Malena

1

This afternoon at 5:00.

Il Duce will speak to the nation!

You are ordered

to turn your radios on!

All of you who have radio sets

and radio gramophones...

are ordered to turn them on.

Mussolini will speak to

all Italians!

You are authorized by order

of the Fascist government...

to interrupt your work.

This afternoon at 5:00...

Il Duce will speak to the nation.

I was twelve and a half

when I saw her for the first time.

And my mind plays tricks on me,

I remember it well.

That day, Mussolini declared war

on France and Great Britain...

and I got my first bicycle.

The frame is British, the gears are German,

the pedals are French,

and the brakes are from...

I forget.

But the chain is Sicilian...

always keep it greasy.

Are you sure it's safe?

I have new bikes too.

Mimi, we're at war.

Who can afford a new bicycle?

Fighting men,

on land, on sea and in the air,

Black shirts of the revolution,

men and women of Italy...

and the Kingdom of Albania, hearth is...

The hour...

of decisions from which

there is no return.

Pino, think this ant knows he's dead meat?

Who knows?

If he's like you, he doesn't know sh*t.

The declaration of war...

has already been delivered to the ambassadors.

I'm free from misery.

Mary's son is my Lord.

I'm free from misery.

Mary's son is my Lord.

Hey, guys!

Lucky bastard.

- He got a new bicycle!

- Man, she's beautiful!

Custom-made, just like the racers.

- Now you're a man, like us.

- So I can join the gang?

- "Don Agostino"?

- Okay by me.

- "Don Nicola"?

- I'd let him in.

- "Don Tonino"?

- Sure.

- And you, "Don Sasa"?

- I don't want some kid poking into our business.

- Why? What are you doing?

- Can you keep your mouth shut?

She's coming!

What's going on?

If you wanna be one of us,

just shut up and watch.

- Who is she?

- The deaf guy's daughter, our new Latin teacher.

- What's her name?

- What a wonderful ass!

What I wouldn't give for an hour with her!

- Too bad she's married.

- If she weren't...

What's her name?

Malena, the most beautiful ass

in Castelcuto.

The sun is bigger than the moon.

Or Sol maior est quam lunam.

Can I screw your daughter,

you deaf old fart?

Yes, but hurry.

I love honesty more than wealth.

- Seven thumbs long!

- Seven and a half thumbs!

- Mine's a bazooka!

- I got eight!

Eight is nothing!

That's just tickling a woman.

One, two... three and two is five,

two is seven and two is nine.

Torpedo!

My submarine will rip Malena in half!

Once I skipped school

and went by Malena's house.

She was at the window,

and she called out to me.

I thought she wanted me

to get her some cigarettes.

I went up for the money,

and her robe fell open.

And there she was...

naked as the day she was born.

Holy sh*t! She did it

on purpose to excite me.

I was an idiot.

I should have jumped at the chance.

If it happens again,

I'll bang her brains out.

She'd quit smoking first.

She knows you've got no balls.

You little runt, you've been

here for two hours...

and you still haven't measured yourself.

Measure it!

One, two,

three, four, five...

Only six!

You know what they say

about a kid in short pants?

Short pants:
Short dick!

F*** off. My thumbs are

twice as big as yours!

Bullshit!

- Who's got the biggest dick now, runt?

- You do!

No, I am II Duce!

Nobody's bigger than me!

- Ooh. Renato's skipping school.

- Shh!

You, come here!

I need some cigarettes.

What cigarettes do you want?

Macedonia Extra.

I remember this suit very well.

It's your father's.

I sewed it 20 years ago,

and it still looks brand-new.

He only wore it to his wedding.

He wants to keep it for his funeral.

If he's buried in this suit,

he'll go straight to heaven!

My father's still young.

And you're too young

for long pants.

I didn't ask for your opinion, sir.

- Does he know about this?

- Of course he does!

You little scoundrel,

what the hell is this?

Come here, mister.

So you want to skip school?

Fine. Who didn't at your age?

- Leave him alone!

- I know what I'm doing.

And you let your friends beat you up.

Even though when I was your age,

I'd beat my friends up!

But stealing trousers from your father...

and getting them altered for yourself

is just plain wrong.

But, Papa, you don't understand!

Understand?

Who said you could speak?

I'm ashamed to wear short pants!

What about knickers?

They're almost long pants!

Enough!

He's still a child!

I'll tell our party secretary you won't

let me go to the Fascist exercises!

Let's make a deal.

The day someone cracks the skull

of "Our Great Leader,"

then you'll get long pants.

Swear it.

A beautiful young woman

all alone here. It's a crime.

- Who's he talking about?

- Malena Scordia, Nino's sexy new wife.

She must have somebody

on the side... it's inevitable!

- Number fifteen!

- Me.

Right. Nino brings her from

her village with her ailing father.

And then a month later...

boom... Nino's called to the war.

Who here wants to bet

she's sleeping all alone?

Not me!

Why don't you let me

sit with the others?

You're too young to sit

in the adult chair.

But, son, if you don't know

the title, how can I help you?

It's that pretty, romantic one...

Ma L'Amore No.

Why didn't you say so?

Ten lire.

Pay at the cashier's.

- Don't you test it?

- What for?

- It might be defective.

- It's brand-new!

Miss Malena, this heart of mine,

on fire, has written so many letters,

and if I didn't have the courage

to send them to you,

it was only because

I didn't want to do you harm.

So forgive me if I dare

to send you this one.

I want you to know that

this town has many gossips...

who say bad things about you...

that you have a secret lover.

I know it's not true.

You don't have anyone.

After your husband,

the only man in your life is me.

I have to go.

I'll see you at school tomorrow.

So long!

Don't get lost!

Mr. Lawyer!

Your newspaper's upside down!

Mind your own f***ing business!

Good morning, Signora Malena.

Are you well? How is your father?

The show's over!

She's gone now!

I forgot the key.

So it's true what people say!

What's the matter with you?

You look so strange.

You've poisoned me with your lies.

What lies?

I've never spoken to you.

I knew it from the start...

you're a loose woman.

But I've never done anything wrong.

Liar! I've been following

you on my bicycle!

- I know where you went. I know everything!

- No!

- The lawyer, the dentist!

- No, Renato, I love only you!

Liar!

- Amoroso.

- Here!

- Cali.

- Here!

- Costanza.

- Here!

Professor, can I put my dick

between Malena's tits?

Can I put mine in her mouth?

Can I put mine

between her legs?

Okay, but one at a time!

Why didn't she marry

someone from her own village?

I'm sure no one wanted her.

They say she's a seamstress.

But she's so vulgar.

My son says she looks fake.

My husband says he wouldn't touch

her with a ten-foot pole.

The Baron Bonta's mistress

is much nicer.

At least Gina does everything

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