Maggie's Plan Page #8

You can have a plate of saltines,

uh, a cheese stick and an apple.

- Can you cut up the apple?

- Ask Justine!

She's busy!

- This is ridiculous. I have to go. I have to go.

- Where will you stay?

I don't know. I'll just call some friends

and I'll just avoid a hotel.

We've gotta give them time to adjust.

All right, Paul,

here I come to cut up your apple.

Hey, Jonathan.

I don't know if you guys are, you know,

back yet or not.

But, um, listen,

if you are, give me a shout, okay?

I think... Hey, Ben I don't know if

your couch is available.

But I can bring beer!

Oh, Felicia. Thank God you're home.

Hi, how are you doing?

Uh, not so good.

- So she already told you guys?

- Well, she...

- Has she called you?

- No, she called me.

I don't think she's talked to Tony.

He's been out all day.

What did she say? Is she all right?

You think she's gonna be okay?

- What is this...

- You know Maggie, she...

- She takes care of herself.

- I know. I know. I know.

She's taken care of herself her whole life.

- I mean, she's emotional.

- Yeah, right... It's just...

It all seems so unreal.

I know... I just...

- Look, I think that you need to be honest.

- Well, sure...

- I mean, I'm trying to be honest.

- You know, when you can.

I mean, it's... I mean... I'm surprised!

- You know, I mean...

- Listen, I know, I mean, I don't...

I don't know, but I can only imagine.

- John! Aren't you supposed to be in Canada?

- No, he's here.

- Yeah, I'm here. You had a trial?

- Yeah.

- Did you win?

- Trounced them!

Yeah? What was it for?

- Tainted pudding.

- Tainted pudding.

- Like, a lawsuit?

- You betcha! It's what keeps my wife

in post-modern choreography

and me in self-loathing.

Yay.

It keeps the world going round round here.

Um, if you're gonna have that attitude,

you should go to bed.

No. No, no, no.

I want that vanilla whiskey that you

so lovingly gave me last Christmas, Fi.

Really? 'Cause I feel like you've had

more than you need of something already.

No, no, no, no.

This stuff's like liquid crack, John.

You're gonna love it.

Would you like a finger full?

- There's three fingers in there.

- Cheers.

- Nice.

- John...

- Oh, Jesus.

- What?

I just sat on my balls.

I think you should probably get your balls

hemmed like that actor. What's his name?

You know, apparently

it's like a few stitches, and then... Boop!

It's like a ball lift.

- John, any word?

- You haven't talked to Maggie?

No. I've been up to my knees in pudding.

- Well...

- Yeah, tell him.

Well... John and Maggie...

- No, tell him.

- Sorry, right.

- He and Georgette...

- What? Like, it worked?

That's nuts.

What worked?

What do you mean?

What's the thing they say

about drinks and tits?

That one's too few and three are too many.

- I shouldn't drink.

- You're not a drinker.

- I'm not a drinker.

- Oh, sh*t.

This is what Georgette

was trying to tell me about...

No, no, no.

- Oh, Tony.

- She might have been trying to tell you...

You guys set me up?

- No! No!

- God, no!

No, no one set anybody up.

Set-up is such a strong word.

Don't say "set-up."

John?

Was it a test, huh?

Is that it?

To see if I was still in love with Georgette

as you secretly suspected?

You must be very happy now.

I felt we were going to break up.

And I had a feeling that you were

still in love with Georgette.

And it turns out you were.

Well, what about Lily, huh? Our daughter.

- How does she fit into your little scheme?

- If we were going to break up,

it's best that we just do it now,

so this is all that she knows.

But I didn't want to break up! Huh?

I didn't want to!

First off, among other things,

because I am committed to our marriage!

- And because we have a child together.

- But not because you want to be with me.

This is the fate

you have picked out for me, huh?

To ricochet across the tri-state area,

just ruining families?

I don't accept that, all right?

I didn't pick that.

I cannot believe you made me feel so guilty

for betraying you

and wrecking our marriage,

when you masterminded this whole thing.

You manipulated me back with my ex.

The two of you colluded

to send me to that conference,

like I'm some kind of an absurd patsy.

Guess what?

This little puppet is cutting his strings.

You can both go f*** yourselves.

You and Georgette never really

stopped being together

- the whole time we were married.

- What?

I mean, yes, I know you thought it was over,

but it wasn't really.

And this is the proof.

Just be honest with yourself.

- It's what you wanted.

- No, Maggie, no.

What do you want? That's the question.

What do you want, Maggie Hardin?

I want to live honestly.

- You're off to a great start.

- I don't want to be in a marriage that's a lie.

I don't want to tiptoe around

our disconnection anymore.

- I did what I thought was right.

- Well, you're very ethical.

Well, you're the one who slept

with someone else.

Give me a f***ing break with that one.

Give me a break with that.

Where are you going?

I have no idea.

What about the kids?

You and Georgette are

such good teammates.

Why don't you strategize with her?

Oh, Wiglet...

I made a big mess.

- You made a mess?

- Yes.

And I don't know how to clean it up.

But why did you not use a sponge?

Just forget about it.

- He found out.

- How?

My friend, Tony.

He was drunk and it slipped.

It was inevitable.

I almost told him myself several times.

It was the tragic flaw in my plan.

Where is he?

I don't know.

I think he's just really sick of us both

right now. Mostly me.

Georgette. I don't know what to say.

You're a funny person.

There is something so pure about you.

You know, and a little bit stupid.

And it's a kind of innocence.

You know, just so unconscious.

I can't help it. I like you.

I don't blame you. I just shouldn't have

let him back in my life again.

I decided against it, even in Canada.

But it was the snow.

It was the cozy, cozy snow.

We just fell for each other again.

- I wanted my husband back.

- You don't have to lose him.

You know what? If you see him,

you tell him for me to screw off.

Say it! Screw off, okay? Darling, come.

If you want me to take the kids

for a few days...

No, stop it. Stop trying to take care

of everybody all the time.

No, it's no trouble at all.

Plus, they're used to me, right, Justine?

Can you please just tell

me what's going on?

Your dad and I got into a big fight

and he's taking some time.

- Are you and him getting back together?

- It's a complex situation.

- Are you sad?

- No.

Angry?

You guys have no idea

what you're doing, do you?

I mean, there's no plan.

Is there?

I like to eat, eat, eat

What about you?

Apples and bananas

I like to eat, eat, eat

Apples and bananas

- Justine, did you find your charger?

- Yeah, yeah.

Where's my science book?

- Oh, no. Did you get any sleep?

- Maybe two hours.

- Go back to bed.

- No, no. I'll help. I'll go back later.

- But we're fine. We're fine.

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