Madea's Family Reunion Page #2

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fighting for my virginity...

than to be sitting there|dealing with this.

She'll be a great|foster mother, your honor.

This a Benz.|What kind of drugs you sell?

I don't sell drugs.

I'm a lawyer.

You get the drug dealers off.

That ain't no way to|talk to no grown person...

and stop poppin' that gum.

Don't tell me what to do.

Madea.

You better get her.

She don't know who|she's talking to.

You better|ask somebody, honey.

You know, the kids|are doing well.

Yeah, and Deborah...|how's she doing?

She's doing good,|15 months clean.

Good. I thought I was|gonna have to hide my purse...

at the family reunion,|'cause she used to steal.

No, you won't|have to do that.

So, where's it|gonna be this year?

Gonna be|at Aunt Ruby's.

Little girl, I'm gonna|ask you one more time...

to stop popping that gum.

Whatever.

You going|to Lisa's wedding?

Yeah, I'm going.

I tell you, that Vanessa's|been wearing me out...

asking me about I'm going.

Little girl, if you don't|stop popping that gum...

Look! If you touch me...

I'm gonna call 911.

My daughter tried that.|I hit her so hard...

she dialed 9-9-10.

You don't know me.|I'll whip an old woman.

What? Who the hell|you talking to?

I'm talking to you.

You think I'm playing?

You ain't got no sense!|Calm down!

- Calm down!|- Shut up! Shut up!

Now sit in that seat|and put the seat belt on.

You better put that|seat belt on right now!

What the hell is wrong|with these children today...

but, I set 'em straight.

I'm from the old school,|and I will beat...

the hell out of you first|and ask questions later.

If you don't know how|to get in line...

I will get you in line.

Remind me to never|leave my kids with you again.

Are you ready?

Welcome to your|wedding, darling.

I thought since he|proposed to you in Paris...

we'd give it|a Parisian theme.

The Eiffel tower...

an orchestra...

flowers flown in from Paris.

The only wedding...

Wow, you can do all this?

Oh, yes, darling,|I can get it done.

I like that one.

Well, this is|Tomojio's design.

He's my favorite, as well.

Now, his bid is a little|on the expensive side...

but he is worth it.

We want him.

Good.

This will be the wedding|to rival all weddings.

I'll get Tomojio|on the line...

and let him know you're|going with his design.

Madea is having|a family reunion...

and we're going.

I know. I heard.

You know we don't|fraternize, darling.

Mom, this is our family...

and it'll be good for you|to see your grandkids.

I don't want to see|those little bastards.

Mom! You will not talk about|my children that way.

I swear, Vanessa...

all the opportunities|we afforded you...

you have managed to throw|every one of them away.

You're just like your father.

Because Lisa's father|had money...

he was better than mine?

Your father was a musician...

who tried to ruin my life...

is what I meant.

Now, he threw|his life away...

and you are doing the same.

You took the easy way out|and married that evil...

All you wanted was his money.

You will watch your mouth.

That man did|everything he could...

for you and your sister...

and it wasn't easy,|asking him to take you in...

and you tried|with all your might...

to destroy my marriage.

And now you will|not talk about...

my late husband|in that manner.

You are so wicked.

You're gonna rot in hell.

I vacation there.

Who told you you know how|to fix a lawnmower?

Uncle Joe, I know what|I'm doing, all right?

I've fixed|lawnmowers before.

That ain't right.|You got to look here, boy.

Get on out of the way.

You got to work on|the auxiliary carburetor.

This is the spark plug.

You need the auxiliary...

This is the auxiliary|carburetor...

and everything run through|the auxiliary carburetor...

going on down|to the engine.

You see? All you|need to do...

is tap that|to get it in line.

See?

I'm 'a tell Mabel|you broke it.

Wait now, Mr. Jones.

I'm tell her you did it.

Hey, Isaac broke|your lawnmower.

- I did not.|- Yeah, you did.

You did. He broke it.

How you doin', Isaac?|Good to see you.

How you doin', Madea?

What's going on, man?|How you doin'?

Hey, Brian.

- How are you?|- Good, good.

I was sure hoping they|would lock you the hell up.

Only thing locked up|'round here is your bowels.

Now shut the hell up.

How you doin', Daddy?

Hey, Brian.|Hey, uh, Tiffany...

How you doin'?

Daddy, this is|not my daughter.

They all look alike to me.

Who it's for?

Madea is her|new foster mother.

You're gonna have|a house guest.

That child ain't|staying here.

You can't stay here.

Go back to where|you came from.

You can't stay|in this house.

Bad enough|you let that gal...

move in here|with them two babies...

making all that|racket...

all day long,|now you brought her.

Every time I send you|somewhere...

you come back|with somethin'.

Take it back.|We don't want it.

Return to sender.

I remember I sent you|somewhere too...

and you came back|with somethin'.

You still itchin'?

Yo' mama.

Hell. That's my|mama too, ain't it?

Don't say that|in front of this child.

Come in the house.

I'll show you where|you're sleeping.

Daddy, you gotta stop|being so mean.

I wish I had been|mean to your mama.

Then I wouldn't be|sitting here...

Iooking at you right now.

That's crazy as hell, all|these people in this house.

I'm gonna call|the fire marshal.

That is against the law!

I'm gonna|need some weed...

to be dealing with|all these people in here.

Babies crying|every five minutes.

Hell!

How you doin'?

Why, thanks, I'm fine.

My heart's all better...

from you shooting me|down the other day.

You still haven't|called a brother.

You still have my number?

Yes? No?

Maybe?

What do you keep|writing in that pad?

Why?

I'm just wondering.

Poetry.

Poetry, wow.

You're a poet?

Will you just drive|this bus, please, man?

You know,|I like poetry too.

Check this out.

Roses are red...

violets are blue.

If you go out with me...

you will like me too.

A smile!

Ladies and gentlemen,|hallelujah, I see a smile.

You are so...

You should|go out with me.

I know this|great spot... poets.

Lady, please say yes|so he can shut up.

What do you say?

I've had a really|long day...

my feet hurt, these|pantyhose are too tight...

and I got two kids at home|waiting for me.

Two?

Yeah, two.

I bet he don't want to|go out now. Two kids?

Dude, she said "two kids."|Think about it.

- You need to shut up.|- Don't start, Tyreka.

I got a son.

Maybe we could make this|a family thing...

if you say yes.

Miss? Miss!

He really is a nice guy.

I take my son to the park|every Saturday.

You should|bring your kids.

You call me,|and I'll tell you where.

What do you say?

I'll think about it.

Good morning.

That baby's speaking to you.|Say good morning.

And?

Oh, I'm sorry.|Natural reaction.

I was getting ready to|jump over this table here.

You ain't got time|to eat that.

Bus'll be here any minute.

You should've|been down earlier.

Take it to school|with you.

I don't want|to go to school.

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