.

Annabelle, I'd like

to speak with you.

Look, I respect my students,

and I encourage you all

to have your own opinions-

But...

But I can't help thinking

that you were trying

to get a rise out of me.

And why would I want

to do that?

Perhaps to get attention.

Or perhaps I'm intrigued.

Intrigued by what?

By you.

I'd appreciate it

if you'd be

more appropriate

with your comments

in my class.

Hey, it's Anna.

Is my mother there?

Well, tell her

it's me.

Right. Go up the hill.

Then, after winding around-

Oh, Miss Bradley,

Mother Immaculata

wants to see you.

Yes, yes, I understand.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes.

No, I assure you

that everything

is under control.

Thank you.

Whew.

We need to have

a serious talk

about Annabelle Tillman.

How did you get this?

It was a Christmas gift

from my dad.

Seriously?

It might not

be a Beamer,

but that's not going to do you

any good here anyway.

What are you guys doing?

Get out of here,

Prickle Priss.

Come sit by me, Colins.

Whatever.

Your dad seems cool, Cat.

When he's sober.

Which is never.

Dude, let's play

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